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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is my neighbour BU? Noise complaint!!

86 replies

Sweetheartyparty76 · 02/07/2017 11:43

Hi,
We a couple in our early 40's with an 8 month old DD. Almost 2 years ago we moved into a bungalow on a quiet, fairly upmarket all bungalow cul-de-sac. The vast majority of the inhabitants are 50+ and our direct neighbours are about 50-60.
I'm currently on ML but my partner works shifts so sometimes leaves at 5am (this may be relevant).
Yesterday we received a letter from the council stating that they have had a noise complaint report on 28th June and the claimant is keeping a record of noise disturbances and perhaps using an app.
That day my DH was on the early shift so worked from 5.30am to 5.30pm leaving at 5am. I was with my DD all day in the house as the weather was rubbish. We don't have parties obviously and our DD has her bedtime at 7pm so we're as quiet as mice after this. During the day we don't make an unreasonable noises. We have a dog but he very, very rarely barks.
I can only think that the complaint came from our nearest neighbours. My DH doesn't have a very good relationship with them and they have been mutually ignoring each other whereas I've been staying civil.
Not long after we moved in, they asked us not to park on our drive when DH is on earlies as it wakes them up (their bedroom window is a few feet away from our drive). They also asked us to stop using our gate as that is also next to their window. We politely declined to move our car but we stopped using the gate as much. Relations soured completely a year ago when we installed a fence a few feet higher than the original to give our garden some privacy. They came out and started shouting that although it was discussed they never agreed to it. The new fence was built on our land and the original still marks out the boundary.
That's it really. There is no proof that they were the ones who made the complaint but I can't imagine who else it could be. We are just a normalish family, how much noise can me make with a young baby? It all so ludicrous

OP posts:
Callaird · 02/07/2017 12:39

Park his car around the corner and wake the people there?!

Agree with others, you are perfectly entitled to use your drive and gate. You do not have to park the car further away.

Maybe give them your husbands work schedule so they can wear earplugs on his earlies!!

We have just moved house, had a neighbour who played loud music during the day with pounding base, used to make the house shake, made it difficult to use our garden. She did turn the base down whenever we asked but it was a pain to go round all the time.
We now live opposite a very loud family, noisy kids, loud music, bad singing, however it's just Saturdays and usually finishes about 11/11:30. When it's happening though, I want to throw big stones at their huge conservatory. (Must buy a catapult!!)

StaplesCorner · 02/07/2017 12:51

so mummy are you saying that any neighbour could do this to another, and thereby "create" a malicious complaint, and that's it? It remains on file? What a tool for tools!

Devonishome1 · 02/07/2017 12:55

Let them complain and log the noise. Nothing will happen because it's just normal every day noise.

AlternativeTentacle · 02/07/2017 13:00

Yesterday we received a letter from the council stating that they have had a noise complaint report on 28th June and the claimant is keeping a record of noise disturbances and perhaps using an app

Good for them. Not sure what you can do apart from carrying on living your life.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 02/07/2017 13:03

They need to think themselves lucky they don't have my neighbour who goes to work at 5am and sits outside revving his bloody motorbike! Thankfully he doesn't appear to be using it as much this year.

AndTakeYourHorseWithYou · 02/07/2017 13:05

It has to be the 5am wake up call. TBH I can't blame them for finding that annoying. If you move to a naice cul de sac then maybe you are the type to want peace and quiet

Sounds like OP likes her peace and quiet, but some of us work shifts. We have to go to work while some of you are asleep, but then you probably go to work while we are asleep, so how about I'll park in the next street and walk at 5am if you do the same at 8am when I've done a late shift and am fast asleep?

Or you could just get over yourself and realise a neighbour driving off at an early hour is completely normal noise and you should move to an isolated spot if you can't cope with normal noise?

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 02/07/2017 13:11

One of my neighbours does it.
Drives me bonkers.

It's the slammed door, then the endless faffing around with the engine running, esp. in winter when the windows are frosted, then the radio blaring, then the revving of the engine.

I could happily strangle him.

So I think they have a valid point.

littletwofeet · 02/07/2017 13:19

Is your DH leaving 'normally' st 5am or is he taking care to be quiet, so shutting the house door quietly (when we leave early or late we put key in the outside so door makes no noise closing, are very careful closing car doors, gates, etc).

The fact they have asked your DH to be quieter leaving for work suggests he prehaps isn't being as considerate as he could be.

They have asked you for a solution, parking off the driveway which depending on your road would be reasonable and not closing the gate which you only agree to some of the time.

It's a hassle to report to the council and monitor noise/keep a diary, etc. Most people only do this when desperate.

blueskyinmarch · 02/07/2017 13:20

But surely if you have to leave for work at 5.30 there has to be a little bit of noise even if it is just a door closing and and being being started? My DH gets up for work at 5 am a lot of mornings. It wakes me up and i suspect the neighbours hear him leaving but to me it is just normal everyday noise. Not something to complain about. People can be very strange.

