To hate this every Friday question?

[Pollyanna9]

"Oh, what are you doing this weekend?". Fair enough of course, but it's the somewhat judgemental look I often seem to get which really bloody annoys me!

I'm SORRY I can't tell you that I'm abseiling on Saturday morning, out with A list celebs on the evening and having a massive roast dinner with my huge fabulous family on the Sunday.

So I just say oh not much what about you? Or this Friday I got asked the question and described a little bit that really, I wouldn't be doing anything. The colleague actually seemed almost offended like I was trying to bring him down by not having something glittery and inspiring to advise him of.

I had to replace a major household appliance 3 days before Xmas which was £2,000 which totally wiped out my savings and also had the added joy of being informed one week before Xmas that my XH would be unable to give me CM as he'd lost his job (that ran for four months in total). I'm trying to get things back on track, spend inordinate amounts of time during every week reviewing and controlling spending. At the weekend I do my laundry, ironing and housework. I have no friends in the area, no family in the area - so I'm really sorry all you people pressing me to tell you something riveting, I can't! Because my weekends aren't like yours clearly are - I don't do anything, I don't go anywhere - you would think people might be prepared to contemplate that not everyone is surrounded by family and mates or even has the money to do fun things of a weekend.

Does anyone else get this strange reaction?

I might now claim to plan spend my weekend in a corner rocking with suspicion and paranoia, next time my workmates ask

My team are all younger than me and are always up to exciting stuff. I don't tell them that 50% of my waking weekends is spent working. They can deal with that crap if I don't toughen them up enough to not follow in my stoopid footsteps. I hope I'm doing a good enough job to make sure that doesn't happen.

That said,one of them responded to the question with "ooh we went to VegFest" recently. He's married to a staunch vegan, at that point I wondered if I didn't have the better weekend!

I know how you feel!

My ds is autistic and some weekends literally can't cope with doing anything - so we don't!
Some weekends we are actually busy (swimming gala/ race for life and swim training this weekend).

Next we will probably be at home as it will catch up with him!

I like these conversations if they give me ideas - there are usually lots of free daytime things to do with kids...

However "a relaxing weekend chilling out with the kids/ in the garden/ at home" is a perfectly positive, respectable thing to have planned isn't it?

Mostly people actually want to talk about what they've done, so are happy if you say something mundane and ask about them...

Although it would be more amusing to say something very left field, totally deadpan, or invent an utterly ridiculous/ unlikely new hobby or interest and pretend to be very excited about it...

Well Worra I may be the most uninteresting person there but I'd still like them to talk to me 😉

Why do you feel judged though? I always ask, partly because it seems polite, partly cos I get to live vicariously through my child-free colleagues. Frequently they reply with oh I laid around all weekend, mostly slept and watched tv, some say they went hiking or mountain climbing. Either way, I am pretty jealous!

No one cares or judges, surely, it's just interesting, or reasonably pleasant and harmless smalltalk.

Honestly, I see this question as an opportunity to, well, do something interesting at the weekend. I'm not at work and DH has the kids. Frankly I bugger off and do something fun!

So YABU. I always have something fun planned.

However, 'fun' doesn't need to mean 'excessive, unique and expensive'. A person happily saying "I'm going to chill out, make popcorn and watch all four episodes of Castlevania" with a big smile is still giving off an aura of being a nice person who enjoys small things. You can just as easily say "In this weather? Paddling pool in the garden and me sniffing all my lovely air-dried laundry!" and so long as you're conveying joy, it's still a nice answer.

It's not what you say, it's how you say it. Any answer delivered in a doleful tone with sad, downcast eyes is a crap answer.

"I have to go to a party. I don't have a dress and I hate the host. Then I have to give an award to Chris Hemsworth. He's going to hate me. I wish I could just die instead."

So just SMILE and have a little answer prepared in your head ("I'm going to make an EPIC steak and ale pie, I mean seriously, the recipe's as long as my arm and I have to knit the pastry top, but MAN I am excited about it.") and just be happy. They want to see your happiness.