To think it's not unusual for an adult to want to have dinner with her dad?

[GingerPears]

There's a group of people I went to Uni with whom I have dinner with about 3-4 times a month. It's a very casual affair, no fuss, no big deal.

Just yesterday, they set a date for the next meet up, and I declined with, "thanks, but I'm having dinner with my dad that night." The messages that ensued were all along the lines of it being unusual etc, with one even saying, "I grew out of that in secondary school!"

My dad is fantastic. He worked very long hours and often had to travel as part of his job, but he made it a point to come to every single recital, award ceremony, and even to the parent-child ballet event (he was the only dad there since my mum didn't want to go)!

This is also the person who read every single one of my GCSE and then IB textbooks in case I had questions and it wasn't convenient for me to consult a teacher, so why wouldn't we be close?

Do people really "grow out" of something like this?

Seems like it's time to have more dinners with your dad and less with your 'friends'. He sounds great and, I suspect you don't have kids yet, will probably be a great granddad in the future. They'll be jealous then of all the extra help you'll get.

My dad died when was 11, and I would do anything to have dinner with him. Not unusual at all. Enjoy time with your dad, he won't be around forever.

I think you do go through a period of 'outgrowing' your parent at a certain age.. but then you start a new relationship with them as mutual adults.

I loved both my parents dearly, but 21-25ish I didn't have much to do with them outside of family occasions, which were regular enough mind XD

But since becoming a parent my mom has become one of my best friends and i'd totally stiff my mates to have dinner with her.. I would with my dad if he were still here too, but he died 3 years ago.

I've just come back from lunch with my parents, kids at school my parents are both retired, I've had a lovely afternoon catching up child free. Your friends seem strange, the only strange thing is meeting the same group of people 3-4 times a month. I assume you don't have children?

I see my parents 3 times a week and text my sister & mum everyday and have since I moved out at 19, I don't think it's weird!

Your friends are the wierd ones, not you! Cherish the time you have with your Dad, my Dad passed away three years ago and I miss him so much....I would sell my soul to be able to have another day with him xxxx

OP and others, heart warming stuff on here, so lovely to see.

Once my daughter's work colleagues expressed concern when she told them she was going home for Christmas. 'Oh, poor you' they said. 'Oh no, I love going home to see my parents.'

Just as an aside, not to derail the thread, but does anyone else think this attitude purely arises when it is an opposite sex situation?
My DBro regularly has a pint and watches rugby with his Dad. They're close and nobody bats an eyelid at that. "Dads n Lads" mentality.
I meet my DM every month for lunch and a few drinks (and I'm not far off 40). I genuinely love her company, and everyone I've spoken to thinks it's lovely that we are close as adults.

But when it's an adult son going out with his Mother regularly, that seems to always be judged negatively ('Mummy's boy/ Manchild/ never cut the apron strings'), and when an adult DD likes to spend time with her dad, it's "I grew out of that at school" and, "It's just a bit odd really".

Maybe Freudian thinking didn't go out 100 years ago, and is more prevalent than we realise.

I just had lunch with my dad. Didn't even cross my mind that this would be considered unusual!

YADNBU. I'd do absolutely anything to have dinner with my dear Dad again (he died when I was 21).

I was very close to him and miss him terribly.

Ignore them and enjoy your dinner. Their reactions are really strange.

They sound very young. It's quite common imo for people in their late teens and twenties to not want to spend time with their parents because they are going through the process of becoming independent adults and separating themselves from their parents is an important part of that process. But once that separation phase is complete, most mature adults are able to have a relationship with their parents as independent equals.

The ability to have a proper adult relationship with your parents is a sign of emotionally maturity. (Not counting people with toxic or abusive parents, obv.)

You have obviously reached that stage of maturity, and they are not quite there yet. Give them time.

I flew to a different country to effectively spend one night and a dinner with my dad!

I feel sorry for those people who take theirs for granted. They won't realise what they will miss until its too late.

Another here who would love to have my Dad back to be able to go out to dinner. He died over 30yrs ago.
Your friends are daft OP. Love and enjoy your fantastic Dad.

Gosh I am jealous that you have such a lovely relationship with your dad- I wish I did and I don't think it's weird at all

This song is for those who would love a moment back with their Dads.

I am sorry, I am in floods.

I lost my Dad when I was 28. He was my best friend, I loved him to bits. I would give anything to go for dinner with him again just once, so do it, enjoy every moment and take no notice of your immature friends.

YANBU OP - I find your friends' reactions unreasonable, and very odd.

I have a wonderful relationship with my dad, he is the only decent parent I was blessed with. He's my rock.

DH and I have dinner with him once a week, and once a month, dad and I go out to dinner together, just the two of us. It's really important to us both to do that.

I've had people say that it's odd I'm so close to my dad, and yet barely had any relationship with my mother, while she was still alive. If only they knew the reasons why!