I have a friend who is beautiful and successful. But I feel she always has to be better than me.
I’ve known her a few years now but since she got her new job it has got worse. I feel that she is very competitive and always competing with everything I say/putting me down/making sure she gets one up on me.
A few examples.
I got a job in the same field as her but her job is in a more prestigious company. We earn practically the same though. She keeps going on about how proud she is of getting a job where she got it and feels she is now set for life.
When I discuss the duties of my job she ALWAYS has to come out with a comment about how she has already done that when training. So if I said my job entails writing x reports I will get’ oh yes I did that when I was training’.
Today she told me her starting salary was really high and then proceeded to ask me what mine was (knowing it was likely much lower).
When I told her what my rent is she proceeded to inform me that where she lives rent would be much higher than that and I’m lucky to live in a cheaper area.
When I discussed my schooling she informed me she went to private school.
When I was training she kept on asking me when I was graduating and I think it was because she wanted to finish before me.
She asked me what working time I do and informed me her job has shorter working hours than mine.
There’s too many examples to name but I just feel that she looks down on me and my job, she has to be better than me. She has to make a competitive and arrogant comment in response to everything I say, particularly about my job. So I told her just that. In response she apologised if she had offended me but has not spoken to me since. I gave her my honest opinion in a restaurant while we were going for food and she changed the subject shortly after and gave me a hug goodbye. No sign of a falling out.
I spoke to our mutual friend about this and he said he felt that my reaction to her comments was more a reflection on my self esteem and opinions about myself and my job. than her trying to compete with her. He said he agreed she was proud of her achievements and did discuss her accomplishments but didn’t see why she shouldn’t be as she is a successful woman. He said that the comments she makes are purely facts and it is my interpretation that she is trying to be ‘better’ than me or compete with me. He did agree she was competitive to an extent, but felt this was a healthy competition and what he would consider normal. I got a job before her after graduating, I didn't make a fuss about it as I knew she was struggling to get work. I am sure if the tables were turned she would have been rubbing it in my face that she had a job.
AIBU to think all this about her? I know you do not know her or me so it’s hard to say, but based on what I’ve written here.