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AIBU?

To keep someone else's cat?

165 replies

Cakeahoy · 09/07/2017 10:18

Or not. I don't know what to do honestly and I'm posting here for traffic.

For the last few weeks there has been a very skinny and timid cat darting into ours and the neighbours house, I'm assuming looking for food.

I didn't feed it, told the dc's that it most likely had an owner and cats are like that.

However I got increasingly concerned when I realised she appeared to be living in our outhouse, and she was getting thinner and more desperate to get in the house.

I asked around the neighbours I could get hold of but no one had any idea whose she was. I checked lost cats posters etc. and she matched none of those I could find in our town.

I went out to get some cat stuff/food and started to feed her.

She hasn't really left since. She's either sunning herself in the garden, rubbing herself around the dc's legs and lying on her back in the living room for her tummy to be tickled. Honestly, she's more like a dog than a cat Grin

We appeared to have adopted an adorable cat without even really meaning to. So yesterday we bought some cat litter/tray and cat bed, toys, scratching post etc. Even talked about getting a new door so we could have a cat flap added.

Then a young boy from the estate told dd yesterday dinner time that he knew the daughter of a couple who are two doors down. He said they had had a skinny black female rescue cat from the RSPCA a couple of months ago.

Now I don't know this couple very well at all. They have been there for a few years but our only interaction has been the wife screaming at my dm to move her fucking car because her moving van couldn't park directly front of her house. And the smell of some strong weed that the dad is very fond of constantly blowing over.

They have a dog that's has never been out for a walk in the four years they've been there that I know of (disabled so I'm here all the time) and sits in their front window barking all day.

They have about twenty (not an exaggeration) chickens in the garden in a pen. It's not a large garden.

So true enough, I'm not predisposed to being fond of them, but I hated the idea of a young girl missing her cat so went round with a picture of Kitty Softpaws according to Puss in aboots mad dd our stolen cat.

I haven't had any answer, though I can see they are in. I tried looking at the back of their house last night to see if there were any lights on but there weren't when I looked.

I'm going to have to return her aren't I? If I take her to the vets she'll probably be microtagged and they can call them.

I don't want to though. I keep thinking about how she seemed to be getting skinnier and more desperate and how content (and less skinny) she looks now.

OP posts:
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mummymummums · 09/07/2017 23:27

She should be scanned - she might be a well loved and missed cat of someone else, not these neighbour's.
Cats do get in vans or get lost so before feeding her she should have been checked. Cats with certain illnesses such as kidney disease can be think but need a special diet. If course though they'll keep coming to a house that feeds 'normal' food. Not saying this is the case but always should check for chip before feeding a cat.
If she is the neighbour's, they'll get her back but inevitably she'll return to you as she seems to have decided that!

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mummymummums · 09/07/2017 23:28

*thin not think

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MoonfaceAndSilky · 10/07/2017 23:35

Did you take her to the vets? Was she microchipped? Was she the neighbours cat? Are you keeping her? Soooooo many questions ConfusedGrinWink

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Orangebird69 · 10/07/2017 23:43

Take it to be scanned. If there's no chip, it's a sign. Take it home a love it forever. The end.

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kali110 · 11/07/2017 15:41

not all cats are chipped.
Does not mean that a family are not missing them Confused

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HipsterHunter · 11/07/2017 15:46

not all cats are chipped
Does not mean that a family are not missing them

Then maybe they should put up some missing cat photos, or should have been responsible cat owners and had it chipped.

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DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 11/07/2017 15:51

I agree Hipster

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steppemum · 11/07/2017 16:06

we lost our cat. She vanished for 4 months, then out of the blue turned up, thin, ill and covered in ticks. we never found out what happened in the time in between.

But in the days before microships, a cat adopted my Grandparents. A small very thin older cat just turned up in the garden one day. She was very friendly and when the door was left open she just moved in.

Vet reckoned she had been living wild for a very long time, but was orignally a pet. he was getting old and couldn't hunt any more so had adopted my grandparents.

Lovely little thing she was.

I don't think all cats have an owner somewhere, and the OPs story is quite different from the cats with 4 homes type stories.

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Floralnomad · 11/07/2017 16:41

I would say you are a fairly irresponsible cat owner if you have not chipped your cat .

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MsMims · 11/07/2017 17:13

What happened @Cakeahoy ?

Hipster they may have put up posters, the cat could be miles from where it first went missing.

All of our pets are microchipped (including rabbits!) but there's lots of reasons why a cat wouldn't be, and that doesn't automatically make their owners irresponsible or unworthy of owning a pet.

