Aibu to take kids to cinema despite knowing ex wants to do same at weekend?

[JustArandomUser]

Kids have an inset day today, their Mum is supposed to be looking after them this week, but apparently she couldn't get the day off work and asked me to have them instead. I could get the day off no probs so no issues there.

I did have some activities planned but had to shelve them as turns out the giant trampoline place I was going to take them to is shut for refurbishment... So last night I book some tickets to go to the cinema and see Despicable Me 3 instead.

This morning my youngest was having a video chat with his mum, and I caught the tail end of the conversation as I was making breakfast... Upshot is, she has "Just booked the tickets for Despicable Me 3 for Sunday!"

To be totally be fair she did mention that she was interested in taking them a couple of weeks back, but the things she says and the things she does are often quite different so I didn't pay it much attention.

So WIBU to take them to the cinema even though I now know she's planning to do it on Sunday?

Yes

Swap the tickets for another film, especially as she did mention it beforehand.

Yes. Specially as she let you know in advance that she'd "earmarked" that.

Talk to her about it. That's what is in the best interests of your children

Thinking of it from your kids a few points I would swap the tickets. Otherwise a treat will be turned into some sort of bad feeling.

Though, you could give her a quick ring and explain the situation. She might not be that bothered.

Wow I'm surprised by these responses! Most kids I know would be happy to see a good movie twice! But I guess it depends what relationship you have with your ex!

Agree with yukbuck won't they be happy to go twice?
I would probably chat to their mum and see what she thinks. If you put it to her in a positive way she might be totally fine. They get to see the film twice and have popcorn/treats twice, win!

Annoyingly there's nothing else age appropriate for both kids on at the cinema I've booked for... Will have a chat with their Mum and see if we can agree terms in light of the massive favour I'm doing her so she can go to work

Reverse the situation. How would you feel if your ex did that to you and took the children out on a treat you wanted to do with them?

I also don't see a problem with this

I don't see why it would matter if they saw the film twice. And sounds like you booked tickets first anyway.

Massive favour? You mean being a parent?

Or rather, in her shoes I'd maybe be a bit annoyed (although not about that film - I'd be glad to get out of it) but in the circumstances you are looking after the kids for an unplanned day and doing something nice with them. And they'll probably enjoy the film twice.

Speak to their mum. There are loads of places you can take them on a day like this.. the park, the beach, swimming, a country park. Besides the fact that a trampoline centre in this heat would be unbearable. And its supposed to be raining at the weekend.

But if not seeingg the film twice won't be tje end of the world.

Reverse the situation. How would you feel if your ex did that to you and took the children out on a treat you wanted to do with them?

It's happened plenty of times before, usually I just file it under "annoying, but part and parcel of separated parenting". Only this time I have advanced warning of the impending doom lol.

Massive favour? You mean being a parent?
We have a shared care arrangement. I sort childcare when I can't have them and need to be at work, and she does the same. I am doing her a favour by saving her the cost of a childminder or a days unpaid leave... A favour she has previously refused to do for me, but that's a totally new thread lol...

I can't think of a film my DSC have seen at the cinema that they haven't wanted to see again, straight away!

Talk to her and explain.
Also they will be fine, seeing it twice. They can discuss it with both parents!

Can you even swap cinema tix?

So you're point-scoring. Nice.

To be totally be fair she did mention that she was interested in taking them a couple of weeks back, but the things she says and the things she does are often quite different so I didn't pay it much attention

So she said she might do something with them but you ignored it?

It's happened plenty of times before, usually I just file it under "annoying, but part and parcel of separated parenting

Maybe if you managed to communicate and listened to your ex (and maybe vice versa), these things won't happen - and annoying things won't pile up?

Shared parenting is hard - I know - but communication is important. Maybe she was looking forward to taking the kids out and they could all have experienced the film for the first time? If they have already seen it, then maybe she won't be as bothered as watching it with them if they've already seen it?

So you're point-scoring. Nice.

Not sure I am, but if it meets your criteria, I'm ok with that

Anyway I've had a chat with her about it and she's not thrilled, but not the end of the world.

and she's not thrilled

You've probably spoilt a treat she had planned and was looking forward to because you didn't listen to her.

Still, what's done is done..