Nosey neighbours and our pup's separation anxiety.

[GerbitaFillsbottomMcSimmons]

We have a 7 month old pup who is spoiled rotten and really a beautiful member of our family though we recently learned she suffers from separation anxiety. We went out for dinner one night nearby leaving her at home. We were planning on being gone for no longer than two hours and after 45 minutes we got a call from a friendly neighbour that she was howling. DH raced home to find our neighbours on the opposite side of the street who we've never met calling out "control your dog mate". We found this quite rude. Since then we've been told these neighbours have threatened to call the RSPCA on us "to teach us a lesson". We have never left our pup for longer than three hours (from the age of four months) and only about ten times since we've had her (she goes to day care or I work from home) she is NEVER left alone longer than that. So I have been working on training her to feel comfortable when I leave and today I decided to place my phone on the table and video her when I left to see how she was coping. I popped to the shops and came home 20 minutes later and watched the video. Poor girl was howling after 5 minutes but shockingly I saw in the video that the neighbours had come out of their house and were videoing her howling! - obviously trying to build a case! I am furious that they would go to such lengths without even coming over to talk to us. If they did they would see how extremely loved and cared for she is. So what should I do? I am thinking of knocking on the door with DH, pup and a bottle of something one night to apologise for any noise and let them know we're working on it (through gritted teeth). AIBU to be furious they are videoing inside our house without ever coming and talking to is about it? What would you do? Sorry this is so long!

Actually that's not fair advice to stop babying was the behavioural therapists.

I feel sorry for your neighbours.

You are being anti social.

I am furious

Seriously?

Your neighbours are the ones having to put up with your crap.

OP I hope having read the comments on the thread that you're the one that is being unreasonable, you're bring a very inconsiderate neighbour and I don't blame your neighbours for wanting to build a case against you.

The dog's noise is your problem and you need to do whatever it takes to sort it out.

In the meantime you need to do as you say and go round with a bottle of wine and tell them what you're doing to work on it. Your social life will need to take the hit in the meantime to sort the problem and minimise the noise.

It never fails to amaze me how otherwise normal people don't realise how annoying their dogs are.

I would be logging a noise complaint with the council every single time you left your dog. Why are dog owners so entilied? Noone should have to put up with that horrendous noise - it would drive me insane. You owe your neighbours an apology. Maybe you should get rid of your dog if you can't keep it quiet.

It's nothing to do with 'babying' a dog or 'spoiling' it. Neither is it about making it sleep alone in the kitchen.

Ignore the posters who flock to these threads with helpful advice about getting rid of it.

The advice group that I linked to is very good, has the best up to date advice and will help you find a qualified behaviourist if you want more help.

Separation anxiety is not an easy thing to treat, it's about making the dog feel secure and has to be done in tiny, tiny steps, no leaving the dog to cry or panic.

Ironically a lot of dogs develop it because they have been left too early to cry alone.

I hope you get it sorted, you might have hidden the thread (and I wouldn't blame you).

I don't blame your neighbours - there's literally nothing worse than listening to a dog howl and howl

Totally second the radio, without it my dog can hear every little noise and I think gets a bit anxious. With the radio on she just sleeps and gets comfy.
Also not letting her have full run of the house might be good, so just keeping her I'm a few rooms so she feels a little bit more secure.

My parents buy the dog baby clothes and accessories stop. They quite literally baby the dog and call it a baby. So ... yes. It does happen.

I can see it from your neighbours view tbh. My upstairs neighbours dog has separation anxiety and she howls from the minute they leave the flat. This echo's around the whole of my flat and I cannot escape it. It also affects other neighbours too. The dog is also clearly distressed which is horrible to hear.

I have discussed this with my upstairs neighbours on many, many occasions and they show concern, express sympathy and acknowledge their dog has a problem. But they continue to leave her and say that "she has to learn to be left alone". Well after 3 years she hasn't learnt and its making my life a misery. Other neighbours have called out the dog warden and the RSPCA out of concern for the dogs welfare because the poor animal is showing distress. The issue is still ongoing.

Your neighbours shouldn't have to put up with your dog howling, I'm sorry but its just unacceptable, and the dog shouldn't have to suffer. If it looks like you are not dealing with the problem are they supposed to just put up with it? And I have recorded upstairs dogs howling for evidence, to highlight how loud and what a nuisance it is, that's the advice that our dog warden gives out.

I've been through this with my dog, and PPs are right to say it takes months (about 3 in my case) of mind-bendingly slow progress, but it's worth it. I kept a diary of everything she achieved day-by-day and pretty much treated it like a job.

The problems are mainly that other people won't understand and will constantly suggest things that risk taking you and your dog right back to square one. Examples of bad advice include things like 'just crate her' or 'it's only for five minutes, I'm sure she'll be OK' etc.

My dog is now fine, although I still regularly and randomly scramble my going out routine, and do occasional false clues (ie still sometimes pick up my keys or put my coat on and settle right back down again) to try her anxiety levels down, just in case. This is also worth doing. I was advise by a behaviourist that once a dog has experienced the very high level of distress that is SA, there is always a risk that it could re-emerge, so I am ultra careful.

The other thing I'd suggest is re-framing the problem as an animal welfare problem rather than a neighbour problem; I have no clue who your neighbours are or what their motivations are but it's actually irrelevant: your dog is experiencing significant distress and you need to focus on that. I have no doubt the RSPCA (or whoever) would be supportive of any efforts you make to 'fix' your dog and would understand how difficult it is. It is sadly an increasingly common problem.

Good luck with it all!