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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to think that my DD eats far too much for her age (or any)?

96 replies

tequilasontuesdays · 04/07/2017 21:41

For context, breakfast was 3 waffles and 4 muffins followed by intermittent snacking of sugar throughout the day. Her activity level leaves much to be desired and she claims the weather is what causes her to keep eating. My grocery store bill has become incomprehensible and I fear visiting family because of what they may think when they try to feed her. She thinks nothing of polishing off a big steak and continuously complains of hunger pangs directly after her (very large) meals. Her blood tests are all normal but I fear for her current and future health. Granted she is a teen, but isn't this a bit much?

OP posts:
FrancesHaHa · 04/07/2017 22:01

I wouldn't get her to log food into her phone - there's a risk this will cause an obsession with counting calories, which is not going to encourage a healthy relationship with food.

I'd be more inclined just to not have sugary food in the house, and try to distract her with other activities so she's not just thinking about what she wants to eat.

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 04/07/2017 22:02

Oh FGS. Afraid of tantrums but sound like you despise her for her weight, her eating habits and even her friend? Grow up.

Glumglowworm · 04/07/2017 22:03

Please step in now and break the habit! I speak as someone very overweight with years of unhealthy attitude to food, bingeing, secret eating and disordered eating. I don't blame my parents although they inadvertently encouraged certain habits, but I would honestly hate for a 13 year old to end up like me.

Yes there will be tantrums and tears and hateful words, but you're the parent and you need to take control and stop her access to so much junk. She's 13 with limited pocket money, if you don't buy it, she can't eat it. You need to act now because in a few years she can earn her own money and buy whatever junk she wants, you have to act while you still have control over what food is available.

SuperBeagle · 04/07/2017 22:03

Stop buying the food she's binging on. Very simple. You have the control here and you have the responsibility.

AfraidOfMyShadow · 04/07/2017 22:04

I think she may need more protein and fat in her diet but I'd suggest speaking to a dietician. Also try fasting on the weekends.

JaneEyre70 · 04/07/2017 22:04

She could be going through a growth spurt, but if you don't control the damage now, in a few years you will have no chance. Get a bin liner and throw all the sugary snacks and drinks in the bin - they are no good for anyone, and her appetite control will soon improve. If she does have to eat between meals, then buy nuts/fruit/low sugar yogurts. Kids are lead by example, and try to do some activities with her even if it's walking the dog or getting a trampoline. It's tough with teenagers though!!

DeanKoontz · 04/07/2017 22:05

Let her have the tantrums. You need to put her health first.

sparechange · 04/07/2017 22:05

Why the hell have you still got multipacks of waffles and muffins in the house? Shock

You are as much at fault here for dangling the temptation in front of her, knowing full well she doesn't have enough self control

BeepBeepMOVE · 04/07/2017 22:07

It sounds like you've brought her up this way. Scared of tantrums. Just don't buy the crap or only enough for one each.

1 english muffin is a breakfast alone. Why would you sit and watch her eat a whole week of breakfasts without doing something. Just say no, thats for everyone else.

gamerchick · 04/07/2017 22:08

Stop buying the waffles and muffins. You can't buy that crap then complain it gets eaten. Just stop, let her tantrum.

Pagwatch · 04/07/2017 22:08

Eating a huge amount of sugar and carbs won't just make her fat, it will make her fuzzy headed and lethargic too.
Stop buying that shit.

Re pp - Don't make her fast. That's a really bad idea for a teenager.

SaucyJack · 04/07/2017 22:09

Are you American? Do you mean American cake muffins, or English bread roll muffins?

You know, you really need to take an awful lot of responsibility here. You are the parent. If you kid goes into the kitchen for their seventh baked sugary good in a hour, then you just say No.

Plenty of people of all ages would and do gorge themselves if there's junk food there, and they can get away with it.

Seriously. Step up.

Eolian · 04/07/2017 22:09

Afraid of tantrums? Wtf? The way to teach her not to have tantrums is to not give in to them! You are endangering your child's health by letting her eat piles of sugary crap. My dd would probably eat nothing but doughnuts and cake if I let her. I don't.

