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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take a new job whilst 20 weeks pregnant?

73 replies

PayingMyWayYouSay · 02/07/2017 10:03

I have an interview on Tuesday. I work for the NHS, this job is with the same employer, NHS, just a different hospital.

Myself and DH have moved back to his home town now and it's all lovely etc, but the commute to my job in London is extortionate in cost. It'll be leaving me short around £400 a month.

AIBU to go to this interview on Tuesday and take the job if they offer it to me?

I am not particularly well myself (but I am a bloody good worker and give it my all at work), so the hour plus commute worries me too Sad Won't go into to my detail but in a nutshell, I'm fine to carry out my job.

I am however 20 weeks pregnant. MIL believes If I take the job, it shows lack of morals to leave them in a few months to swan off on Mat leave. She says it's unethical to take the job and says they won't give it to me anyway if they find out I'm pregnant from my old employer. I said I don't think that's allowed, she said they will still do it even so.

I will, however, certainly be back after Maternity leave! So I'm not just taking the job to leave for good. It'll be long term and is a lovely role.

What do you think?

OP posts:
PeaFaceMcgee · 02/07/2017 11:41

Most orgs are terrified of the accusation of discrimination - unless they're a small company run by dinosaurs.

Original poster
PayingMyWayYouSay · 02/07/2017 11:42

Completely different reactions now Grin

I'm now heavily pregnant though user, I am only 20 weeks so bump is visible quite clearly but still isn't that obvious I suppose

OP posts:
MatildaTheCat · 02/07/2017 11:44

It will likely be obvious when you are interviewed. One difficulty may be that if you are offered the job and all the palaver of checks etc and the usual NHS faffing, you may well be due to go on ML almost as soon as you start.

I hope you get it anyway.

ThomasinaCoverly · 02/07/2017 11:45

user, in that case it's just as well you're not a hiring manager as you would be acting illegally. I don't see any point in saying anything: they are legally not allowed to take it into account in any way.

I wouldn't tell them in advance, but if they do offer you the role be up-front about it and stress that you see this as a long-term prospect and want to help them plan for your mat leave.

I speak as someone who promoted a team member to a new role just as she went on mat leave, and hired maternity cover for the first few months of that role. Because it's my job as the manager to make it work, not my team's responsibility to apologise for having private lives and entitlements to leave.

Original poster
PayingMyWayYouSay · 02/07/2017 11:47

Thank you Matilda Flowers

You're spot on about the NHS faffing! It took 8 weeks to finalise my start date and start from the interview acceptance to the job Hmm I was very surprised last time.

As for the discriminatory issue, I said to MIL that employers have to tread careful with pregnant woman and even if they are legitimately under performing, it can be hard to prove it's not pregnant related etc

OP posts:
Original poster
PayingMyWayYouSay · 02/07/2017 11:48

Thomas You sound a lovely person and very on board with realities in life Flowers

OP posts:
Scandicana · 02/07/2017 11:48

Hi,

I've been lurking on a few threads but this one got me to sign up :) I'm 7 weeks pregnant and my current contract expires in August, so will be looking for a new job while pregnant.

From what I've researched, it's illegal for an employer to turn you down for a job or promotion based on your pregnancy. Many companies prefer for you not to disclose the pregnancy during the interview so that the decision cannot be influenced by any perceptions of the pregnancy. I've heard of people mentioning it when they're awarded the job and given details of the comp package. Obviously if there's concerns with the type of work (eg risk of exposure to things that would be harmful to the foetus), extensive travel to places where you won't have the same level of medical care or if you're obviously showing you may decide to inform earlier.

This gives a quick explaination, a google search (job interview when pregnant uk) gives lots of other results:
worksmart.org.uk/work-rights/family-friendly-work/maternity-leave/if-i-go-job-interview-do-i-have-tell-them-im

So go for it and goodluck!

BewareOfDragons · 02/07/2017 11:49

Your MIL should want the best for you and be supportive.

She sounds like a cow. Why didn't your DH tell her to zip it?

user1498221998 · 02/07/2017 11:53

it's illegal for an employer to turn you down for a job or promotion based on your pregnancy.

Of course it is but very few managers would pick a pregnant candidate over one that wasn't. All they have to say is someone else proved their competence more. I am a hiring Manager, so are my friends. We would never ever choose a pregnant candidate in a million years.

user1498221998 · 02/07/2017 11:53

I'm just being honest.

EyeDrops · 02/07/2017 11:54

I'd do as others have suggested re being open about pregnancy but assuring them you're committed to the job as a long term prospect etc - I'd do it at the interview though (at the end when it's your time to ask questions) to be upfront about it.

Good luck! Flowers

BewareOfDragons · 02/07/2017 12:10

I'm just being honest.

Yes, User. You and your friends are just being honest.

So am I when I say you and your friends shouldn't be hiring managers.

