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Original poster

To make a speech at my wedding?

55 replies

gingerbreadkid · 08/07/2017 08:24

Getting married to my DP soon, for info we have 2 young children and have been together 5 years. It's a small and informal affair though still following the "traditional" wedding day I guess.

The groom, my dad and the best man will be doing a speech.

I've been musing over doing a speech too, mainly to talk about how wonderful DP is Grin

It struck me that everything is really all about the bride. When we got engaged DP said you know, not one person has shook my hand or anything. He wasn't looking for lots of attention but just for someone to acknowledge in some small way that he got engaged too. Generally speaking it's a lot of pressure on the man - how did he propose to you, what's the ring like, did he choose it himself etc etc. Then it's all about the dress and bridesmaids the list goes on and a lot of time the man gets "forgotten" about IMHO.

When it comes to the speech I know he'll speak from the heart and be very lovely and I thought it would be nice to do the same for him.

But I'm nervous Grin I'm no wallflower and it's a small wedding but it's making me anxious! I tend to waffle also... And I'll probably go bright red when I sit down! Also not entirely sure what to say!! Obviously I would have a good think about it beforehand.

Looking for different opinions really to see what others think of the bride making a speech? And if you did, what kind of thing did you say? Did it go down well?

OP posts:
BallOrAerosol · 08/07/2017 08:26

I did . I thanked everyone who helped out and especially those who had travelled from overseas to be there. I think it went down well, nobody seemed to think it was odd, and if they did, so what! It is your wedding, arrange the speeches how you like.

Saiman · 08/07/2017 08:27

My mum did a speech back in the early 90s.

If there is something you want to say, wrote down what you want to say. Then keep going back to it and editing it.

If you dont want to do it, dont.

Babypythagorus · 08/07/2017 08:27

Of course you should. I will never understand weddings where the father of the bride speaks for him and his wife, and the groom speaks for him and his wife, and the women sit quietly, not needing or wanting to speak for themselves.

fizzicles · 08/07/2017 08:27

Definitely do a speech. I got married 10 years ago and didn't, but if we were doing it again today I totally would. It seems v weird to me that in 2017 we still expect only the men to make speeches at a wedding.

Elmo230885 · 08/07/2017 08:28

Its your wedding, do what makes you both happy. Its a little sad that weddings (and having a child) seems to be all about the woman so it will be nice for your DP to know he is appreciated

Thegiantofillinois · 08/07/2017 08:28

I did. Mine was funnier. It was about how we met and how we muddle along. Was 12 years ago, so bit hazy. Didn't h ave best man and think my dad just said a couple of bits.

Herbpatch · 08/07/2017 08:31

I'm not sure I've ever been to a wedding where the bride didn't make a speech, unless there were no speeches.

CeeCeeEnnEss · 08/07/2017 08:31

I did, and so did my maid of honour.

eurochick · 08/07/2017 08:31

I did. We didn't really do speeches as such but my husband and I both did short speeches with thank yous. The bit about how wonderful he is sounds a bit cringy though...

His friends sound a bit shit. We just had two male colleagues at work get engaged and they have had lots of congratulations and questions about the wedding planning.

AllTheWittyNamesAreGone · 08/07/2017 08:31

My colleague did!
Her husband had no one to be on the top table.
He lost his mum,dad and three siblings to a fire during childhood and his best friend died if cancer a few years before and he would of been best man.
All the planning is geared to the bride or based around family, it was making him very sad but he ploughed on.

The speech was a beauty and I think it made the wedding. She spoke about his family and friend, making them part of of the wedding. Everyone was crying good tears.

Notabadger · 08/07/2017 08:33

I did! My two tips would be- if there is something you want to make sure gets mentioned check with your partner about who will say it, one of the stories I thought would be nice to share got missed because each though the other was saying it!
And don't leave your notes in the hotel room! (It was fine in the end!)
Weddings are the most friendly audience ever

Bumdishcloths · 08/07/2017 08:43

I did - albeit a very short one. But short was fine, I just wanted to thank everyone for coming, and big up DH for being super Wink

Hobbitch · 08/07/2017 08:51

Do it. I did one, mostly because we're a bilingual couple and I wanted to thank my relatives and friends in my own language - but also because it mattered to me to say something! It was my wedding! The only other speeches we had were my husband and the best man. Have a wonderful wedding!

Hobbitch · 08/07/2017 08:54

Oh and I was at a wedding the other week and the bride gave a lovely speech. They seem to become more of a thing and that's good!

CluelessMummy · 08/07/2017 08:55

Why not? It's your wedding! If you're afraid you might waffle though, write it down and practice a few times. The best speeches are short speeches so don't feel like you have to say anything lengthy. I'm sure your DH to be will appreciate it.

Trills · 08/07/2017 08:55

Do it"

You are not just a pretty face in a white dress, you are a person with opinions and a voice.

HarryBiscuit · 08/07/2017 08:58

Do it. Been to countless weddings where I only hear men speak. Tedious. The women that do speak make shorter speeches (good because you get to the food quicker!) and often funnier ones, ime.

honeysucklejasmine · 08/07/2017 08:59

Yep, I did. My bridesmaid did too.

Tilapia · 08/07/2017 09:01

I did!

TheQueenSnortsAvocados · 08/07/2017 09:02

I did. It was quite short as it was the last one. I told a very funny joke, echoed thanks and (unlike my cousin) managed not to yell at everyone, "Now let's get fucking pissed!"

To be clear, I have no issue with my cousin's sentiment, but it was still early, and there were a lot of small children present.

Marmelised · 08/07/2017 09:05

I did, back in the 80s. I've never sat back and let men speak for me in daily life, why would I on such an important event?

WarmFeetAreLovely · 08/07/2017 09:06

If you waffle, have the entire speech written out, then practice practice practice. Then have bullet point notes on a single card.
I'm making a short speech at our wedding soon. The first line and the last are crucial so I've written them out in full. The middle bit can be freestyle

TheFlis12345 · 08/07/2017 09:08

I'm going to. There are some massive thank yous to be said to certain people and I don't need anyone else to speak for me and make them. I will cry though!

bigbadbarry · 08/07/2017 09:09

I didn't, because I go to pieces if too many people look at me, and have a tendency to cry if I feel emotional (cried through the vows but in a good way). I'm bad enough now but I was 24 when I got married and couldn't have coped. I absolutely would make myself these days though! It is a bit odd, all the women sitting there and being spoken about.

Freya84 · 08/07/2017 09:19

I did. I suffer with panic attacks and anxiety but did it anyway so I could put the spotlight on my husband and also, to prove to myself that I could do it. I wrote it out, practiced and breathed. I put in a few jokes (nothing rude) and it went down well. Mainly because most people didn't expect me to able to do such a thing and non of them had been to a wedding where the bride made a speech. I'm glad I did it, even though I was terrified!

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