Nosey neighbours and our pup's separation anxiety.

[GerbitaFillsbottomMcSimmons]

We have a 7 month old pup who is spoiled rotten and really a beautiful member of our family though we recently learned she suffers from separation anxiety. We went out for dinner one night nearby leaving her at home. We were planning on being gone for no longer than two hours and after 45 minutes we got a call from a friendly neighbour that she was howling. DH raced home to find our neighbours on the opposite side of the street who we've never met calling out "control your dog mate". We found this quite rude. Since then we've been told these neighbours have threatened to call the RSPCA on us "to teach us a lesson". We have never left our pup for longer than three hours (from the age of four months) and only about ten times since we've had her (she goes to day care or I work from home) she is NEVER left alone longer than that. So I have been working on training her to feel comfortable when I leave and today I decided to place my phone on the table and video her when I left to see how she was coping. I popped to the shops and came home 20 minutes later and watched the video. Poor girl was howling after 5 minutes but shockingly I saw in the video that the neighbours had come out of their house and were videoing her howling! - obviously trying to build a case! I am furious that they would go to such lengths without even coming over to talk to us. If they did they would see how extremely loved and cared for she is. So what should I do? I am thinking of knocking on the door with DH, pup and a bottle of something one night to apologise for any noise and let them know we're working on it (through gritted teeth). AIBU to be furious they are videoing inside our house without ever coming and talking to is about it? What would you do? Sorry this is so long!

Ever had a noise nuisance neighbour OP?

(I'm guessing not - it's an absolute unpredictable nightmare by the way).

stopnamechanging I'm thinking if they've not realised the dog has separation issues before and it's 7 months old then the neighbours might have more idea what happens when it's been left alone previously.

Although I would be worried about the neighbours as well as they could and seem to have it in for the OP.

Agree poor dog needs help for its problem as soon as possible. I've lived next door to a howling dog and it's heartbreaking. I did inform my neighbour immediately

Okay so the problem sounds like separation anxiety,

Firstly,
This is going to be a long. Long. Tedious process. Sorry. Welcome to doggy training!

I would advise to not put her in a crate, as they are not recommended for dogs with speration anxiety as they can and will thrash around, panic, bite the bars and break their teeth.

Doggy proof a room, kitchen is ideal, I'd advise a room without a window that faces a street purely because people walking past a window can wind up even calm dogs and if they get in the habit of barking and people walking by it makes them think "good, the stranger left because i barked, I must bark next time and they wont come close" and it's difficult to get them to stop. Hence the traditional hatred of the post man! (Scary noisy persoperson comes to house everyday, I bark and scare him off and he leaves = I protect house from scary person and must do the same next time)

Then make this room the best most fun room ever! Treats, fuss, comfy bed, toys, time consuming toys/puzzles,
Make sure puppy spends lots of time in there, with you.

Next stage, remove the build up to leaving, so all those little cues she's picking up on,
Putting on shoes/coats/keys/door opening ect ,
Practice those, but don't go out. Put your shoes on and walk up stairs, pop your coat on randomly and sit down and fuss, then she doesnt get wound up and afraid you're about to leave her.

Then when she doesn't bat an eye lid at that, practice shutting doors, randomly in the house, have someone shut the door to the room with you in there too and fuss and treat. So shut doors are not scary, they happen all day every day.

Then practice putting her in the room alone, maybe with a kong/treats scattered for distraction for 2 seconds. Literally no longer. Open the door and give a super tasty treat and praise. Then 4 seconds ECT. Build up slowly, do each stage a few Times, if she barks, ignore until she stops and immediately open the door and praise (for stopping ONLY) then go back a step and shorten the time and work on that stage.

This could take months, but a happy dog is a healthy one and annoyed neighbours can make your life a misery. Good luck to your family :) if you get stuck email a canine behaviourist and get some advice on how to move on. You could be doing the right thing at the wrong time or in a different way and just need guidance or a fresh perspective!

Also, no dog should be left for more than 4 hours alone but I totally understand people have to work! I absolutely recommend getting a dog flap and a dog walker.
My dog has both and shes very content on the days she has to be alone, she is a typical noisy breed and she doesn't peep.

Big girl used to pant, drool, wee on her bed and then try and eat the bed if I left for long enough to have a wee. It was bloody awful.
We started by me wandering about and in and out of the same room.
This week we left her and went shopping for four hours. She was nodding off when we left and still passed out when we returned.
Covering a crate, leaving the radio on, leaving a toy or tasty treats will do bugger all. That's not what the dog wants.
The trick is to work up to leaving really very gradually and never allow the dog to get upset and howl. Each time it does you reinforce how awful it is to be left. They're not a bit upset. It's like panic attack.

You are behaving in a selfish way because you are leaving your dog to make alot of noise. Can you not understand the impact of this.
Time and time again dog owners think their little doggie is really cute and loveable but is in fact a nuisance to those living nearby. Why OP should your neighbours have to put up with this noise?

I would not leave her where she can see out in the street. Have you ever sat at a window waiting for something?! Its stressful. Find somewhere small and secure (if no crate) and have the radio on. My ddog loves radio 4!
Is there anything she likes especially (an old sock of yours? Ddog liked an old Croc shoe of mine) she only gets given when you go out.
Have you tried playing sprinkles before you go out? Knackers them!

Stop blaming the neighbours for your noisy dog! "Only" three hours. Do you know what someone else's dog howling for three hours sounds like? I do.

