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AIBU?

To be upset by this disabled mans behaviour?

143 replies

Greeeeenjuice · 07/07/2017 10:25

I work in a shop which is in a reasonably historic town, most shops are about 100 years old. We have a few steps leading up to our shop, there is no ground floor access

We have a glass front, and just now I heard a huge bang; almost hard enough to crack the glass. I went outside to find a man in a wheelchair, no bother, usually we have a chat outside and I go in to fetch their products. I am polite and help as much as I can.

But today all this man wanted to do was shout at me in front of loads of people about how we didn't provide for disabled people. I was really shocked. It isn't even my shop. Turned out he only wanted to check for a bit of lost property which we didn't have.

He then sped away and left me on the side of the road with a crowd of people watching. I think some of them think I'd been horrible to him.

AIBU to think this is not appropriate? A colleague thinks I am- that he had a right to be annoyed. Confused

OP posts:
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hulahooper9876 · 07/07/2017 16:13

There has to be a realistic attitude I'm afraid.

That's appalling. "Oh, you want the same rights as everyone else? Be realistic, there's a good girl"

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QuiQuaiQuod · 07/07/2017 16:20

most disabled people have to deal with 24/7 chronic and constant pain.

try it sometime, able bodied here. tie your legs together and try and walk, or something, its bloody frustrating that theres still not enough done for the disabled, so Im with the guy on this, he had every right to complain.

No it isn't nice to be shouted at, at the end of the day you work there, you don't own the place, but disabled people (and Im one, so is DC) get daily abuse, verbal and otherwise, physical and verbal and mental obstacles to overcome every fucking bloody day, and of all types of people Disabled people ARE entitled to things, are entitled to shops and everything.

Irant this after yet again confronting 3, yes THREE twunts, able bodied twunts taking up disabled parking spaces and then going to the blloody GYM!

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joangray38 · 07/07/2017 16:24

My argument about listed buildings v access then lok at the coliseum in Rome- if they can put a glass lift in any building can be adapted without negatively effecting historical value. It does get massively frustrating not being able to access shops etc, don't you have a portable ramp or a bell so people can ring for help. He shouldn't have yelled but after a few years of struggling you get worn down (and he may not have been a nice person in the first place)

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QuiQuaiQuod · 07/07/2017 16:27

He shouldn't have shouted but it was possibly the straw that broke the camels back

I end up like that too.

and OP why cant you put a ramp that you can take off every evening, and put in the mornings? an unfixed one? Ive seen them around.

as for the disablist posts on this thread.....as me and another poseter have said, go around with a hand in your pocket or tie your legs up or something and then and ONLY then, judge us, if your heart is still in it.

and disability discrimination should be right up there with rascism and the like, its DISCRIMINATION.

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RortyCrankle · 07/07/2017 16:33

There was no need for him to be rude but I can understand his annoyance. There are several shops in my town with no flat access and near my home a row of six shops, all with steps. It is maddening but my philosophy now is I refuse to shop anywhere without access for my mobility scooter. At the end of the day it's the shop's loss.

While we're having a moan I would like to say some choice words to the self entitled plonker who decided to park over the pavement/grass verge which meant I had to turn around to go back to the other end of the pavement to use the ramp to cross the road and then cross back again at the next ramp grrrr.

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MusicForTheJiltedGeneration · 07/07/2017 16:35

Don't go reading more into my comment than there really is @hulahooper9876 especially with the emotive and patronising addition of 'there's a good girl' comment. Rein your outrage in and read things properly.

I was talking about listed buildings where a local council isn't going to allow adaptations to them. That is what I meant by being realistic. Where there aren't such restrictions then obviously there's no good reason not to make suitable adjustments/alterations.

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RhodaBorrocks · 07/07/2017 17:24

The thing is, some shop owners continuously and blatantly ignore the polite requests of disabled people regarding access to their shops. As pp have said, people with mobility needs have just as much right to shop as able bodied people, but some shop owners are too tight to even buy a portable ramp, which retail at around £50 or ft a bell.

Take this example from earlier this year:
www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/disabled-woman-sues-seven-shops-9950161

The poor woman in the article had been contacting shops along that road for 6 years before bringing action. Many bought ramps or installed bells, but some didn't even respond. I heard from a friend of a friend that she has received a lot of abuse from the shop owners she has brought action against. They think she just shouldnt use their shops and should go further out of her way. That's the sort of things disabled people have to do- rack up extra miles because it's easier to get about at a further location.

And then the local councillor woman says "Well I can access them all, so it's fine." FFS! Not all wheelchairs are equal. Some can handle shallow steps, others can't even manage an inch or two.

Another couple of wheelchair users I know are regularly tipped out of their chairs when they are forced to risk mounting kerbs when dropped kerbs are blocked.

Thanks to EDS I've spent time in and out of wheelchairs. It is bloody humiliating to have to sit outside a shop with people's dogs, waiting for the rest of your group, enduring stares and comments from people who think your brain doesn't work. Or trying to tap politely on the window and having a hand held up to tell you to wait until the able bodied are all served first, or worse, just completely ignored.

The ableism on this thread sickens me.

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AgentProvocateur · 07/07/2017 17:31

Me too @RhondaBorrocks, and I don't have a disability. I'm just someone that believes in equality.

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MissionItsPossible · 07/07/2017 17:59

RhodaBorrocks summed it up perfectly.

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OhSoggyBiscuit · 07/07/2017 18:06

There is absolutely no fucking need to shout at somebody for who accessibility isn't even their fault. Try that with me and I would probably burst into tears.

