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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To put my DS in girls pj's??

59 replies

Checkingusername · 30/06/2017 15:14

Hey guys!

Me again, I'm the poster who asked about a dress and received a unanimous NO! So I decided NOT to put my kid in one!

However, he has very suddenly grown out of his 0-3m clothes but I haven't got the next size up solely because he seemed to have room to grow, had a growth spurt & is now too big!

However, I've posted on selling sites asking for babygrows & have bed offered a few of them, however they are VERY girly.....my reasoning to do it?? Because they are free, he's a baby & wont understand & wont particularly care.

Unfortunately my DS's DF doesn't currently contribute (I am in the process of getting this sorted) & I had to foot every last cost for all the things my DS would need at the start & gave got into a bit of debt!

So anything free will hugely help!

So, after that long read.....AIBU to put my DS in free girls babygrows??

OP posts:
Ilovewillow · 30/06/2017 16:59

My son wore lots of my daughter's old babygros when he was small - he only wore them for bed so no issue to my mind!

Purplepicnic · 30/06/2017 17:05

I would've said no problem but in the context of the dress thread, I think you've got an issue or something.

As for the dress, there's nothing logically wrong about it but you can't deny it's weird.

OhDearToby · 30/06/2017 17:09

I don't see the problem with the pyjamas. I've just had dd3 but if she had been a boy she would have still worn her sisters hand me down pyjamas!

In fact I just bought dd2 some boys pyjamas. The girls ones all had questionable slogans on, the boys ones had robots so she got robots!

Crunchymum · 30/06/2017 17:14

I'm confused? Wasn't your other thread about buying your DS dresses?

Yet this thread is about you being so poor you have to dress him in anything you can get freely / cheaply - even if it is "girls" stuff?

luckylucky24 · 30/06/2017 17:17

This is very different to the dress thing. The colour of something should not dictate who wears it nor should the pattern. The dress thing was making an obvious statement.

I have put DD is boys pj when they have been in the sale. Noone cares.

fassbendersmistress · 30/06/2017 17:20

No, YANBU. It's no one else's biz but yours.

DS(4) has some pink striped pjs he loves.

Newborn DD wore a blue hat yesterday and she has a gender neutral name to boot so I had to correct a few 'isn't HE lovely's. Fair enough.

Not fussed what others think. Not wasting money on stuff she'll only wear a handful of times.

MyCalmX · 30/06/2017 19:28

Exactly crunchy Hmm

Okay OP. Whatever you say.

Crumbs1 · 30/06/2017 20:23

I think you are being disingenuous and may potentially have quite a serious problem in accepting your child's sex.
You need to be honest with yourself as to why you have a desire to dress your son as a girl.
Pink PJs are in no way harmful, neither is a frilly dress but.....a child forced into greeting the world as the opposite gender to there sex is harmful. Children need to learn gender norms to feel secure and confident growing up. Might not be trendy idea but it's true. Just as you potty train so you socialise your child in their birth sex unless you actively want to create problems or desire a public battering for no real reason.
Let the child grow up as a boy and seek help if that is something you find too difficult.

Madwoman5 · 30/06/2017 20:29

If you are that worried, wash them with a blue thing that colour runs or buy a dylon dye and batch dye them.

Original poster
Checkingusername · 30/06/2017 22:19

Grin too poor to buy my DS clothes! Sorry had to giggle!

I like free or cheap things given the fact he will simply grow out of it in 3 months, who wants to spend lots on clothes he will wear for THREE MONTHS?!

Yet because I would prefer free or cheap clothing for the above reason, I am not allowed to buy him ANY clothing because YOU have decided I'm too poor??

No, I'm simply being frugal given the fact my ex has contributed nothing & I had to foot all costs until now.

Please, do not put words in my mouth, I've not once said I'm poor!

OP posts:
Original poster
Checkingusername · 30/06/2017 22:23

I've absolutely no issues with his gender, again, STOP making assumptions.

Anyone who is close minded enough to say me putting my child into pink clothing is going to harm my child clearly cannot see that pink is a colour, it isn't owned solely by girls. He won't become gay growing up.

99% of his clothes are boys or unisex.

I only want to put him in pink for bedtime so he's warm

OP posts:
CommunistLegoOoOoBloc · 30/06/2017 22:31

You're not too poor to buy your child clothes, but you've been asking for free ones anyway?

Right.

EssentialHummus · 30/06/2017 22:31

I would've said no problem but in the context of the dress thread, I think you've got an issue or something.

