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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To adopt a stray cat halfway through a pregnancy??

118 replies

ethelfleda · 30/06/2017 19:42

A couple of weeks back a stray cat wondered in to our garden. She was skinny and covered in fleas and looking very sorry for herself. For a week I fed her twice a day but wouldn't let her in to the house and always thoroughly washed my hands after petting her (paranoid about catching something whilst 20 weeks pregnant!) I tried to find her owner but failed.

So I took her to the vets to see if she was microchipped. They told.me she wasn't and was about 2 weeks from having kittens Shock

So I brought her flea drops etc and brought her home to put her in the garden. I had become very attached to her... I love animals anyway but she has such a lovely nature and I had fallen in love with her!!
But as she was about to have kittens and the only safe place for her to have them would be in the house, I decided that it wasn't a good idea for us (again, due to possible toxoplasmosis risk etc not just from her but from her kittens) to keep her and took her to the cats protection league.

I had been keeping in touch with the woman who is fostering her and apparently it turns out she isn't pregnant after all (vet checked)! So they are making sure she is chipped and neutered and will send her to a rehoming centre. The vet said she is about 5 years old apparently. So after that rather long (And hopefully not boring!) Story, WIBU to bring her back?? She had become very attached to me and DH... plus we already have a cat flap (was there when we moved in) and I am fully aware that it would be for life and how long cats live for... plus any litter tray use would be sorted out by DH while I am pregnant (he has become very attached to her also)
I hate the thought of her being stuck in a rehoming centre and possibly not being rehomed and I know we would be able to give her a loving home here... would I be taking too much on?? I have no other pets or children.

OP posts:
LassWiTheDelicateAir · 01/07/2017 02:48

Enjoy your new cat OP and the rest of your pregnancy

Yes indeed.

SoMuchWaiting · 01/07/2017 08:28

OP this is a lovely story and I'm so happy that you're going for it Grin

Just a word of warning. If the rescue people don't know that you're pregnant then don't let on. We went to look at rescuing a cat and we we're told we couldn't as we weren't suitable candidates. They'd asked us if we wanted children, we thought it an odd question but said we did hopefully within the next 5 or so years. We were then told they wouldn't give us a cat as if we do have a child and the child is allergic then the cat would probably end up back in a shelter as no parent would choose the cat over their child! And apparently after the birth of a child a lot of families chuck out their cat (I know of no one who has done this!) We were so shocked! We were both childless and had no idea if we'd have fertility issues or not.
The very next day a stray turned up in the garden, very much like your story. We searched for owners with no luck, took to vets and then took him home and paid for all of the operations ourselves as we didn't want a rescue place getting involved after our unfortunate visit.

Over almost 5 years on he is a huge part of our family and our 2 year old dd loves him as much as he loves her. Go for it Grin

Original poster
ethelfleda · 01/07/2017 08:32

Thank you somuchwaiting the foster woman knows about my pregnancy as I told her that is why I couldn't keep her (when we thought she was having kittens!)
When I first took her over there I asked her to let us know when she was ready for rehoming after her fictitious kittens had been weaned etc and she was fine with it. Just repeated what other people said about wearing gloves when cleaning the litter tray etc Smile

OP posts:
SoMuchWaiting · 01/07/2017 08:43

Op that's good. I just wanted to let you know as you sound like you'll really love and look after Babs so didn't want something silly from preventing it from happening Smile

Maybe the national charities are more lax with their rules, we went to a small local but very well loved and respected cat charity. The big national ones were our next stop but then our boy turned up in the garden. These things are meant to be.

Original poster
ethelfleda · 01/07/2017 08:47

No I very much appreciate it! She would be going to a large rehoming centre if we didn't take her - I would imagine they would be more much more strict about these things. The lady that is fostering her now has her in a large pen in her back garden so I would imagine she is a regular volunteer for the cats protection Smile

OP posts:
SoMuchWaiting · 01/07/2017 08:47

I've just realised that 'lax with their rules' is probably the wrong wording and 'have a more reasonable view' would fit better.

kittytom · 01/07/2017 08:55

Aw this is a lovely thread. Glad you decided to get her OP.

