To not know whether to take this as a compliment or an insult?

[JustHereForThePooStories]

Recently bumped into a girl I went to uni with. Didn't know each other very well and she was always a bit of a queen bee type, and would always try to put someone down- hence why I kept my distance.

Turns out, she and my husband now work for the same (huge) company, and in the same building. She asked me what dept he worked in etc and I told her and she tilted her head and said "oh yes, he's the very manly looking one, isn't he?".

It's not a phrase I heard used before so didn't know how to take it. Google suggests "manly" in linked to personality, rather than looks.

My husband is very tall, dark hair, tidy beard, but of a beer belly. I think he's terrifically handsome, but I don't think he necessarily turns heads in the street.

My gut instinct was to take it as a compliment but, from my interactions from her in university, my guard is up.

• Bit of a beer belly

I dont see how on earth you would think its an insult

I can see how you potentially would take this as an insult given your history with her but I don't think it actually sounds like one.
I think my other half would be quite pleased to be described as manly.

I definitely wouldn't take any offence.

I would take it as neutral descriptor tipping slightly into compliment.

Definitely not an insult to describe a man as manly!

I'm quite impressed a girl managed to graduate from university, she must have been extremely intelligent for her age.

I don't think it's a compliment or insult but it was probably intended to be more on the complimentary side. Either way, I don't think it's worth worrying about. Your husband is incredibly attractive to the person who matters - you.

Does it matter if you fi d hime attractive?

Tbh i cant see how it woild be an insult at all?

There are people out there who can make the offer of a cup of tea sound like a personal slight.

I'd guess she's one of them. It's about her, and her lack of social skills tho.

It's nothing to do with your husband's appearance.

Ooh I love a manly man, I'd take it as a compliment.

Maybe it's a language thing. It's not a word I've ever heard used in my country (where she and I were both raised).

OP I'd definitely take it as a compliment. As would my dh I'm sure.
nolove I really think I have missed the point with the first part of your post. Do you mean women can't graduate or are you being pedantic about op's use of 'girl'?

Girls are children, but it would be a bit pedantic not to extend this until the age of about 21 (graduation).

By the time you are graduating, you are - unless child prodigy - likely ti be a grown man or woman.

She's not important to you, so whether she meant it as an insult or compliment why care?

"I'm quite impressed a girl managed to graduate from university, she must have been extremely intelligent for her age."

It is a very normal thing to hear young men and women referred to as girls and boys. My 30+ YO colleague refers to herself in this way and dislikes me pointing out she's a middle aged woman :-)

I can see why people dislike this usage but it's common enough that it seems crazy to try to police it amongst strangers on the internet.

P.S. Manly is a compliment. Shorthand for tall and beardy. Don't overthink it OP.

I'd say she means it as an insult, but I'd take it as a compliment! I prefer "manly" men (not metrosexual in any way) but I know a lot of people that prefer guys that man-scape and wear fancy clothes. It's all a personal choice :)

Should have told her that he's hung like a donkey, winked and walked off....

Manly is meant as a compliment - so long as it's directed at a man. If someone refers to a woman as manly, it's most definitely not a compliment!

It's a compliment.

@JustHereForThePooStories it just means he's masculine - maybe more a bloke bloke than some of the other guys... compliment.
I think you don't like her and are trying to find an issue.

She just meant he's large and bearded.
IMO girl is acceptable to refer to yourself or someone else until mid-late 20s.
30s isn't middle-aged!

It may be OK to refer to adult women in a known group as children.

But it's not OK when publishing or broadcasting to all and sundry, because if the number of people who find it downright insulting. Unless you want to insult, or don't mind causing confusion (especially on a site such as this, where people do talk about both girls and women so the distinction is useful; and where of course the antipathy to the miscue if the term is so often expressed).

Oh please. Saying 'a girl I went to uni with' isn't insulting. Yawn.

Anyway, manly is a compliment!

"Girl" "Queen Bee"

v.

"Manly"

*"Girl" "Queen Bee"

v.

"Manly"
*

Exactly.

"Oh please. Saying 'a girl I went to uni with' isn't insulting. Yawn."

It might not be insulting to you, but that doesn't mean everyone thinks like that.

""Oh please. Saying 'a girl I went to uni with' isn't insulting. Yawn."

It wouldn't be- if an adult man ever said "A boy I went to uni with".........