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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To expect more from fellow mums

47 replies

MissKST · 03/07/2017 15:46

So today me and my DD3 were In a shop, well mothercare, and she has hypermobility syndrome, she cannot walk far distances and gets tired very easily as her condition affects her joints, so she still uses a pushchair for shopping,nursery runs etc. Today I was going round a corner in a shop and didn't see a pram that was at the end of the other rail, so I pulled my DD back and said to the other lady with her DS 'oh sorry it's okay you go first' she walked off saying that she 'f***g hates people who lets toddlers be lazy and pushed around' I was absolutely morfied. I said to the 'woman' she actually has a condition that makes her need help now and again but well done on being so judgemental I walked off feeling really unhappy, DD's dad however is now saying I overreacted and embarrassed him WIBU?

OP posts:

lovelysquish · 03/07/2017 15:48

No you were not. At all. Stupid cow, you were polite and she responded like that? Anger issues!

Pickleypickles · 03/07/2017 15:48

She'd have got far worse from me. Not unreasonable at all

StupidSlimyGit · 03/07/2017 15:49

YANBU some people forget invisible disabilities exist. She shouldn't have judged much less made a comment.
hope she didn't ruin your day.

nina2b · 03/07/2017 15:49

You were right. You set the record straight and that unpleasant woman deserved to be challenged.

Justhadmyhaircut · 03/07/2017 15:50

Dd df should be embarrassed he didn't defend her!!
Well done for speaking out.

nina2b · 03/07/2017 15:51

Hope you feel better now.

Seenoevil · 03/07/2017 15:51

You were far politer then I would of been in your case.

Wumpychoo · 03/07/2017 15:51

Well done. She was bloody rude

PickAChew · 03/07/2017 15:51

No, YWNBU.

Some people need to keep their judgemental gobs shut, lest they accidentally put their foot in there.

FormerlyFrikadela01 · 03/07/2017 15:52

Yabu with the title of this thread. Having a child doesn't stop people being assholes.
Not saying you over reacted but I personally never justify my actions to strangers. It none of their business.

honeysucklejasmine · 03/07/2017 15:52

Yeah, I wouldn't have been so polite either.

Patriciathestripper1 · 03/07/2017 15:52

It's amazing how judgy people can be. You can guarantee she wouldn't have said a dicky bird if your dc had been in a wheelchair.
Not everybody's disability is visible.
And No you were not being unreasonable, your husband was with his response.

Lottie991 · 03/07/2017 15:53

You were absolutely right to do so, and didn't over react in the slightest.

BenLui · 03/07/2017 15:54

I once was told off by a stranger in a shop for allowing my DS to use a buggy as he was clearly too old for it.

I said "How old do you think he is?"

"Four"

"He's only just two years old, he's just tall like his Dad"

"Well I wasn't to know that was I?"

"Quite"

She turned on her heel and walked off without another word.

Some people are weird.

thecatsarecrazy · 03/07/2017 15:57

People are arseholes op. My ds 5 months wears hearing aids. Its water off a ducks back to me because I've been through it all before with my eldest ds. You wouldn't believe how people stare. Not the odd glance, not a smile, serious stares. For a moment I forgot then I think oh yes his hearing aids. I'm waiting for the "he's not deaf is he?" Comments like I got last time

FormerlyFrikadela01 · 03/07/2017 16:05

thecatsarecrazy nothing surprises me anymore. I witnessed 2 women muttering to each other about a clearly severely disabled boy on the bus making loads of noise. I was sat next to his dad who just smiled and said watch this and gave a book to his mum who started reading to him... Cue even louder delighted shrieks much to the disgust of the 2 women.

LDN17 · 03/07/2017 16:10

Some people are so god damn rude. So what if a toddler is in a pushchair? They aren't exactly super walkers at that age any way are they. My 2 and a half year old still uses his pushchair and he is really long- I haven't noticed but I bet I've had some dodgy looks from people who think he's too old.

BenLui, exactly! People don't know how old strangers' children are so they should mind their own business! The woman you encountered proved that when she said she "wasn't to know". Silly woman!

cjt110 · 03/07/2017 16:10

My son is almost 3. We are just about ready to get rid of the buggy. We haven't used it in months but it is handy for my Mum as she doesnt drive and sometimes when she has DS, she has a few places in town to visit - too much for little legs.

He is already 3ft3. I had him in the pram the other week and he looked like a fucking giant.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 03/07/2017 16:12

I think you could afford to expect more from your DD's dad! What's he got to be embarrassed about? Your response was informative and truthful and defended your DD. He needs to learn to do that too.

hmcAsWas · 03/07/2017 16:13

You were absolutely right to put this extraordinarily rude woman in her place with your explanation. I hope that she is squirming with embarrassment now (although probably not - she sounds irredeemably foul)

BlurryFace · 03/07/2017 16:19

What an ignorant woman. Plenty of non - disabled 3yos go in buggies/on buggy boards anyway, particularly if they are going for a long journey in foot.

My 2yo DS is awaiting assessment due to potential learning delays/unusual behaviour and I can't make journeys with him out the buggy that I used to make with DS1 at the same age as he dangles on reins and pulls his hand out my grasp, even biting my hand hard enough to bruise trying to make me let go of him. If he's still like this next year, am I supposed to let him run into the road rather than use a buggy?

Original poster

MissKST · 03/07/2017 16:25

Yes I could have probably picked a better thread name, apologies, I just can't believe someone would actually say comments like that about a child. Didn't ruin our day we had a fabulous shopping trip and DD bought more shopkins. DD's Dad and myself are no longer together, we however had been for hospital appointment beforehand and always go together. Things like this remind me why he's an Ex partner and not darling partner

OP posts:

MistressDeeCee · 03/07/2017 16:26

Well done for standing up for yourself and your DD, and putting an ignorant fool in her place. DDs dad sounds like one of those who can't deal with thought of any (necessary)confrontation. So won't back you up but will somehow feel free to lecture you on what you should have done....

Whatsername17 · 03/07/2017 16:26

I think you were restrained. My nephew still goes in his pushchair in crowded or busy places because he runs off. What a judgemental cow.

Coddiwomple · 03/07/2017 16:34

You shouldn't even feel you need to justify anything.

It's not an issue for people to drive their kids to school to save them from a 5 or 10 minutes walk, but a pushchair is not acceptable? Let's start judging the lazy ones in their car before even thinking about the buggies, shall we!

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