OP you must have our old neighbour next door to you!! She was a bloody nightmare, and completely mental. Threatened us with the Rspca and climbed over our fence once (he has a cat flap) to 'save' him

Our dog was fine after a little while, doesn't make a fuss anymore. We used to give him a chewy/longish lasting treat when we left the house.

Rspca told her to bore off She sold her place and moved out shortly after.

Hope your little one settles down!

Oh and I leave smooth or classic radio on the telly while we're out. It at least drowns out the neighbourhood sounds of cars, foxes, dogs barking etc.. so dog doesn't notice them as much

FGS, this sounds like torture for the dog, the owners and the neighbours.

I know pets are lovely and all that, but honestly, a child would not get a room of their own with treats in it. This is bizarre, the amount of time, effort and money put into a pet, when the owner cannot be there with them all the time.

I am sorry and will be flamed, I don't care. The minute a pet is distressed I ask myself why the owner got them in the first place. If I were the neighbours I would be going mad at the howling.

Some pet owners do not realise the effect a distressed and barking/howling dog can have on those around them.

I have the t shirt on that one, I was that long suffering neighbour. Dog is dead now, and no replacement in over a year. Whew.

I'm not sure exactly what you mean by 'spoilt rotten' but I'd hazard a guess that this is the root of the problem.

Oh God, I keep forgetting it's the neighbours' fault if your dogs are noisy.

Selfish doesn't even begin to describe it.

You say you rarely ever leave your dog? There lies your problem. You need to build it up, slowly, increasing time, bit by bit. Rarely leaving your dog will not help it learn how to cope with being alone. Make sure it sleeps downstairs, alone. Buy a Kong. Don't make a big fuss when you leave our return from the home.

We have a howling dog somewhere at the back of our house. I absolutely would call the RSPCA if I could figure out where they were because the poor thing sounds so distressed. It lasts anything up to four hours, always during the day. It also drives me absolutely bananas, it's so annoying! Not the poor dog's fault of course.

You've had some good advice on this thread so hopefully you'll get the problem sorted but your neighbours aren't being unreasonable to be frustrated by this.

It doesn't matter how much a dog is loved, if it is howling when you are out it is a nuisance. One of my neighbour's dogs sometimes barks when they go out and it is very, very annoying. If they weren't friends of ours I'd have reported them for it.
You have a dog problem more than a neighbour problem. You chose to have a pet dog so you need to sort out how you can keep your dog under control when you are out so it no longer disturbs your neighbours. Your neighbours will then no longer need to film your dog or report you. It is your responsibility to resolve it.

Many years ago our dog was doing similar. Our neighbours wrote us a note and we were mortified.

When we were going out we left the dog with the living room and kitchen. Shutting the door to upstairs and a second living room. We started leaving this door open and the problem resolved itsrlf. It was because he thought we had the audacity to go to bed without him that he was kicking off. For some reason he was fine if he had access to upstairs and i suspect slept on our bed

Try and find her a 'safe place' for these periods of time. I have two rescues that go out in a pen during the day happy as anything without a peep, but if I leave them in the house it's like night time in bloody yellowstone... when we go out in the evening they are shut in the living room to minimise noise but we will never stop them - too old and to ingrained. Have you tried a radio/ leaving TV on?

Would like to add when I did speak to my neighbour about the dog howling (heartbreaking) when left alone for hours he opened the door holding the dog in his arms like a baby!! Not normal!!

Dogs need proper training, for their own benefit

We have a howling dog somewhere at the back of our house. I absolutely would call the RSPCA if I could figure out where they were because the poor thing sounds so distressed.

Yep, me too. It's awful.

Hi @Gerbita
The problem with separation anxiety is that if your dog suffers from it, even 5 minutes is too long alone. Your dog cannot be left alone until you have completed appropriate counter conditioning - you need an APBC accredited behaviourist
www.apbc.org.uk/help/regions

Get a behaviourist to help you - one who is registered with the APBC.

Rspca cannot and will not do anything about a dog that is well cared for but is suffering separation anxiety, other than to advise you on training. Noise from dogs is an environmental health issue. Your neighbours are entitled to report you to environmental health if the dog is causing a noise nuisance.

It's hard to deal with a dog who has separation anxiety but a behaviourist is the first step.

Just wanted to say - my immediate neighbours' dog had this when I first moved in. They came and apologised to me (which is the right approach, IMO) about the howling, and said they had a behaviourist onto it. Sure enough, it improved quickly.

It doesn't matter have much you love and spoil your dog; the neighbours can't see that, and all they know is that a baby animal is distressed for hours on end. I work from home and it is utterly heartbreaking to listen to. So I'm sorry they upset you, but I can see their point.

I didn't realise environmental health would help. If my neighbours ever replace the present yowling fluffball with another one I will definitely call EH.

I don't think they did any training, they just waited for the poor thing to grow up.

My parents would be like that ontheboardwalk and you're right, it's creepy to watch people treating an animal like an actual child.

And god forbid they try training him when instead they can just fuss 24/7 when they're there, and make him into a frantic, anxious and aggressive little thing when they're not around. They love him so very much you see.

Not read the full thread. My dog had this. Behavioural therapist was mad, expensive, the advice was severe, unworkable and didn't work. What did work was no crate, stop treating him like a baby (he's a dog and we all babied him), giving him a teddy bear to love, stop making a fuss of him on entry and departure from house and leaving stuffed kongs. Main thing was to stop treating him like a baby.