I had a cat while pregnant with no problems. When my cat later died I accidentally adopted a stray and gave it to a rescue centre (we thought he was feral, later turned out he wasn't). Then he escaped from his foster home and made his way back to me... Cats definitely choose their owners!

It is so rewarding now to see his shiny flea free fur, and see him curl up on my kitchen chair.

SoupDragon · 01/07/2017 09:07

Awww... a happy ending :)

How can a vet misdiagnose a cat as being 2 weeks from giving birth though?? Wouldn't the kittens be moving inside by then and rather obvious?

Original poster
ethelfleda · 01/07/2017 11:36

Soupdragon I thought that too but when I took her to the vets to check if she was chipped, the receptionist took her from me and I think let a vetinary nurse do it rather than a vet? I'm not sure either - her stomach was very swollen at the time. The cats protection woman said she reckons she was just constipated!!

OP posts:
Rossigigi · 01/07/2017 11:39

Go for it! She's chosen you as her forever home and you Obviously have both fallen for her too

CarrotFingers · 01/07/2017 12:28

What lovely colours, she's like a tabby/tortie mix! Yay for Barbara. I have a cat, he loves sniffing the head of my 9 week old, just like I do!

HappyFlappy · 01/07/2017 12:32

And apparently after the birth of a child a lot of families chuck out their cat (I know of no one who has done this!)

I'm afraid I do - the son and DIL of a friend got rid of their two cats the minute her pregnancy was confirmed. They had got the cats about five years before when the got married, knowing that they wanted a family (and presumably knowing that the cats would then be surplus to requirements). I was STOTTING! Angry

HappyFlappy · 01/07/2017 12:34

her stomach was very swollen at the time

She could have been full of worms (don't worry - they will have sorted it!)

SoupDragon · 01/07/2017 12:46

I just thought that so near to the supposed delivery time, you'd feel kittens.

Original poster
ethelfleda · 01/07/2017 12:53

Happyflappy when I was researching about toxoplasmosis risks etc I read that a number of pregnant women get rid of their cats because of incorrect information fed to them by well meaning but clueless friends and family. This is the problem with people always having an opinion on other people's pregnancies. Even some of DHs family 'advised' against us taking her originally. But they also HATE cats with a passion so I was hardly going to listen to their opinion on the subject Smile

OP posts:
LongLostCherub · 01/07/2017 13:06

Damn, I have something in my eye here - typing through a mist. That's such a heartwarming story, lucky lucky Barbara and lucky lucky you that she chose you.

MyGastIsFlabbered · 01/07/2017 15:39

We definitely need pictures of Babs once she's yours and settled!

Original poster
ethelfleda · 08/07/2017 17:58

Hi everyone! So Babs is coming home tomorrow! The very checked her out and she has already been neutered. Apparently she has put on weight and her fur condition is improving. She likes being brushed as well so have brought her a brush as well as all the the other bits she needs (and lots of treats!)
Will put up a picture tomorrow... We can't wait!!

OP posts:
Original poster
ethelfleda · 08/07/2017 17:58

The vet checked her out that should say!!

OP posts:
OstentatiousWanking · 08/07/2017 18:04

Oh that's a lovely update Smile.
I will check back for more pics tomorrow.
I've got a rescued stray and he is a massive part of our family now.
I'm really excited for you ethel

SoMuchWaiting · 08/07/2017 20:08

Lovely update, I'm really happy for you.

It feels a tad odd being so happy and excited for a stranger on an Internet forum Grin

MagicMoneyTree · 08/07/2017 20:14

This is my actual dream scenario. DH is a dog person and I am very much a crazy cat woman cat lover. We have agreed we'll have neither. Except I'm secretly hoping for a stray to wander in that wins him over and we can't possibly turn away... sigh...

spaghettithrower · 08/07/2017 20:17

So exciting. Glad she is coming home to you!

Sadcatlady69 · 08/07/2017 20:20

Ummmm....I think you can probably work out what my stance is from my name....

Enjoy your new cat!

FuzzyCustard · 08/07/2017 20:40

Hurrah hurrah for you and for Babs. Lovely thread!
We have two rescue cats (who were stuck in the rescue centre for 9 months - hard to home because they are black) and they are the moist affectionate, funny and rewarding pair ever.
Enjoy your new kitty and your baby too.

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