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Fletchasaurus · 11/07/2017 19:33

Any news?

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MsJudgemental · 11/07/2017 19:39

RSPCA microchip and do a home visit. If he has come from a few doors down he is unhappy and wants to live with you. Do check, though, as ours went missing for nearly 2 weeks and turned up 5 miles away living in bushes in someone's garden and was very thin.

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Cakeahoy · 11/07/2017 22:23

Hi all Sad

She is microchipped, and it is to my neighbours. We took her round and their dd was so happy, though parents were not really bothered.

She came straight back round to our back door when they let her out. DH said we'll start a war as if we keep letting her in she will just stay again. I agree that I don't want to upset their dd though if I'm being completely honest and probably unfairly judgemental, I wouldn't want to live their either, the noise from the dog alone would run me off

She is still sat out there by our outhouse. It's breaking my heart.

OP posts:
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DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 11/07/2017 22:25

I would just feed her,she's unhappy and not getting what she needs from her owners. Happy cats don't move out.

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TheLongRider · 11/07/2017 23:29

She will just stay with you. One of mine moved in with me even though he lived four doors down. We spent weeks taking him back but we wouldn't even reach our gate when he'd come skipping back to us.

She will move in with you, she's evidently not happy with her original owners even if their daughter is pleased to see her. Well done in checking her microchip but I think she will be your cat.

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fannydaggerz · 12/07/2017 00:07

If it was me, I would get the chip checked and if it turned out to be the neighbours cat, I would pay the £17 to get the chip changed to my name and address.

Keep the cat.

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GlitteryFluff · 12/07/2017 00:28

I think this is one of those things where she may be on paper their cat but she isn't in reality. She'll spend more and more time with you until she never leaves. Just carry on caring for her, loving her, feeding her, someone needs to.

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GardenGeek · 12/07/2017 00:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TamzinGrey · 12/07/2017 00:49

I feel your pain. We were once in an identical situation. We kept taking her back to them but she'd always return. She wasn't being treated well which is why she so desperately wanted to move in with us. In the end we asked them bluntly whether they would let us have her. They ummed and ahhed for a bit and then finally said yes. Oh happy day that was. She was an old girl but had five glorious years being spoiled rotten by us. We loved her to bits.

Just ask them .... you never know Smile

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Floralnomad · 12/07/2017 00:50

Go ahead with your plan to get your own cat OP and still just look after this one as well , cats ultimately decide where they want to live and as long as you give her the access to go outside and hence go home I can't see that you are doing much wrong.

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Clandestino · 12/07/2017 00:57

Why don't you ask them straight away if you can keep her? If you feel like she's mistreated, drop hints about checking with the RSPCA on the condition she's in. Blackmail but hey, you want her, she wants you so fuck it.
Cats choose their owners. Mine chose us.

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LeakyLittleBoat · 12/07/2017 01:05

Your DH is being unreasonable. How will they know you've let her in unless you tell them? Just go on as you were before, they'll be none the wiser by the sound of it. It's not like you're keeping her trapped in your house, she's free to come and go as she pleases. She needs love and food and you've got plenty of both.

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LondonLassInTheCountry · 12/07/2017 01:42

Youve done your bit.

She doesnt like her "home"

Let her stay with you, she misses you

Poor thing

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SabineUndine · 12/07/2017 03:40

Looks as though the cat has voted with its paws anyway, probably because of the dog noise. This is something they do if their home doesn't suit them. As you've taken her home once, your neighbours know where to find her. I'd wait and see if they come looking for her. Their daughter can always visit if the parents agree you can adopt the cat.

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Toffeelatteplease · 12/07/2017 04:20

You would be a really horrible person to "keep" her.

My cat didn't start wandering until a neighbour started feeding him because "he looked so desperate" and was so friendly. Chicken and nice stuff he wasn't allowed at home. So wonder he shifted loyalties shifted. I didn't want to argue with them because I didn't want to source neighbourly relations and afterall he's a cat right?

Only I had a daughter at home who was devastated. So was dealing with a few loses so knowing her cat didn't want to come back was devastating to her.

Worse was the fact he used to eat whatever with them and come home to throw it up here. Our food didn't taste as good but it was better for him. I told them that and at they point they said they stopped feeding him chicken. I'm guessing that's when he abandoned them too.

. He'd learnt how to get food when he wanted it but that was about it, they were most upset. He's mostly feral 6 months of the year, but returns home when the weather gets cold. We have tears from DD whenever he goes despite the fact he has done this several years now.

The feralness is because neighbours fed a cat who wasn't theirs causing much upset. You haven't done a good thing at all

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