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AIBU?

To think my friend was a beep or am I overreacting?

51 replies

Whitlandcarm · 01/07/2017 18:50

My partner and I were going out one evening and had booked a hotel etc. We didn't fancy going out in the city together as a couple so asked around and found that my friend would be in town. I turned down politely offers of going out with other people as thought it would be nice to go out with her as I hadn't seen her since I travelled 4hrs for her birthday a few months back.

I had agreed with that friend that we'd all meet for drinks then go out afterwards together. Sure sure, all good and agreed even on the very day saying how excited she was to meet up.

Partner and I send her a text asking when would she and her friend (who I've met) would like to come for a drink. Or we could join their plans. Read, and no reply, despite posting all evening including on a whatsapp group we're both in.

This left DH and I to go alone out which of course was fine, but I was just pissed off that she would do that. We wanted a nice relaxing night out with friends.

This friend was meant to be coming to stay in a holiday home (UK) that we're renting for a night or so. She's muffed that one.

How shall I go about this?
I feel like that I value her more than she values me if you get me?

Sorry needed to rant Sad

OP posts:
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ScarlettDarling · 01/07/2017 19:15

Why would you feel unsafe with your dh but not with your friend?

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Sparklingbrook · 01/07/2017 19:15

If my friend said she and her husband were in town and had booked a hotel and would I like to come along for a night out I would politely decline and be a bit Confused

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Sciurus83 · 01/07/2017 19:15

This is a bit weird, maybe she didn't want to be you and your DH entertainment on your date night? Rude not to get in touch for sure, but she probably thought it wasn't a big deal because you were spending time with your DH...

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MeanAger · 01/07/2017 19:16

Is it a city you don't know well and we're hoping for a tour guide?

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Sciurus83 · 01/07/2017 19:16

Partner not DH, my bad

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GrumpyOldBag · 01/07/2017 19:16

Sounds like she changed her mind.

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MeanAger · 01/07/2017 19:18

This left DH and I to go alone out which of course was fine

OP did refer to him as her DH

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Sciurus83 · 01/07/2017 19:19

Ah yes! Perhaps I am not going mad!

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Sparklingbrook · 01/07/2017 19:19

Partner in the first sentence then DH later on. Was there a wedding in there? Grin

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Decaffstilltastesweird · 01/07/2017 19:23

Meh. Wouldn't bother me especially but I wouldn't rush to hang out with her in future either. What she did is quite rude.

Not the point, but what did you mean by beep exactly? You know you're allowed to say SWEARS on here? It'll be a cold day in hell before I say beep instead of cunt / dick / cockbag on MN. I imagine you mean cunt, which I probably wouldn't call her based on this incident alone, but yes, rude of her.

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ALemonyPea · 01/07/2017 19:24

Good grief, you're an adult, type the swear word out, it's not netmums!

I can't make any sense of your story, or why you and your partner/husband/girlfriend couldn't go out as a couple when you've booked a night there together. Most odd.

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Maverickismywingman · 01/07/2017 19:35

I think you're making a mountain out of a molehill.

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VanessaBet · 01/07/2017 19:36

I get it, I think. My husband and I have the same friends in the main (we met at university and there's a big crowd of us) but it's rare we both get to hang out with them together. Quite often he'll stay at home with the kids when there's a night out, and obviously we socialise together at home loads, so it's nice to both get a chance to see mates and hang out as a group rather than being couple-y (although obviously that's good too, on other occasions).

Whatever her reasons it's rude to make a plan and then ignore messages about it.

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Wattyyyy · 01/07/2017 19:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 01/07/2017 19:49

Perhaps if your friend asks you to go out with her in the future you can tell her to Beep Beep you Beeping Beep. Grin

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TinselTwins · 01/07/2017 19:50

If a couple friend booked a hotel for the night I'ld assume it was for un-interrupted sex. If they invited a friend to join them…. I'ld still assume that was for sex

It's also nice to do things with friends, if that was the case there's usually taxi-share/designated driver arrangements, not hotel rooms.

Maybe she got cold feet? or was up for a 3some then thought you guys preferrd 4 ways when you asked her to bring a friend, and that was just too much company for her preferences? Wink

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littlebird7 · 01/07/2017 19:55

Have you actually called her and asked her?

For all you know she might have had a huge row with dp/dh, they may have split up, had bad news, lost the cat...I would hear her out before calling her a beep.

Also you should always give people the benefit of the doubt...you don't know if she has reasons. If she doesn't then you don't need to see her again. You do sound a tiny bit 'needy' if I am honest, and basing a friendship around measuring value is not helpful, as she may have been for you in so many other ways in the past...

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littlebird7 · 01/07/2017 19:56

been there for you

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ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 01/07/2017 20:09

I don't think it's "needy" to actually expect a quick reply from the friend (who enthusiastically agreed to this) apologising that she can't make it. That was rude of her.

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witsender · 01/07/2017 20:12

Whatever the scenario with regards going out with others, she was rude. So you're not being unreasonable to be cross about that.

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AddictedToDrPepper · 01/07/2017 20:16

Please tell us what word Beep was substituted for!!!

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OvariesBeforeBrovaries · 01/07/2017 20:20

Definitely call her and tell her she's a fucking beep Grin

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redshoeblueshoe · 01/07/2017 20:36

ALemonypea I thought it was just me
I am not understanding this.

Beepbeep

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PopcornNRedwine · 01/07/2017 20:47

I think Roadrunner might be trying to tell Wylie Coyote something

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Donttouchthethings · 01/07/2017 22:00

How about messaging her with something v simple like, "What happened?"

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