Notcontent · 04/07/2017 22:10

Don't buy sugary snacks. I am quite health conscious but went through a stage when I was buying biscuits, etc to have in the cupboard as "occasional" treats. But sugary treats just get eaten straight away so I just don't buy them. We will have cakes, etc. if out on the weekend but that's it!

RoganJosh · 04/07/2017 22:11

If it's toasting muffins, the Tesco ones are 158 calories each.

Redglitter · 04/07/2017 22:11

and I am very opposed to sugary snacks but am afraid of tantrums if she is denied access to her treats

3 waffles and 4 muffins for breakfast isn't a treat though. You can't complain about her behaviour when you're allowing it. Stop buying things like that or let her have waffles maybe on a Saturday - that's a treat but insist on proper breakfasts the rest of the week.

If she has a tantrum let her get on with it. She's totally manipulating you at the moment. You're the adult. Stop letting her call the shots

Excited101 · 04/07/2017 22:18

Oh wow op! You need to step up, and quickly. Giving into tantrums shouldn't even be allowed to start let alone be still going on now.

Changing the food habits of a child who very soon will be wholly responsible for choosing and getting hold of all her own food is not going to be an easy task when she's used to having everything her way but unless you want a despressed and very unhealthy teenager and then adult daughter then you don't have much choice.

Be a parent, say no, only buy what you are happy to be eaten. Make sure you're spending 1:1 time with her and be there for support. Do what's right by your dd, not what's easy.

iseenodust · 04/07/2017 22:18

DS is 12 and I'm sure would think that was a great breakfast. Doesn't happen though some days it cereal/toast and some days it's eggs. You can turn this around. Also even at this age I think they need reminding to drink plenty.

19lottie82 · 04/07/2017 22:19

Rogan yes plus the butter or whatever is slevered on top of it. 4 with that will still be easily 900 calls Confused

Calvinlookingforhobbs · 04/07/2017 22:19

You say that your daughter is lazy and lacks motivation etc. You asked for help and you have made excuses when given it. Come on, OP, you are her parent. You know this situation isn't right or healthy! Do something to help your daughter. Exploded hobbies with her, get her involved with food prep, bake with her. Parent her. And look out for her health. Mental and physical.

DailyMailReadersAreThick · 04/07/2017 22:20

I mean she can't possibly be hungry after eating an enormous meal.

Yes, she can. I have a hormone problem that makes me permanently hungry. I can eat a three course meal and still feel hungry.

OP, have you exhausted the medical route? You said she's had blood tests, but how extensive were they? What did the doctor suggest?

manicinsomniac · 04/07/2017 22:20

Far too much obviously.

But why the berating of OP for having perfectly normal, healthy breakfast foods in the house? Of course she has a multipack of muffins if that's what the family eat for breakfast - it's not like you can buy them singly and they have about 120 calories each and are very low in fat - no way can 4 have 2000 calories! Even waffles, though sweeter, are still only about 150 calories.

It's the amount that's the problem and OP might not have been around while her 13 year old ate the whole family's breakfast for herself! She still needs to shop for the whole family.

strawberrygate · 04/07/2017 22:21

She's 13 FFS. You're in charge. Who gives a shit if she tantrums; let her. Stop giving her all that food.

Flugelpip · 04/07/2017 22:23

I'm sure you love her but you don't sound as if you like her very much, OP.

Her activity level leaves much to be desired and she claims the weather is what causes her to keep eating.

Obviously this is utter rubbish from her, but she sounds depressed. She is 13! What activities do you do with her? Do you take her out for walks/bike rides?

I really don't know what you were hoping you'd hear but you're making this problem worse by a) buying crap food, even if everyone else in the family is fit and healthy enough to eat it, b) being judgemental about what she eats, what she does and even about her friends, and c) not noticing or realising that 13-year-old girls can be desperately unhappy and eating a lot is a symptom of that.

Give her non-food treats, attention and love. Stop buying shit food. Eat with her - eat the same food as her, at the same time, and take your time over eating smaller portions so she learns to notice being full again - and talk to her about her life, not her diet.

Shesaysso · 04/07/2017 22:23

I think we need clarification about which sort of muffins we're talking about! Bun/ cake muffins or bread roll type muffins!

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