To hate this every Friday question?

[Pollyanna9]

"Oh, what are you doing this weekend?". Fair enough of course, but it's the somewhat judgemental look I often seem to get which really bloody annoys me!

I'm SORRY I can't tell you that I'm abseiling on Saturday morning, out with A list celebs on the evening and having a massive roast dinner with my huge fabulous family on the Sunday.

So I just say oh not much what about you? Or this Friday I got asked the question and described a little bit that really, I wouldn't be doing anything. The colleague actually seemed almost offended like I was trying to bring him down by not having something glittery and inspiring to advise him of.

I had to replace a major household appliance 3 days before Xmas which was £2,000 which totally wiped out my savings and also had the added joy of being informed one week before Xmas that my XH would be unable to give me CM as he'd lost his job (that ran for four months in total). I'm trying to get things back on track, spend inordinate amounts of time during every week reviewing and controlling spending. At the weekend I do my laundry, ironing and housework. I have no friends in the area, no family in the area - so I'm really sorry all you people pressing me to tell you something riveting, I can't! Because my weekends aren't like yours clearly are - I don't do anything, I don't go anywhere - you would think people might be prepared to contemplate that not everyone is surrounded by family and mates or even has the money to do fun things of a weekend.

Does anyone else get this strange reaction?

Yep. Dread being asked the question. I'm boring, dull, don't really like doing anything apart from eating chocolate in my pyjamas... but as you say, people don't like those answers!

I'm not usually doing anything exciting at the weekend either but I'm flattered that people ask and I never think it's because they want to show off their plans.

I think they're just making chitchat, OP, and no one really expects the answer to be anything other than usual weekend routines and chores.

Sod's law, you can guarantee that the weekend you ARE doing something interesting and unusual, they don't ask!

I get a bit of this. I laugh at how boring I can make my life sound.
Laundry, mow the lawn, try to recover from hard week at work, sweep the kitchen floor... They shouldn't ask if they can't cope with those answers.

I just say 'nothing much' or 'having a rest' or 'not a lot'. Not in a miserable way, just because that's what most of my weekends are like.
Still, I don't do small talk much so don't usually get asked!

"Jack shit, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I've done all the fucking about I want to do in life so now it's chill time."

Repeat as often as necessary.

Perhaps be the first one to ask the question next Friday? Ask them first so they can tell you they're plans. When they ask back you can give the. 'oh not much same as usual' but the conversation won't be so stilted because they've done more of the talking.
Then on Monday ask about their weekend.
Sounds like they want to be friends but are stuck for conversation starters and when you don't give much to go on they feel thwarted in their conversation attempts.

"Trying not to murder my children" is my default response. Or, try "Pot noodle and a wank".

I usually say 'Nothing planned really, just the usual, how about you?'
O the Monday I say "Lovely thanks/Just the usual stuff. How about you?"

I rarely plan anything for my weekends, so I just take it as it comes. It can be more exciting that way anyway. Not today of course, I'm sat here doing nothing much 😄 I don't mind telling people that.

Lockedout - I don't mind them asking, it's polite and a fairly sensible question on a Friday, sadly they aren't happy with the answers they're given! And I don't think they're trying to show off their plans (their plans are often pretty mundane anyway) but they always seem disappointed with what I say back to them (regardless of tone or content!).

Milk I like your style!

Bungaloid At the same time (the pot noodle and the wank)??

SarahJane I don't mind having naff all to do - actually, I just look forward at the weekends to lolling about on the sofa watching box sets and in the case of today, starting my Self Assessment [shudder]. Yes, it's exciting times here.

'Pot noodle and a wank". lol!

"I'm having a very quiet weekend and I'm really looking forward to it!"

Pollyanna is my weekend twin

Chuckling my socks off at the Pot Noodle

Livin' the dream Buckinghambae!

bungaloid I love it

Like you, OP, I don't have friends or family close by so if I want to arrange arrange anything with them, it costs money and a long time travelling by public transport - which I don't particularly feel up to after a long tiring week at work.

I am just honest and say I will be relaxing at home, catching up on my part time studies and a few chores. I am also saving money for a holiday, so no doubt I will have plenty of stories to bore them to death with for a good few months afterwards

We're like that - mainly because DD is on the spectrum and needs quite a bit of quiet downtime. DH and I both work full time and weekends are for things like doing the laundry, DIY type stuff. We do go out & do things, but I find that more than 2 busy weekends in a row leads to stress & illness, so I deliberately keep things quiet.

We also have no family nearby, and I don't always feel sociable at weekends. I'm a teacher and get enough noise during the week. I think I'd go crazy if my weekends were packed full of 'stuff' going on as well.

You realise it's just small talk and no-one really cares what you are doing on a weekend, right?

The colleague actually seemed almost offended like I was trying to bring him down by not having something glittery and inspiring to advise him of

You are entirely imagining this. Seriously, stop thinking you can mind read people, especially if this is what you think you read!

Yes I was asked this question on Friday and had to stop and think, and just said "Nothing really, just chilling" and the person who asked me just sighed and said "That sounds like heaven!"

So just because people are doing loads of shit doesn't mean they wouldn't rather be eating chocolates on the sofa watching Poirot etc.

I used to work with a woman who asked this every Friday and the answer was always the same "I work weekends". I had Wednesdays and Thursdays off but for some reason she was utterly uninterested in what I did on Wednesdays and Thursdays.

Why don't you say that you're into dogging?

I've been told I'm not inclusive because I don't talk about what I did at the weekend - but no one's asked, and I didn't think they would be fascinated to hear about the loads of laundry, vacuuming, bathroom cleaning, supermarket and other excitements that usually make up my weekends. I haven't deliberately withheld it, it's just no one has asked. Anyway, HR says I am not obliged to talk about what I do out of work, because yes, it has gone that far.

The fact I now feel under attack about it doesn't make me feel any more inclined to talk about it - quite the opposite. And I still don't actually know who complained, just that "someone" has. If they really care, they could just ask. It's all very strange.

Then every Monday: "what did you do at the weekend?"

I usually say 'Nothing planned really, just the usual, how about you?'
O the Monday I say "Lovely thanks/Just the usual stuff. How about you?"
^ This

I had a day off on Friday, and waited in for the BT man, who neer showed up. Meanwhile, I washed every darn thing that I could lay my hands on because yesterday DH disconnected the washing machine so that he could take up (ie CUT UP) the utility room floor (it is collapsing and the insurance company say we are not covered ). I hid in our bedroom, having a clear out of my clothes, because the dust went EVERYWHERE!!! (despite sealing up doors etc). So today we are clearing up the mess and he is replacing joists. Weekends also mean several visits to support PIL who both have dementia. You can't really discuss the reality of that except with other people who are experiencing dealing with dementia - they think you are exaggerating.

So, no A-list celebs here, no meeting friends, no abseiling.
Hence why I go for the anodyne, all-purpose phrases above.

Is it maybe bothering you more than it's bothering them, OP? If you are happy with your quiet weekends, its none of their business. If you are not happy however, then, in the nicest possible way, you need to address that. I get that money is tight and that is stressful, but I'm afraid it's up to you how you respond to your own situation.

Hoping for brighter times ahead for you, OP.

Why don't you say that you're into dogging?

I have considered developing a wild (fictional) weekend life of swingers' parties fuelled by illegal drugs. More interesting than the reality of laundry and housework.