You are likely passing up on highly qualified candidates because they want a family. But only the female candidates. You are just discriminating against women, which is offensive and illegal. I highly doubt you screen out male candidates who have pregnant partners/wives ... who will also be entitled to paternity leave, and quite prospective lengthy ones now under the law.

araiwa · 02/07/2017 12:50

You want the best for yourself

Hiring managers want the best for their business. No way is a preganant woman best for their business.

You will be going on maternity fairly soon anyway- cant you stay where you are for the moment and then start applying for new jobs after the baby as you might find your world has completely changed anyway

Original poster
PayingMyWayYouSay · 02/07/2017 13:31

You will be going on maternity fairly soon anyway- cant you stay where you are for the moment and then start applying for new jobs after the baby as you might find your world has completely changed anyway

That's not really affordable. I can't keep spending £400 on train fairs. I'll have nothing to help me get through my maternity pay. It's also physically quite difficult some days (getting into work), with the big commute

Plus, I want to go back to a local job once maternity leave is over.

If I can make it easier for myself, I will

OP posts:
peachgreen · 02/07/2017 13:40

Will you definitely get maternity pay if you change jobs at this point? Not sure how it works under the NHS.

Original poster
PayingMyWayYouSay · 02/07/2017 15:53

peach Yes, as it's the same employer, just different hospital if that makes sense

OP posts:
fassbendersmistress · 02/07/2017 16:00

Do it. I started a new job at 20wks. Had been very upfront at the interviews (had to tell them when they offered me the job and I was 8 wks!). I love the job, enjoyed this pregnancy so much more than my first as it was much less stressful/better commute and will be going back after 9mths mat leave. One thing I did do was help,them find my mat cover which made things a bit easier for them.

Things have changed since MILs days when a job was a job for life.

Good luck!

SafeToCross · 02/07/2017 16:00

Go for the interview. Tell your MIL that happily attitudes have changed with the generations and public sector employers lead the way in being non discrimanatory, enabling her grandchildren to benefit. I would only tell them once I had been offered the job and accepted, however, I know my NHS managers fairly consider for promotions and new jobs women who are pregnant. Focus on your skills, not your maternity leave. And it will be easier to change jobs now than coming back from mat leave.

SafeToCross · 02/07/2017 16:02

Oh, and ask her whether she thinks your DH should mention your pregnancy during any upcoming interviews - shared parental leave and all that. No?

bbcessex · 02/07/2017 16:03

payingmyway

Go for it. It's kind of like moving to a new department or branch of the same firm.

No time is ever the right time. You could start a new job and fall pregnant soon after.

Bigger organisations need to have the infrastructure to deal with reality.. until equal payernity rights / shared leave really becomes the norm (a long time, imo) then this is reality and you shouldn't be penalised because of it.

fassbendersmistress · 02/07/2017 16:06

Also, can you imagine the headache of being a few months into mat leave and having to start job hunting, getting interview ready and finding childcare while you attend interviews? The pressure will be on.
Not what you need.

In 'Lean In' Sheryl Sandberg believes women do themselves a real disservice by putting career changes/development on hold just because of mat leave...It really shouldn't stop us taking career risks or making choices of what's best for us.

FrowningFlamingo · 02/07/2017 16:15

I'm due to start a new job in august (run through mat leave eligibility from my old job but technically a new employer and unfortunately a much smaller organisation) and I'm currently TTC. I'm really torn about whether I stop for a bit but then at what is it 'acceptable'... the end result is that I'll be going on mat leave (hopefully) at some point in the next couple of years, does it really matter whether it's this year or next...
bewarelfdragons has it spot on too about not asking male candidates...
I think you should go for it :)

witsender · 02/07/2017 17:21

Sorry, you said you had a visible bump. That's what I was basing my query on

JoeyJoeyJo · 02/07/2017 20:28

I was in exactly this position. I interviewed for a waiting list for jobs in an NHS Trust when I was about 3 months pregnant (not showing, didn't disclose).

I was in a temporary contract in a different trust, which was due to end shortly before my mat leave would begin, which would have basically left me jobless and about to have my first child.

When I was offered a permanent job from the waiting list, I accepted without hesitation. I disclosed that I was pregnant as soon as I formally accepted the job, at that point I was maybe 5 months pregnant. By the time all the police checks and so on came through and I had a start date, I was only 7 weeks away from my mat leave start date.

It wasn't ideal timing, but I was well within my rights to do what I did. As I hadn't been in an NHS job long enough for stat mat pay, I only got mat allowance and therefore my maternity leave didn't actually cost them anything.

I have absolutely no regrets, and there have been no repercussions. OP, go ahead and take the job!

PopcornNRedwine · 02/07/2017 20:41

Your mother in law sounds out of touch.

It is a straight move from within the NHS trust so mat leave will be fine.

Don't understand where this "lack of morals" tosh comes from. If you are the best most suitable person for the job it matters not a jot that you will be taking mat leave. You are entitled to it. This is for the good of your family.

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