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AIBU?

To be upset by this disabled mans behaviour?

143 replies

Greeeeenjuice · 07/07/2017 10:25

I work in a shop which is in a reasonably historic town, most shops are about 100 years old. We have a few steps leading up to our shop, there is no ground floor access

We have a glass front, and just now I heard a huge bang; almost hard enough to crack the glass. I went outside to find a man in a wheelchair, no bother, usually we have a chat outside and I go in to fetch their products. I am polite and help as much as I can.

But today all this man wanted to do was shout at me in front of loads of people about how we didn't provide for disabled people. I was really shocked. It isn't even my shop. Turned out he only wanted to check for a bit of lost property which we didn't have.

He then sped away and left me on the side of the road with a crowd of people watching. I think some of them think I'd been horrible to him.

AIBU to think this is not appropriate? A colleague thinks I am- that he had a right to be annoyed. Confused

OP posts:
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PurityOfChaos · 08/07/2017 09:53

Pagwatch I agree with you about cluttered shops, I am more inclined to walk out empty handed than struggle past stands and other customers. My OH is a wheelchair user and we avoid cluttered shops where possible, Savers is a particular bug bear where they clutter already tight aisles.

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MrsJayy · 08/07/2017 10:03

I sometimes don't go in shops because of that pagwatch if displays leave little space for walking (my balance is to pot ) then I can't go in

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Pagwatch · 08/07/2017 10:06

Two words :
Clare's Accesories.

I'd rather chew my arm off than fight my way in there. DD never stood a chance.

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Andrewofgg · 08/07/2017 10:14

Sorry Sirzy my misunderstanding.

Pagwatch You made your business decision and others make theirs.

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WomblingThree · 08/07/2017 10:19

manicinsomniac you said I love tiny, cobbled little market towns with cute, cluttered shops - but now I really want to go round one in a wheelchair (I won't of course, that would be really disrespectful) and see how impossible it must be

Believe me, it wouldn't be remotely disrespectful. In fact, I would happily lend you my spare chair and encourage you to do this. If even one able bodied person made such an effort to put themselves is my place I would be over the moon, not offended.

BeepBeepMOVE wow thanks for that insightful comment.

Sirzy Card Factory? See also The Works.

The main issue I have is not with "quirky" little specialist shops, as I can't afford to shop in them anyway, or historic monuments, as I don't go to them. It's with large multinationals or chain shops. They have no excuse for not making their stores accessible to all. It's not just wheelchair users, it's shops that are too dark or too cluttered for the partially sighted, shops that are too garish and blasting loud music for the people with sensory issues. Shops that have multi-million pound turnovers should be welcoming to everyone.

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Pagwatch · 08/07/2017 10:21

Andrewfogg Yes of course.
But I wasn't the one pretending my business choice was a logistical imperative. That was you.

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Bumdishcloths · 08/07/2017 10:23

Disability, regardless of type, doesn't give you a free dickhead pass.

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PurityOfChaos · 08/07/2017 10:32

OP how many dickheads do you encounter during your working day, do you start threads about all of them?

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Pagwatch · 08/07/2017 10:33

Yes PurityOfChaos

It's odd isn't it. I dealt with several dickheds last week but no threads about them.

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Pagwatch · 08/07/2017 10:55

FWIW I'm aware I'm banging on about this but I get irritated by Shop owners trying to use the genuine situations where creating an accessible environment is impossible as an excuse to just not give a shit.
If you make the business decision that you don't care if your premises is accessible then don't hide behind excuses.

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regrouted · 08/07/2017 11:22

I don't see the relevance in citing that unless you are a Thatcherite ideologue and perhaps that explains your thinking behind the strange butcher hypothetical.

I think you are being overtly obtuse. I've been quite clear that I'm talking about the everyday experience of a disabled person (namely a wheelchair user) accessing goods, services, facilities, transport and interacting with proprietors or staff across those areas that are not their friends and family. I think it's evident across my posts, that society has been defined as a collection of people living within a shared geographical location (the UK) under a shared political authority (central and local government). This thread hasn't been a multidisciplinary academic exercise in reductionism, in dissecting the social model of disability, or the medical sociologist's positioning of disability, or the unpicking of the disabled person in the private and public sphere in a postmodernist global economy.

I've discussed that government legislation exists to protect and promote the rights of disabled people through the Equality Act and the UK's adherence to the United Nations Convention on disability rights, yet still access and inclusivity is abysmal. I've positioned that I think that is the case because disabled people are still considered lesser than an able bodied person (which disabled people are compared to in assessing their value) in our society and therefore their needs and rights are not met because profit is more important. Again, the burden of enforcing the Act cannot solely be on the individual disabled person.

In light of the above, are you actively trying to be facetious by suggesting that your capital S society needs to legislate the right for disabled people to have a local butcher - not that if there is a butcher/baker/candlestick maker it should be made accessible if reasonable adjustment is feasible? You are suggesting that legislation enshrines that if the local butcher close, another one should be established within reasonable proximity to where a disabled person lives.. This is like when an undergraduate student sits silent for the entirety of the debate, only to chip in at the last minute with "well, I'm going to use an entirely different framework and definition of terms and summon an alternate reality just so I can have the last word of HA GOTCHA!".

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ShowMePotatoSalad · 08/07/2017 11:27

He has a right to complain about the fact that the shop is not accessible for wheelchair users. I would find it undignified waiting outside while someone gets things for me. I would like to do things for myself.

It may not be your shop but you are the representative of the shop so you need to handle complaints rather than believing it not to be your problem.

On the other hand he shouldn't have shouted or been rude to you.

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QuiQuaiQuod · 08/07/2017 16:46

and BTW I can turn into a real dickhead too, Im in 24/7 constant pain, and after the 10th or so shop/bus/anything else that I cant access in my wheelchair, or after the 10th or so patronising looking down their noses at- 'retard'shouldnt be allowed to be alive/waste of taxpayers money/benefit cheat/cant be bothered with you cos youre not important and we get more sales from an able bodied, and stuff you, they can park in your disabled spaces if they want to as long as they shop in our place -areshole customer/cashier/shop assistant (Let me empahise not everyone does this!) maybe that man was in the same situation and couldn't take any more.

I still cant believe the disablists on here.

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WomblingThree · 08/07/2017 17:37

I can QuiQuaiQuod and it's because no one will challenge them. I've tried a couple of times, but I just get ignored. Course, it helps that it's a well-known poster who is the main culprit.

There is no way on earth MN would let racist or homophobic comments stand, but disabled people have to put up with it.

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Pagwatch · 08/07/2017 17:43

Who is the well known poster who is the main culprit?

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WomblingThree · 09/07/2017 12:23

Andrewofgg

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Pagwatch · 09/07/2017 14:12

Ah, ok.
Well nothing on this thread that makes me argue with that.

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QuiQuaiQuod · 10/07/2017 13:35

There is no way on earth MN would let racist or homophobic comments stand, but disabled people have to put up with it

^^this.

and I had it with ndns last night too, and I cant report them as police don't take disablist crime seriously.

No one cares.

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