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RortyCrankle · 07/07/2017 18:13

I e-mailed Waterstones last year, pointing out that my local branch has placed tables with book displays so close to the entrance and ones placed in the gaps behind that there was no way for me to access with my mobility scooter. I got a response suggesting I order books from them online. I responded saying browsing in a bookshop was one of the great pleasures in life prior to making a purchase which is exactly what I will be doing but not in Waterstones. No reply and entrance is still blocked.

I am happy not to give them my money.

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WomblingThree · 07/07/2017 18:35

Thanks for the patronising comments MusicForTheJiltedGeneration. We are realistic. It's our bodies that don't work, not our brains.

I understand perfectly well why an old building sometimes can't be made accessible thanks. I've actually worked on wheelchair access policy for two 16th century buildings.

What I expect is to be able to shop in fucking shop, without it being a huge problem to the shop staff. A shop that I can get into in my wheelchair should be accessible once I'm in there. Don't pile shit everywhere. Don't roll your eyes when I ask you to move it. Don't huff and puff when I knock stuff off. Don't sit there throwing my change at me as I'm trying to pack my bag. THE SAME COURTESIES AS AN ABLE BODIED SHOPPER EXPECTS!

I want dickheads who park in disabled spaces or on dropped curbs to THINK and use their eyes or their brains.

I want idiots like Andrewofgg to be jumped on like they would be for being sexist or racist. There is no defence for disablism. You wouldn't tell a black person or a gay person they should shop elsewhere. You wouldn't fucking dare. They can't help being black or gay, we can't help being disabled. We don't do it just to piss the world off you know!

OhSoggyBiscuit, how much of my life do you think I've spent in tears due to losing my job, my independence, my income, my ability to do the things that you do? Think about it.

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Leontine · 07/07/2017 18:43

I can't understand why a mobile access ramp can't be used on a listed building?

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GlitterGlue · 07/07/2017 18:47

Leontine, sometimes the gradient means that a ramp cannot be used safely. Or that the ramp would need to extend into the road because the pavement is very narrow. I've worked in buildings (from the early 1800s) where that would be the case. However, they did have a bell and another nearby building with level access that could be used as an alternative.

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MusicForTheJiltedGeneration · 07/07/2017 18:47

Was I addressing you personally with my comment about being realistic Wombling ? No. It was a general comment about why some buildings can't be made accessible. No need to get arsey with me (seeing as how we are in agreement on the listed buildings issue) whilst ignoring the rest of my post about having a responsibility to make areas accessible to everyone where it is possible.

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PurplePeppers · 07/07/2017 18:48

I actually think the needs of both the disabled people AND the shop assistant shoud be respected.
A disabled person has the right to access shops the same waybthan any other able bodied person.
A shop assistant has the right not to feel threaten when they are working.
Trying to start a game of 'who has it worse' and 'if you had walked a mile in my shoes' won't solve anything at all. In very big part because human experience is complex (e.g. You have no idea of what is the history of the shop assistance and how triggering it would be for that person to be shouted at at their workplace. Just as disabled people will have a very varied experience of being disabled etc...).

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PurplePeppers · 07/07/2017 18:54

Another example is a town near by where ALL the shop are build with a couple of stairs to go in. This is because there is a river near by who used to flood so all houses in the town centre are build higher up for protection. Pavements are what they are and don't allow for a ramp long enough. Shops are small with no other access. And little room for manoeveuring (as in even for myself as an able bodied person, I can find most of them small - with no. Lutter in the way, 2 persons will have to be careful to pass each other. A wheelchair will not be able to fit in there.)

Is it crap? Yes it is.
Is it possible to change everything in the configuration of the town? Honestly, I personally struggle to see how this would be possible.

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Leontine · 07/07/2017 19:01

GlitterGlue Thanks for the clarification.

In that case would there be any way for the building to be made accessible, even if it wasn't listed?

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JacquesHammer · 07/07/2017 19:01

He was not being unreasonable to be upset.

He was absolutely unreasonable to shout at you OP.

To be honest if he had tried that with me I would have just returned into the shop rather than let him berate me on the street for something out of my control

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AwaywiththePixies27 · 07/07/2017 19:08

I dont think he was a twat. Your (generic use of the word) was probably one in a very long line of places he'd tried to access that day/this week, and you just unfortunately get the brunt of it.

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Andrewofgg · 07/07/2017 19:11

Wombling3 Please tell me how a shop with a centre display fixed to the floor and therefore narrow aisles can be as accessible to a wheelchair user as it is to anybody else.

Please tell me how the restaurant I mentioned in a basement in a building with no lift and nowhere to put one can be accessible to a wheelchair user at all.

Please tell me how a retailer is to run a business if the cashier is expected to leave the till and go backwards and forwards to the door.

Please tell us all how the businesses in PurplePepper's town are expected to become accessible.

Please be realistic.

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AwaywiththePixies27 · 07/07/2017 19:12

I was talking about listed buildings where a local council isn't going to allow adaptations to them.

Of course it's possible. One of the favourite places I like the visit is a listed home. They had a lift installed on the outside for disabled people to be able to access the disabled loos.

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AwaywiththePixies27 · 07/07/2017 19:16

Leontine some adaptations just simply cant be made to very old buildings. To put it simply. It's like building a house on sand.

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MusicForTheJiltedGeneration · 07/07/2017 19:33

Are you not contradicting yourself and proving exactly what my comment meant @AwaywiththePixies27 Confused

I was talking about listed buildings where a local council isn't going to allow adaptations to them.

"Of course it's possible. One of the favourite places I like the visit is a listed home. They had a lift installed on the outside for disabled people to be able to access the disabled loos"

Leontine some adaptations just simply cant be made to very old buildings. To put it simply. It's like building a house on sand.

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yourerubberimglue · 07/07/2017 19:42

Get a removable ramp?

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