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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Holiday dog woes - WWYD

43 replies

JulietInJeans · 05/07/2017 09:22

Currently on holiday at my parents v v remote summer cottage with my parents and my two oldest, DD and DS. My sister is coming to visit with her DH and two of her kids today, and as it is a three hour journey each way for them she asked if they could stay the night. As space is at a premium they asked if they could take my room for the night, with me bunking with the kids. No problems, I like my sister and I get to see her and her family very rarely, as they live so far away. I'll bunk with the kids. They're also bringing their dog. No problems, I love dogs. We've got a dog ourselves. However, I asked that they didn't have the dog in my bed, as over the last few years I've developed quite an allergy. Our own dog isn't even allowed upstairs, let alone into our bedroom and bed.

This, however, is where I was told by my mum I am completely unreasonable. How could I expect a dog to sleep on its own for a night when it had always been allowed to sleep in the bed in the past? If it bothered me that much I would just have to bunk in with the kids for the remainder of the holidays (which would be uncomfortable - sharing a small bed with a five year old and a seven year old). While my allergy symptoms isn't life threatening by any means they are enough to make me very uncomfortable indeed - all over itch, burning runny eyes, scratchy throat, blocked nose. Like a massive head cold. I feel trapped in the middle of nowhere, we're a 16 hours drive from home and here's only one car anyway, so I can't even leave in a huff.

AIBU to think dear old mother is putting the comfort of my sister's dog over mine? How can I resolve this without starting WW3 (easily done in my family)?

OP posts:
SpongySand · 05/07/2017 09:29

Can the dog not sleep on a throw on the bed if they insist it being on the bed? Or on a makeshift dog bed on the floor? Then a massive clean when they've gone? Your mother is being unreasonable, to be blunt its fuck all to do with her its between you and your sister.

jellyshoeswithdiamonds · 05/07/2017 09:32

Can your sister bring their own bedding to put on the bed? Plus fleece blanket for the dog to sleep on. Then they hoover through before leaving.

You have my sympathy I suffer with allergies.

Nikephorus · 05/07/2017 09:33

I love dogs & mine gets to hog my bed when she fancies but even I'd say that their dog would be fine sleeping alone for one night, particularly as you have allergies. Can't they bring a blanket or their duvet for it to sleep on - it can sleep on the floor by the bed all cosy in familiar smells. Bring the pillows too! I could understand if you were saying it shouldn't be allowed in the house but you're only talking about in the bed!

BarbarianMum · 05/07/2017 09:40

Wow, what sort of fucked up family dynamic do tou have OP where you rank lower than the dog? Is your dsis ok with this? If so, I'd simply go home.

Barbie222 · 05/07/2017 09:42

Good grief, can't she bring a crate? I'd be annoyed about that.

Marcipex · 05/07/2017 09:46

Your children sleep in your room, you can put their bedding on your floor for one night . sister has the kids room and brings her own bedding in the car.

SunTrapped · 05/07/2017 09:46

YANBU! You're doing a lovely thing by offering your room, just say the dog has to sleep in another room (or your sister and dog can sleep on the sofa!)

MrsJayy · 05/07/2017 09:46

People who think their dogs are people annoy me i love dogs but fgs your sister needs to get a grip I think you should put your foot down about this

HamletsSister · 05/07/2017 09:48

Take the kids in with you and let your sister have the kids' room?

iseenodust · 05/07/2017 10:00

You haven't said what your sister replied, only given your mother's reaction. What has your sister said directly to you?

altiara · 05/07/2017 10:05

Yep sister can go in the bunk beds.

blueskyinmarch · 05/07/2017 10:11

Have you actually spoken to your sister about this? Surely this is something to sort out between you and her and not your mum? You may fond she is quite happy to find a solution to this that works for everyone.

Floralnomad · 05/07/2017 10:11

Just help your sister change the bed and clean the room before she leaves , really can't see the issue , unless you are suggesting that her and her dh/ kids / dog were going to sleep in the bed and you weren't going to put clean sheets on - yuck . I'd rather change some sheets than be kept awake by the dog all night , and my dog would be pretty put out if someone told him he couldn't go to bed , he sleeps in our eldests room ( all double beds) and still expects me to draw the curtains etc if ds is away / out .

TheFaerieQueene · 05/07/2017 10:16

Can't she sleep on the sofa with the dog. I love my dog but she is never on my bed - or upstairs.

BarbarianMum · 05/07/2017 10:21

Yeah right Nomad the person with the allergy should be the one cleaning up the allergens. Makes sense.

Kezi4 · 05/07/2017 10:21

YANBU

AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered · 05/07/2017 10:22

Even if OP changes the sheets there will still be dog hair all over the room. Can't believe anyone could think this is remotely normal! OP you have one crazy mother.

Original poster
JulietInJeans · 05/07/2017 10:26

Sister said that the dog even sleep in the bed with her when they stay at hotels (can't be many hotels happy with that?), and I think she's struggling to understand that not everyone lets their dog into bed with them. There was a implication from both her and my mum that perhaps maybe I was inventing this allergy thing just to be awkward, and that it's a state of mind anyway. I wasn't allergic as a kid, it hit me as an adult (and after we got our own dog, bloody typical), so maybe that's why they think I'm putting it on even though at least my mum has seen me struggling with it in the past.

My sister wants my room as it's up on the main floor and she wants to set up a gate in front of the door so the dog can be in there, separate, but still able to see what is going on around the house and not feel excluded (kids room is down in the basement), that's why she doesn't want me to take my kids in with me while she, her kids, her DH and mutt take the kids room.

I mean, it's only for a night but I know I will suffer as a consequence and it's making me feel grouchy. I am bring made to feel that I'm causing a massive issue over nothing though so what do I know.

OP posts:
Original poster
JulietInJeans · 05/07/2017 10:27

*being

OP posts:
Original poster
JulietInJeans · 05/07/2017 10:30

Should add that my mum is massively set in her ways and can be an enormous harridan, but she's brilliant with the kids and they adore her, which is why we're on this holiday in the first place.

My sister is normally great but she loves this stupid dog pretty much as much as she loves her kids and she's clearly struggling to see some sense. Meh.

OP posts:
StaplesCorner · 05/07/2017 10:32

My dog sleeps on my bed. During holidays at other people's property, hotels or houses whatever, he is in a crate, no discussion. Your DM is being an arse at best.

Babyroobs · 05/07/2017 10:33

To the person who mentioned a crate how ridiculous, you don't put a dog in a crate all night when they are already in an unfamiliar place,. Doesn't sound like the dog is even used to a crate.

Northend77 · 05/07/2017 10:41

does the dog sleep ON or IN the bed as you mention IN the bed in your posts? If its ON the bed then hopefully she can put down a throw or something and it stays on that but if it's IN the bed (apart from that being bloody ridiculous, and this is coming from someone who's dog used to sleep on the bottom of the bed every night!) then all bedding is going to need to be changed completely. Do you think that would be enough to avoid setting off your allergies?

rookiemere · 05/07/2017 10:41

Could you ask your Dsis to bring bedding for the night? I don't know how bad your allergy is but that way at least you wouldn't have to sleep on doggy bedding ( yuck).

HipsterHunter · 05/07/2017 10:43

Wow your family are not very nice.

Can they bring own bedding and blanket for dog so at least your bedding doesn't get doggy?