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AIBU?

To think DH doesn't deserve the better car.

39 replies

Iusedtobecarmen · 01/07/2017 13:46

I am learning to drive and I'm feeling optimistic that I will do and pass test this year. Learnt in manual and hated it,swapped to auto and it's miles easier.
DH drives. We have a big 7 seater manual. Nice car and we need it really with kids dog Etc and for long .UK trips. However,apart from that DH doesn't drive far. He's lazy and drives very short distances even to work.
I travel much much further om public transport.
I'm thinking ahead to when I pass do I replace the family big car with a new smaller car for me as it will be relaible. And him have a bigger car for family days out. Or do i have a little run around even though i imagine i will be driving more and taking dc places more?
He has said maybe could have one auto. Great idea except I'd be nervous about initially driving a big car. Plus I don't want him taking over as the experienced driver. Hes very possessive about the car (even though it's through my work and i pay for it). And often talks to me like a child regarding it. "Careful opening the door by that wall"etc

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Longdistance · 01/07/2017 13:52

You'd need s new car if you pass the auto test and want to drive, as you won't be able to drive a manual.

Get yourself a run around first to get some experience in.

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Pengggwn · 01/07/2017 13:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Iusedtobecarmen · 01/07/2017 14:00

long distance I know that!however he could technically keep the manual and I could get myself a auto runaround.
I'm a bit peeved tho that he will get to drive in a brand new car even though 99%of the time it's a 3 mile radius when I would have to make do. Can't afford two nice cars.

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Iusedtobecarmen · 01/07/2017 14:01

penyes that's what I think
Though it sounds petty.

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Saiman · 01/07/2017 14:02

I dont quite get this. The only car you can drive after your test will be auto.

Tbh when relationships turn into making decisions based on who 'deserves' something more, rather than what works better, it not good at all.

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Saiman · 01/07/2017 14:03

Also whats the insurance going to be for a new passed driver in a 'nicer car'?

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QuestionableMouse · 01/07/2017 14:06

Why don't you think about swapping the car you have now for an auto that you can share?

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Groupie123 · 01/07/2017 14:07

Both cars should be automatic so either of you can drive. As to who gets the bigger car that's a decision you will need to make after discussing with your DH.

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Fiona1984 · 01/07/2017 14:08

Don't worry about driving a bigger car, I started out with a saloon car. Just got a little old hatchback and I've noticed that other drivers treat little cars differently. I've seen far more people pulling out of junctions on me and driving aggressively.
I actually find the little car harder to park than DP's old one, which was quite long.

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Tinseleverywhere · 01/07/2017 14:08

If you are mostly driving by yourself for work I would get a smallish but good auto for work and keep the big car you have for long trips with family and Dh can use it. This seems to make more sense than selling the big car.

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Tinseleverywhere · 01/07/2017 14:10

Unless you really can't afford two cars I would have two as its so much more convenient.

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JigglyTuff · 01/07/2017 14:12

I really wouldn't get a brand new car if you're a brand new driver. Especially if you couldn't cope with a manual gearbox and you're nervous about driving a big car.

Not just because you're likely to ding it but because your insurance will be astronomical. A car that's 3 or 4 years old will be perfectly reliable.

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sparechange · 01/07/2017 14:14

Both cars should be automatic so either of you can drive.

This...

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Gillian1980 · 01/07/2017 14:14

I'd get a big family auto, unless you really need 2 cars.

You'll get used to driving a bigger car in no time at all. I prefer it!

It will become frustrating if the big family car is a manual that you can't drive. I'd not like relying on my dh to drive on any family days out and long journey.

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19lottie82 · 01/07/2017 14:15

Insurance doesn't vary that much between old and new cars. It's more to do with engine size and BHP.

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BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 01/07/2017 14:18

He drives a big 7-seater manual a maximum of a 3-mile radius when you're paying tax on it through your work and have a much longer journey? It needs to be replaced with an auto and he gets a cheapo run-about. Still, the fuel-costs of you driving a big vehicle like that every day could mount up surprisingly.

As a PP said, when a discussion turns on terms like "deserves"/"is entitled to" rather than what works better for everyone, it bodes ill. I think you're entitled to more say as you're the one who's paying for it whether you're driving right now or not.

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happypoobum · 01/07/2017 14:18

How easy is it to change the car you get through your work? If it's no drama, I would change the nice big car for a nice smaller automatic for you to drive. Then DH can buy a larger car for the longer trips that involve ferrying everyone about. I do agree with PP though that both cars should be automatic just in case you need to drive at any point.

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FP239 · 01/07/2017 14:19

OP, my son passed his test in an audi A1 2-3 months ago but manages to drive our massive kia sedona just fine and has never had any issues making the transition from smaller to larger and then back every few days. You will be fine in a larger car!

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averylongtimeago · 01/07/2017 14:20

You need to have two automatics so you can drive both cars if one is off the road.
The person who needs the bigger car is the person who drives most/furthest and had to fit the most in, not the person who has a penis.

Don't worry about driving a bigger car, you will soon get used to it, it's the same when you get any different vehicle.

Finally, don't let him bully you about the car.

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Inertia · 01/07/2017 14:20

When you pass, can't you just replace the current car that you pay for through work with a similar sized automatic through through work, you drive it, and DH organises his own car to drive himself to work? If it's an MPV type car they are generally pretty easy to drive compared to similar sized saloon cars- visibility is generally very good.

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SlothMama · 01/07/2017 14:31

If the car comes through your work and you pay for it then surely you have more of a say than he does? Replace it with an auto and he can get a runabout for the short trips he does.

I wouldn't worry about the size of the car I flip between big saloons to hatchbacks and the only real difference I find is parking it. But most new cars come with sensors so I wouldn't worry

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Quimby · 01/07/2017 14:49

just so im clear,

Harder worker/higher earner gets to pull rank in relationships now?

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Quimby · 01/07/2017 14:50

Oh it's actually a work car

Misread

Crack on

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Borangeisthenneworange · 01/07/2017 14:52

You need to forget about who deserves it and consider:

You can only drive automatic. Therefore if you need to be able to take the kids out the most sensible solution is an automatic family car.

Driving long distances is also best split so again a big family automatic makes sense for this.

Another thing to consider is that it's easier to find automatic cars which are bigger, family cars.

Insurance is another consideration however and a big car could be a nightmare for a new driver.

Fuel and running costs are also higher in a big car.


If it was my situation I would buy 2 auto cars, probably of similar age. A small one and a family one. I would then have the small one insured in my name and the big one in DHs. I would use the small one for my commuting trips to save on fuel costs and insurance costs (small would be my main car). I would use the big one if I needed to take the kids out or share driving on a long trip.

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blankface · 01/07/2017 14:55

Both cars need to be auto.

Imagine if you were on a family day out in the manual car and your DH was unable to drive for a myriad of reasons, you'd all be stranded.
If both cars are auto, you would be able to deal with the situation and drive the family to wherever you needed to be.

In time, you'll be able to drive a large and a small vehicle without even thinking about it, it only needs a little bit of practise to set your confidence, you'll be fine . Good Luck with your test Flowers

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