To expect DSis to keep an eye on her kids while in my home?

[MichelleH10]

Background: My Dsis and I are both in our thirties, and both have children but mine are all teens (the joys eh ) while hers are only six and eight. She's recently moved back up to Scotland after a decade down south, so in a bid to reconnect I invited her family over for dinner.

The entire time her kids ran riot around my house. I gave them my old tablet to play with as well as some toys/board games and dvds. They started throwing my tablet back and forth to each other until it fell and cracked. Not a big deal on it's own, they're only kids and that's why I gave them my old one. They then spotted my DD's ipad on the tablet and began playing with that in the same way. I took it off them and put it out of their reach, only to come back and find dsis had taken it off the shelf and given it back to them!? She started laughing and said that they're only kids and they'll throw a tantrum if they don't have anything to play with. She assured me she'd keep a better eye on them, so I relented and gave it back to them.

Not ten minutes later there's a huge crack across the screen.

After dinner I put on a DVD for them while my Dsis and I sat on the sofa and had a drink. I stepped into my bedroom quickly to take a five minute call from my boss, and came back to find that her kids had went into my DS's room and picked all the keys off his £150 mechanical keyboard and spilled juice all over it!! I shooed them out of the room and they ran into the kitchen where they then started opening up all my cupboards and began pressing all my amazon dash buttons. They order eight lots of toilet paper

These are only the examples that cost me money, but they spent the entire night being unruly and my Dsis did not lift a finger to keep them in line. It's left a really sour taste to what I'd hoped would be the start of a closer sisterly relationship. My kids were at their dad's that night so didn't witness the carnage first hand but came home gutted to find that their things had been damaged. When I attempted to discipline her kids myself, Dsis accused me of being a b and a child hater ??? Another gem from her was the line "you have kids, you should know not to put those buttons where kids can press them." My youngest is 14, and is perfectly capable of opening a cupboard without pressing every button in site!!

AIBU to expect her to discipline her kids at my house? I know my kids are all older, but I'd never have let them behave like that in my own home, never mind someone else's!

Your sister is an arse hole. I wouldn't have her back in my house.

My 4yo wouldn't behave like that! She's a dick, sorry.

I was fully prepared to say you should chill out and not expect her young children to behave like teens - until I read your OP.

That is truly awful.
Obviously no one's going to post saying that their children behave like that, and mine wouldn't!
But I've never even had a guest child behave that badly and we've had some horrors over the years.
Add to all that your Dsis's attitude and I'd be much more than fuming.
You're a saint OP.
I'd have killed them all.

Your sister and her children are beyond disgusting. I have NEVER seen behaviour like this, from any age child. Your sister's idea of "parenting" is not anything remotely normal in my experience.

I'd be telling your brother to pass on a message that unless the broken stuff is replaced immediately, that you'll be taking her to small claims court, and then do it.

But why the hell did you give a visiting child any of your electronics in the first place? I very rarely let my own kids use my electronics. A visiting child would never be given access to them. You really let your daughter down by giving the brats her ipad, especially after already taking it away once.

They then spotted my DD's ipad on the tablet and began playing with that in the same way. I took it off them and put it out of their reach, only to come back and find dsis had taken it off the shelf and given it back to them!? She started laughing and said that they're only kids and they'll throw a tantrum if they don't have anything to play with. She assured me she'd keep a better eye on them, so I relented and gave it back to them Not ten minutes later there's a huge crack across the screen

How did it go with your son's keyboard, OP? I spilt some hot chocolate on my mechanical keyboard and managed to get it working, but if it was plugged in and sodden it might have shorted it ):

I found the op quite shocking. I don't think I would have remained very calm at the site of a school-aged kid tossing a tablet about.

Some people seem terrified of teaching their kids how to behave for fear of upsetting the little terrors.

As they can't behave and she won't teach them, sisterly get togethers will have to be out of your house.

My 15 month old has learnt not to pick up her sister's ipod/mama's phone and throw it...now she calls out and hands the item back.
This child does not even talk and managed to understand.

I would expect older children to be disciplined, have some remorse and just some common sense!

Insist on invoice payment for all damage, tell your sister how you feel and reflect on how important it is to see her/her children if you have not for 6 years, would it be better to meet at her place/ somewhere neutral and not as often? YANBU at all! Good luck with it all

They broke TWO tablets in the course of one evening?!

I have an 8 and a 6 year old - they've managed never to break a tablet at all.

Slightly gobsmacked. Good luck in getting her to cough up.

I have had this behaviour from visiting children. One Christmas they badly injured my dog nearly killing him. I would not have them in my home again or l, as it is your sister, have locks fitted on all doors and just keep the children in one room. Totally unacceptable.

Definitely NBU. My 6 and 8 year old nephews are more than capable of playing with things and lot destroying them. I have to watch them with my dog though because she's teeny.

Also, I have no hesitation telling the kids to behave in my house and confiscating things I don't want played with and I generally get back up from the parents.

What is the matter with her?! Some people are just twats. I would definitely pursue her for the money but with the expectation of getting nothing.

I think you know that yanbu! You have 2 older children and I'm guessing would never allow them to behave in the same way?

I think in order to build a relationship with your sister and find some common ground in future suggest meeting at the local country park where they can run wild, you can walk and talk and end the day with a coffee and cake in the cafe.

2 tablets and a keyboard in one evening?
I bet your Dsis doesn't have many friends that invite her over if the kids are around. She's being a terrible parent, and will wonder why her kids are left out of things if she doesn't get their destructive behaviors sorted. None of mine or my friends kids were this way with their own stuff never mind other peoples stuff. One of mine is a complete klutz but manages to be careful.

Will your homeowners ins or her insurance cover these things? You sister will need to pay the excess of course.

Call your brother and get her details and go for it

She's never coming back to your house again anyway

She's an idiot. Does she think she's doing a good job raising her kids like this?

You are a saint OP. I would have had a big row especially if DC had saved up and brought stuff, Its crazy how some people think their kids have carte blanche over others properties. Having said that I have never come across such spoilt kids or entitled parents in years of play dates and sleepovers.

I have a 6 year old and and 8 year old (plus a 10 year old) who can be a nightmare at times
They have never thrown tablets back and forth.
They don't go into people's bedrooms ubless they have been told they can eg we often stay at my sisters and they run round the house with my niece and nephew who are similar ages, I've never known my kids to go into my sisters room and mess with her stuff, I've never told them they can't but they just know they shouldn't!
Likewise they stay with my MIL a lot and also would never go into her bedroom
They also don't take drinks around the house, they know they stay in the lounge/kitchen. At home they do have bottles of water in thier rooms but are the type if they get knocked over they wouldn't spill much.

I will say that the 6 year old would press buttons - but only if it was right next to the toilet roll. He would be curious about it and what it does, but he wouldn't go through someone's kitchen cupboards though. And as soon as I'd realised what he'd done I would tell him off and make him apologise.

If they broke something I would applogise and offer to pay. If it was something expensive I would ask if you could claim on your insurance and I would pay the excess.

She was BVU and should pay for the damage.
However I am very glad i jusy discovered what amazon dash buttons are and think I need to make a few purchases of these

Your sister sounds feral, never mind the kids.

Your DS's children are spoilt and because of this they act like toddlers and haven't grown up. They are BRATS and I would making DS pay for repairs 100%

At 6 and 8 yo children are plenty old enough to know and understand how to behave!

Your sister needs to fix the ipad and replace the keyboard as it's her negligence that's allowed them to be broken, she should care more about how her neice and nephew must feel