MaisyPops · 02/07/2017 13:21

If it's a quiet road is there any real reason dh couldn't park up the road a little when he's due to leave so early?

Seriously?!
People should run their lives to accommodate nutter neighbours who think the world should cater to them? Not a chance.

They sound like the sort of people who think they can throw their weight around and everyone should jump because it's easier. In other words they are cantankerous pains in the arses with a massive sense of entitlement.

Andrewofgg · 02/07/2017 13:21

We live in a first floor maisonette and the window by our drive is the ground floor bedroom. If we get home late, and I often do, drive onto the gravel, and get out and close the doors she complains that it wakes her, and I am sure it does. And it's JTB because people are free to come and go, making no more noise than is unavoidable, at any hour.

AndTakeYourHorseWithYou · 02/07/2017 13:21

So I think they have a valid point

Only because you are assuming OP's husband is like your neighbour, on no evidence. So you have no idea if they have a point, do you?

Floralnomad · 02/07/2017 13:23

I think I'd be tempted to ring the person who sent the letter and explain what you've said here . The neighbours sound ridiculously petty and councils are well used to people complaining about noise where there is no noise but they are always obliged to look into it / send letters etc .

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 02/07/2017 13:24

Well they would be complaining if they weren't disturbed, would they?

Also, OP says this

They also asked us to stop using our gate as that is also next to their window. We politely declined to move our car but we stopped using the gate as much.

It seems OP and her DH aren't keen on neighbourly solution either.

NaiceBiscuits · 02/07/2017 13:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AndTakeYourHorseWithYou · 02/07/2017 13:32

Well they would be complaining if they weren't disturbed, would they

Just because someone doesn't like what you are doing it doesn't mean you are doing anything wrong.

MaisyPops · 02/07/2017 13:34

We politely declined to move our car but we stopped using the gate as much.
It seems OP and her DH aren't keen on neighbourly solution either.

So they HAVE stopped using their gate as much but don't see why they should move their car.
Perfectly reasonable.

Sounds to me like being nice and not using the gate as much gives people like this a mile.

I'd be Hmm if I had a neighbour telling me to alter my living arrangements, not use my gate, move my car to outside someone else's house when I have parking for my own house.

MaisyPops · 02/07/2017 13:36

Just because someone doesn't like what you are doing it doesn't mean you are doing anything wrong
Exactly. One of our close family friends is adamant that the people next door are 'up to something' and their reasons for it are:

  • they sit in their back yard and talk (that is anti social apparnetly)
  • they've been seen pressure washing the yard to clean it
  • they go out after 3pm (who does this? It's not normal behaviour)
  • apparently you can hear them every night. None of our family who have stayed have ever heard anything untoward.
WhatALoadOfOldBollocks · 02/07/2017 13:41

Interesting post mummymeister. It's good to know that generally there aren't specific levels or times for noise to be considered a nuisance.

Andrewofgg sounds like the problem is the gravel and the proximity of the drive to the bedroom window. Bad planning rather than deliberate noise, but still disturbing. Shame it's not tarmaced or paved.

Whatsforu · 02/07/2017 13:47

I am shocked at how intolerant people are. This is normal every day life. I sympathise op as we also have neighbours with too much time on their hands. Tutting and whispering at the slightest thing. I dread to think how they would be if you started having parties every weekend. As for people going to work in the morning how awful!!Hmm

AddictedToDrPepper · 02/07/2017 13:47

they go out after 3pm (who does this? It's not normal behaviour) GrinGrinGrin

SeagullsStoleMyChurro · 02/07/2017 13:48

I'm highly noise sensitive and a light sleeper and I think they are being fucking ridiculous.
People don't all work 9 - 5.

As long as he is just switching on the car and going rather than letting it idle for ages, and not having the radio or music come on when he starts it. That I could see would be irritating as it's not necessary or considerate.

Mmzz · 02/07/2017 13:48

I can understand it being annoying to being woken at 5am every time your DH has to start early, and if your neighbours weren't trying to bully you into compying with their every whim, I'd say maybe park elsewhere on those days.
However, they are trying to bully you, and the thing you should never, ever do with bullies is give them an inch because it will encourage them to look for new petty things to boss you around on.

Also, 8 month old babies tend to grow into children who squeal and shout (especialy when friends come around) and have some toys that aren't remotely quiet. If they complain about a car door, I wonder how they'll feel about a paddling pool being out and a bunch of five year old girls splashing about? I think your neighbours need to learn that you won't be bullied by them now.

winglesspegasus · 02/07/2017 13:49

4 of 7 ndn leave btwn 2am and 4 am
with large noisy vehicles.after awhile my sleep brain got used to it.doesnt wake me any more

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 02/07/2017 13:51

They stopped using the gate "as much" but they didn't move the car out of the driveway which it appears they could have done.

We also don't know just how considerate DH is when he's leaving.

So yes, I do think the neighbours have a point. You don't have to share my opinion.