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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take a new job whilst 20 weeks pregnant?

73 replies

PayingMyWayYouSay · 02/07/2017 10:03

I have an interview on Tuesday. I work for the NHS, this job is with the same employer, NHS, just a different hospital.

Myself and DH have moved back to his home town now and it's all lovely etc, but the commute to my job in London is extortionate in cost. It'll be leaving me short around £400 a month.

AIBU to go to this interview on Tuesday and take the job if they offer it to me?

I am not particularly well myself (but I am a bloody good worker and give it my all at work), so the hour plus commute worries me too Sad Won't go into to my detail but in a nutshell, I'm fine to carry out my job.

I am however 20 weeks pregnant. MIL believes If I take the job, it shows lack of morals to leave them in a few months to swan off on Mat leave. She says it's unethical to take the job and says they won't give it to me anyway if they find out I'm pregnant from my old employer. I said I don't think that's allowed, she said they will still do it even so.

I will, however, certainly be back after Maternity leave! So I'm not just taking the job to leave for good. It'll be long term and is a lovely role.

What do you think?

OP posts:
Bubblysqueak · 02/07/2017 10:05

Do it. I started a new job and told them on my first day I was pregnant (I has the 12 weeks scan the day before I started) not great timing but hardly anything life is.

Cornettoninja · 02/07/2017 10:07

I'd go for it.

People will raise an eyebrow and likely have an opinion, but you've got to look out for yourself, no ones going to offer you the same opportunity on a plate when the time is perfect.
Brazen it out and reap the benefits I say.

Original poster
PayingMyWayYouSay · 02/07/2017 10:08

Bubbly Congratulations on your new job Flowers

To be honest, I completely understand it's not great timing etc, but my baby and DH come first and, in my mind, this means me doing everything I can to make our lives better/easier

OP posts:
MiniAlphaBravo · 02/07/2017 10:08

Do what's best for you. If they gave the job to someone else they might leave/be rubbish/etc so being pregnant isn't the end of the world.

Summerysunny · 02/07/2017 10:09

Hmm it certainly sounds like a better fit for you. Plus then you won't spend maternity leave worrying about going back to a job with a long commute.

Maybe you should tell them beforehand? And explain that you're committed to going back after maternity?

acquiescence · 02/07/2017 10:10

I was in a similar position recently, also NHS, same employer, long service, offered new job and found out I was pregnant very quickly. I deliberated about what to do and took the job. Admittedly I will have longer in the new role than you will but I think you should go for the interview and take the job if offered it.

Most roles in the NHS are challenging and we have had our pay capped for many years now. One advantage is that our HR processes are generally fair and non discriminatory so take advantage of this fact.

Are you clearly showing? If not I would make your situation clear at the interview.

runningtogetskinny · 02/07/2017 10:10

When I was about 24 weeks pregnant I interviewed and accepted a job a grade higher, in the same local authority but a different team (residential social work). I was back from maternity leave after 16 weeks (dumped by exh while pregnant so little choice) I worked my way up to manager and was never off sick. I believe I was an asset to the team and deserved the job - go for it, my employer had no issue at all Smile

Original poster
PayingMyWayYouSay · 02/07/2017 10:10

I feel terrible for starting a thread complaining of MIL but she really hit a nerve last night and I felt I really had to fight my corner.

I just wish she would see I only want what's best for me and my small family Sad

OP posts:
Boredboredboredboredbored · 02/07/2017 10:10

I interviewed for an NHS post (nurse) whilst pregnant with dc2. It was a part time post which i really wanted, I explained that I was pregnant (around 13 weeks then
So not showing) and although I'd be off for 6 months this was a long term post for me. I got the job and stayed in post for 10 years. Go for it 👍🏻

jelliebelly · 02/07/2017 10:12

Go for it - be honest though

Original poster
PayingMyWayYouSay · 02/07/2017 10:12

Hello, yes I am indeed showing! Very clear and precise bump going on at present Blush

HR can't tell them I'm pregnant, can they? MIL says they will and the new hospital will try and weed out info about me Blush

OP posts:
ElleMcElle · 02/07/2017 10:19

Do it - if you plan to return after maternity leave, there's no moral issue. Men and women both have a right to take time out for young children and employers have to accommodate that. Your MIL is out of touch.

Original poster
PayingMyWayYouSay · 02/07/2017 10:37

So is the general feel from PP for me to tell the new employer before the job offer (in interview), or afterwards (just before I sign the contract)?

Thanks all Flowers

OP posts:
acquiescence · 02/07/2017 11:07

I would tell them either (if) when the offer you the job, presuming this would be on the phone. You wouldn't want to feel like you had kept something from them or that there would be any bad feeling. Personally I would say something like 'that's fanstasic news. I need to let you know that I am pregnant so will be off on maternity leave before too long. However I am in this for the long term so very committed... bla bla bla'
If you get to that stage I'm pretty sure they wouldn't be able to withdraw the offer.

acquiescence · 02/07/2017 11:07

Good luck!

BoraThirch · 02/07/2017 11:10

Go for it, if they call and offer you the job tell them then. Women do get pregnant, its a reality and big employers like the NHS can absorb it.

Original poster
PayingMyWayYouSay · 02/07/2017 11:10

acquiescience that's a fabulous suggestions, thank you Smile

OP posts:
witsender · 02/07/2017 11:10

If you are showing they will see at interview surely? Not that that is an issue, but your main concern about them finding out is that your HR would tell them, but if you have a bump they will see it?!

Original poster
PayingMyWayYouSay · 02/07/2017 11:22

wits But surely some can have a belly that looks pregnant without it actually being the case? Assuming someone is pregnant based on appearance isn't accurate all the time, is it?

I had a bad ulcer situation a few years back and looks very pregnant indeed. It was a bump.

OP posts:
kate20091985 · 02/07/2017 11:28

I accepted a new role when I was 16 weeks pregnant and told them on my first day that I was pregnant (had to fill in a health and safety form). My manager didn't seem particularly pleased but it was only a temporary role for 6 months anyway; and surely pregnant women have as much right to work as anyone else? I wouldn't tell them in the interview though as I think it would impact your chances

redphonebox · 02/07/2017 11:30

I was once second choice for a job and the lady who was first choice was pregnant so I was offered the job as her maternity cover. I turned them down as I'd been offered something else but the next person on the list accepted it then as far as I know went on to another job in the organisation when the first choice returned from mat leave. So it all worked out brilliantly!

So look at it that way, you might be helping them out Wink

topcat2014 · 02/07/2017 11:35

But surely, the interviewer will just decide not to offer you the job on the basis of you being visibly pregnant?

and then find another reason for the paperwork

user1498221998 · 02/07/2017 11:35

Honestly, I think it's really wrong.

As someone who has been a manager it is really unfair to take a job, knowing you will immediately be off on maternity leave.

user1498221998 · 02/07/2017 11:37

You will also be starting a new job by deception if you do not tell them and even if you do you will be starting having pissed off your manager and colleagues. Not a good way to start a job! A lot of stress too for you while in late pregnancy.

If I was a hiring Manager I'd not hire a visibly pregnant woman as you know they will be going on maternity leave. You would have to be brain dead to give a job to a heavily pregnant woman so you won';t get it anyway.

It'\s discrimination but it happens.

PeaFaceMcgee · 02/07/2017 11:40

It is a woman's right to take maternity leave.

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