I agree with this.

StripyHorse · 30/06/2017 22:36

From a long term perspective, can I add, my younger brother wore my pink babygrows and he seems to be fine. A pain in the backside, but fine. He's in his 30s now.

MsPassepartout · 30/06/2017 22:39

YANBU, he's a tiny baby. He won't care at all about it.

I only want to put him in pink for bedtime so he's warm

Although I would point out that other colours of sleepsuit are equally warm Wink

twattymctwatterson · 30/06/2017 22:51

Having been around on your previous thread I agree that there's a deeper issue here. You even admitted to having issues around your own gender on that thread I recall. In the context you've presented here there's no problem with putting your DS in second hand pink pjs, but I think you're being disingenuous

Original poster
Checkingusername · 30/06/2017 23:44

Hang on, I sense some aren't following mumsnet etiquette! Not to discuss a thread that I haven't asked a question to.

Could I politely remind anyone commenting on my other thread to stop, I simply stated i was the same poster so you knew who I was, I did not ask for opinions on an old thread.

I am not asking for free clothes, I am asking to BUY said clothes however if I receive free things, I won't say no!

Il say again, I am in debt because my ex hasn't been contributing, I'd rather clear my debt so my DS doesn't have to go without because I've been crippled with interest charges in the future.

So yes, free things come in handy!

I am NOT poor though, poor is when you can afford to buy enough food to last! Poor is robbing peter to pay Paul.

I however, have a VERY small amount left after ALL my bills are paid.

I'm not sure why I'm having to prove anything about my outgoings to be fair!

Now please can we get back onto the topic in hand.

Oh & lastly, unless any of you are qualified doctors, please refrain from trying to "diagnose" me, I asked for opinions on being given baby clothes that can appear girly, not opinions on my mental health.

Thanking you all so very kindly!!

OP posts:
DangerMouse17 · 30/06/2017 23:51

You need help OP. End

RebelRogue · 01/07/2017 00:08

Babygrows are fine. And stop calling clothes girly,even if they're pink,flowery or have lady bugs on them.

toastandbutterandjam · 01/07/2017 00:12

my reasoning to do it?? Because they are free, he's a baby & wont understand & wont particularly care
Anyone who is close minded enough to say me putting my child into pink clothing is going to harm my child clearly cannot see that pink is a colour, it isn't owned solely by girls. He won't become gay growing up.

I didn't read your last thread, but I don't think anyone (on this thread, unless i've missed it!) has said that pink clothing will harm your child or is a colour solely owned by girls.

It seems (by what you've said) that you've made your decision to dress your son in whatever colour/style of clothing you wish, so why keep asking? People will agree, but others will disagree. It's no use asking for opinions and then constantly arguing your point when some people have a different one to you. It's an opinion, not a fact. Opinions vary.

You clearly think you're reasonable, so just do it.

Original poster
Checkingusername · 01/07/2017 07:37

Danger you need to fuck off

OP posts:
Caulkheadupnorf · 01/07/2017 07:45

What are you hoping people will say? Reassure you to do something that you're going to do anyway? I can't see how if lots of posters say YABU then you'll actually say "okay, ill only put him in gender specific clothing"

caffeinestream · 01/07/2017 08:08

You're polite aren't you?! Hmm

KnittyFoxyMa · 01/07/2017 08:38

My son is 5, he has 2 big sisters and is in awe of them. He loves toenail polish because I always have toe nail polish on, he wears a mix of boys & girls hand me down PJ's, because I always bought his sister's mainly gender neutral or boyish things because that's what they preferred but my family also gave us some fab more "girly" stuff too. Recently the primary school changed their summer uniform rules (as a result of girls requesting to be allowed to wear shorts as an option instead of the gingham dress since they have the trousers/skirt/pinafore options the rest of the year.) The decision was made to make the uniform gender neutral. My daughter was immediately into shorts, but my son was equally immediately into the gingham dress. School were delighted. It certainly won't harm a small baby and if you need hand me downs, you should even think about being restrictive! It is harder for people to "guess" the gender of a baby, but if they get it wrong it doesn't actually harm the child. All of my children have been misgendered at some point and it never harmed them. I'd say go ahead.

DonkeyOaty · 01/07/2017 09:10

Thing is, people remember stuff. Like your boy in a dress thread, yes different username.

People aren't in a vacuum, sorry.

And you shouldn't tell people to fuck off Shock

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