To think DH doesn't deserve the better car.

[Iusedtobecarmen]

I am learning to drive and I'm feeling optimistic that I will do and pass test this year. Learnt in manual and hated it,swapped to auto and it's miles easier.
DH drives. We have a big 7 seater manual. Nice car and we need it really with kids dog Etc and for long .UK trips. However,apart from that DH doesn't drive far. He's lazy and drives very short distances even to work.
I travel much much further om public transport.
I'm thinking ahead to when I pass do I replace the family big car with a new smaller car for me as it will be relaible. And him have a bigger car for family days out. Or do i have a little run around even though i imagine i will be driving more and taking dc places more?
He has said maybe could have one auto. Great idea except I'd be nervous about initially driving a big car. Plus I don't want him taking over as the experienced driver. Hes very possessive about the car (even though it's through my work and i pay for it). And often talks to me like a child regarding it. "Careful opening the door by that wall"etc

Hes very possessive about the car (even though it's through my work and i pay for it). And often talks to me like a child regarding it. "Careful opening the door by that wall"etc

Regardless of anything else, this attitude would not be something I would put up with.

Didn't even think about solution being two automatics. What a dope. Great idea. And when I feel. Confident to drive bigger one,I can

Dixie I don't put up with it believe me!!
That's why I want my own car

But having your own car isn't going to change that attitude, it's just going to mean you avoid him revealing it as often in that particular situation.

Not much I can do is there?he's not nasty
Just checking that I'm not damaging 'his car. If I have my own he cant tell me anything can he?i can scrape my door against as many walls as i like (not that i do)

If I have my own he cant tell me anything can he

It's your relationship, your choice. I can't imagine my DH talking to me like this though, whether it's his or not.

Blankface
Yes I agree. However if our manual car broke down now I'd be stranded anyway getbthe minute I'm a non driver. Same if we I'd an auto.
Think when this car is paid for then definitely go down route of two auto. It makes sense. Smaller one for everyday (me)and a bigger one for family stuff.
I've just got to see which car to get through work and which one will be the second hand one.

I've probably not explained myself well Dixie.
He doesn't exactly tell me what to do but talks about the car like it's his. Which I guess it is as he drives it. He sort of says oh be careful or watch the door or the
seatbelt doesnt get caught etc. It riles me and I say well I can do what I like as I do pay for it. I see it as ours.or i did. I don't now.
I guess he treats the car like personal possession the way i might say don't break my hairdryer or lose my bank card. Crap examples but you get what I mean.

Does he work

Yes he works full time. Always worked why?

You're being really childish about him telling you to be careful with the door and things. "Its mine i can damage it if i want to" whereas actually if you damage it and its an insurance claim then its his no claims discount at risk as presumably its insured in his name.

whereas actually if you damage it and its an insurance claim then its his no claims discount at risk as presumably its insured in his name

There's nothing to indicate the OP would damage a car door! You don't need to be able to drive to know that flinging a door open by a wall might damage it. And you don't need to be unusually emotionally mature to realise that that's the kind of thing you say to children, not your adult partner.

Though if OP does feel the need to say 'Don't break my hairdryer' to him, I wonder whether they've got in the habit of treating each other like children and it's not one-sided.

Well, Dixie. Thank you about the car door thing. I don't need to be able to drive to check when getting out that I'm safe.
But the hairdryer bit was a poor example(I did say so above). I was trying to think of an item that I own personally that he might touch and is be worried if it was damaged
Most things are jointly owned. Ok don't drop my phone or my iPad maybe?
The car I thought was a family thing, but he kind of treats it as 'his,' presumably as only he can drive.

And alittlepot,yes I agree I'm being childish. I suppose I feel a bit redundant having a nice car,forking out for it financially and not being able to drive it or even benefit from it. All that's setbto change as hopefully in the very near future I will be a driver too.