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AIBU?

To question my babies name

55 replies

Christinedonna · 09/07/2017 23:19

Il try and keep it short and sweet even though I could go on for days! I have a 10mo DD, she has her dads surname. Me and him were together up until a few weeks ago when I found out I was pregnant, as I wouldn't have an abortion like I told me to he doesn't want to be with me anymore. I've had a scan for this pregnancy, told him about it and he didn't ask how it went, If he could come, nothing- showed no interest. He has made it clear how much he doesn't want this baby. I'm only 7 weeks so I know it's early days and he could change his mind but as it stands, I have one child with his surname and am very confused as to what I should do about this baby's name. I don't particularly want it having his name if he doesn't care about it/want to see it but then I don't want my children having different surnames! WWYD?

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Christinedonna · 10/07/2017 11:17

I think I've got the advice I was looking for now so will just forget this post. Thank you x

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Lemonnaise · 10/07/2017 13:57

I changed my DDs name without seeing a solicitor. Legally she still has her fathers name but she's registered everywhere under my surname. School, doctors, hospital. No-one questioned me on this or said I needed his permission.

She can have a known as name but official documents would have to have the name on her birth certificate, passport, school exam papers, driving licence, bank account etc.


I said 'legally' she still has her fathers surname. She is known by my name in everyday life. No-one uses her legal surname.

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Patriciathestripper1 · 10/07/2017 14:21

britt I wasn't quoting directly from my Dd change of name deed! But just the gist of it.
Ok so not 5 mins but was done in under a week. It's a simple change of name deed.

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WomblingThree · 10/07/2017 20:02

Brittbugs80 what you are missing is that you don't have to do a deed poll to change a child's name, which is why you don't need permission.

My kids have my husband's surname. If tomorrow I decide I want them to go by my surname, I just inform people like the doctor, school, friends, etc that's what is happening. From then on, they will be known as as recognised by their new name. As long as none of this is an attempt to defraud or mislead anyone, it's all perfectly above board and you don't need anyone's permission.

A friend of mine did this after she split from her abusive ex. Her children wanted to take her maiden name so they did. Their "father" still referred to them by their old name, but it just made him look like a dick.

When they are grown up and they need passports or driving licences or other official documents, they can do the legal name change, but until then, it's not an issue.

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Aquathest · 10/07/2017 21:03

Christinedonna - good luck with your pregnancy and I hope you and XP come to an amicable resolution over how to raise your DD and new baby once s/he arrives.
If further down the line you still want to pursue the name change for DD, I would recommend looking on the GOV.UK website which will always give you most up to date information and legal position on how to go about changing a name legally within the UK.


Wombling- Patricia has stated that she has a change of name deed for her DD and obtained without the permission of her X. This was then accepted by the Passport Office etc. This is different to the scenario that you refer to.
I am as confused as Britt as to how Patricia was able to do so without proving she had permission from the other person with PR.

Patricia - I am not saying that you have not obtained a change of name deed for your DD as obviously you should know what you have or have not done. However I am confused why the requirement of requiring permission of the other parent with PR, to legally change your DD's name, was not raised by your solicitor.

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