I need to sneak time off work. Advice needed.

[KeepServingTheDrinks]

I had a dentist appointment a couple of weeks ago. He noticed something unusual in my mouth, which he told me about, and said he wanted to send me to have a cancer screening about to make sure it wasn't anything bad. And he gave me a lecture to say if he was making the referral, it was REALLY important i went along [which I guess is a thing about the NHS and costing them money on people missing appointments].
The thing is, half-an-hour later, I realized what it was.... I chew nicotine gum, and I've only been chewing it on one side because of toothache on the other side. I rang the dentist, but he still wants me to have anything more sinister ruled out. (do tongue biospy's hurt???)

Last Monday I said (all bright and breezy) to a colleague "how was your weekend?" and she said "fine" but looked a bit off, so I gave her a 'Paddington' stare, and said 'are you ok'. At which point she broke down. Very upset. She's had some kind of dodgy test, and has to have it checked out for cancer.

No one else at work knows except me. I don't want her to know about 'my' thing, because I know my 'thing' is a nothing. So I don't want to tell my work why I'm off, because she'll get to hear about it (she's on the senior management team, and they share information like staff absences).

I work in a school (not a teacher!). You're not allowed to take time off in term time without a good reason.

What should I do? Should I just lie? Should I tell the Head the truth and that someone on her senior team has a health anxiety that only I know about? (which kind-of is like a stealth boast IYSWIM???? )

I have to miss an important meeting to go to my stupid biopsy.

You don't have to sneak time off. Backstory is completely irrelevant.

You have an important appointment which can't wait until the holidays.

As for the tongue biopsy itself. I was really surprised how quickly it healed.
My big worry was telling the taxi driver the address home and me not being able to speak, but I could It felt just the same as having an injection at the dentist afterwards.

No sneaking necessary
She needs testing for possible cancer
So do you, to be blunt
Hopefully you'll both prove negative but neither is more important than the other

Just say you have a medical appointment and the time you'll be back in the office?...you're not obligated to explain your own medical issues, let alone any one else's.

I don't want to worry you unduly but you really won't know that your thing is a nothing until after the biopsy

I really don't understand.

You need to have a medical appointment, your colleague's medical issues have no bearing on whether YOU need one or not.

Just get the test done and take the sick leave you need to do it.

No brainer.

Seriously just go. As a GP people doing this does my head in.

Tell the boss you have an urgent hospital appointment they don't need to know anything more.

You are seriously overthinking this.

"I have been referred by my dentist for a tongue biopsy. I'm sure it's nothing but you'll understand I don't wish to discuss it"

End of conversation.

Seriously, her health issue is completely irrelevant to yours.

I don't understand the issue at all.

Your colleague might have cancer. It's not "health anxiety" to be concerned about that.

You too might have something amiss. Your dentist, who has seen more mouths than you'll have had hot dinners, has emphasised the importance of getting it checked out.

Given the incidence of cancer among the population, I'm sure this won't be the first time a workplace has had to deal with two members of staff needing to have tests done.

Just tell your work the truth, go for the tests, and don't fanny around trying to change the dates or worrying about the impact on your colleague.

I don't understand what your colleague's situation has to do with this at all? The two things surely have nothing at all to with each other, and her tests are quite irrelevant to the story?

I have bumped into (primary) teacher in town who had been to doctor's surgery, on a school day. Even teachers are allowed time off for medical things.

I knew someone who died of cancer of the tongue. Have the biopsy.
Your colleague's health is a completely separate issue and has no bearing on anything to do with you.

As a dentist I would say that if your dentist has sent your referral as urgent then go. The biopsy will be fine, mouths heal very quickly.

Urgent hospital appointment is all your work need to know?

You go and see your line manager and say
" I have been referred to the hospital for an urgent test to rule out cancer
It's on insert day at insert time
It means I will miss the meeting. Can you please make sure I get the minutes?"
Job done
Nobody is going to refuse you that

You have an urgent hospital appointment. Tell them the truth. Job done.

Your colleague MAY have cancer. You MAY have cancer. Don't you see it's the same?

I think you're being a bit of a drama llama. Just tell them the truth.

A dentist saved my mum's life when i was a kid. Suggested she needed a referral and insisted the GP who said it was nothing wrote the letter. It wasn't nothing, but the reason she survived was that the dentist didn't let her wait around. Even if you have to fess up at work it's important to take the advice of the professionals. (Plus, smoking and tabacco chewing increase the risk. Dunno if nicotine gum is similar but at the very least I'd guess you may be an ex smoker...). Please make sure you go.

I don't understand the sneaking. If you really must, then show your manager the hospital appointment letter.

I agree, tell the truth. Say I've had Dentist appt, they are referring me for an urgent hospital appointment on.....you don't need to tell them why. Say you'd rather not say till you know for sure.

I may be being a bit dim, what's the link between chewing gum on one side of the mouth to what the Dentist saw?

I also don't understand the problem, why do you feel you need to justify having the biopsy.

And why would someone make you tell them your private medical details, there's an issue right there. How rude are they?

You are massively over thinking this (out of kindness I am sure). you need to put your health first.

I know someone whose dentist made a similar urgent referral, with good reason it turns out. Don't minimise this - attend your appointment & have the biopsy. Tell your head the reason so you can have the time off.

Another one who's confused!
As a teacher, you just fill in the necessary form for absence. Some schools ask for a little more info than others (where I am it would be just 'medical appt.' I would imagine all schools have the same expectation that anything non urgent is arranged out of school hours, so it's implicit that your appt is an urgent one. The info is confidential and only those who need to know will see the form.

I can't see the relevance at all of your colleague also having investigations.

Although you seem keen to downplay it, the dentist knows what he's talking about and you need this checked. Hopefully all will be fine, but it sounds as though in the past you've been a smoker and the risks from tobacco will be in the dentists mind. Just go, don't overthink it

I do see your point here - the absence person at my school is horribly indiscreet and insists on knowing the ins and outs of what is wrong when you ring in: we're not allowed to say 'ill', we have to list symptoms.

But you need to have the appointment. Urgent appointment which can't be rearranged should cover it.

Just say "need some follow up work done after my dental appt" and thats it surely?