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AIBU?

To think it's not unusual for an adult to want to have dinner with her dad?

92 replies

GingerPears · 30/06/2017 12:15

There's a group of people I went to Uni with whom I have dinner with about 3-4 times a month. It's a very casual affair, no fuss, no big deal.

Just yesterday, they set a date for the next meet up, and I declined with, "thanks, but I'm having dinner with my dad that night." The messages that ensued were all along the lines of it being unusual etc, with one even saying, "I grew out of that in secondary school!"

My dad is fantastic. He worked very long hours and often had to travel as part of his job, but he made it a point to come to every single recital, award ceremony, and even to the parent-child ballet event (he was the only dad there since my mum didn't want to go)!

This is also the person who read every single one of my GCSE and then IB textbooks in case I had questions and it wasn't convenient for me to consult a teacher, so why wouldn't we be close?

Do people really "grow out" of something like this?

OP posts:

Report

sodablackcurrant · 30/06/2017 13:36

You obviously have a great relationship with your Dad, I think that's brilliant. Your friends probably don't have the same connection with theirs.

I would give anything to have one more dinner with my Dad, anything.

DPotter · 30/06/2017 13:36

I'm having drinks and dinner with my Mum and Dad tomorrow evening, a Saturday, and I'm looking forward to seeing them. My Mum is in the early stages of dementia so I want to see her as often as I can.
Good for you OP - enjoy your evening out with your Dad!

MERLYPUSSEDOFF · 30/06/2017 13:40

Tell your mates to piss off.

I'd love to have my Dad alive again to eat a bag of crisps by the TV and slag off a programme ONCE. But it aint gonna happen.

I'm sure if you said you were going for a massage or some girly crap with your mum it would be totally different.

MamehaSan · 30/06/2017 13:47

As someone who lost her Dad recently, suddenly and unexpectedly, I say go for dinner with your Dad. He sounds amazing, enjoy his company while you can

NamechangeNana · 30/06/2017 13:49

You never outgrow your dad!

As someone who has lost hers, cherish every moment, your dad sounds awesome (but I think you already know that!)

highinthesky · 30/06/2017 13:55

If you have a father that you are happy to sit down and have a meal with, then count your blessings.

My childhood memories of weekend meals (the one time we all sat down together) were an utter nightmare, thanks to my dad. My 2 siblings concur; if anything, are even more traumatised by the experience. We still avoid it where possible.

user1495451339 · 30/06/2017 13:58

They sound quite immature! Do they all still live with their parents or something?

user1498815345 · 30/06/2017 13:58

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

LogicalPsycho · 30/06/2017 13:58

I think it's lovely.
If my Ddad was half as fantastic and committed as yours evidently is, I'd love to have the chance to go out for dinner with him.
And i'm nearly 40

BeanSprout79 · 30/06/2017 14:00

I used to have dinner with my Dad as he has been my only parent since I was 4 so when I left home we would go out for dinner to catch up especially as he didn't have a 'special lady' in his life. He gave me such a good life as a kid and it was the least I could do to spend a few hours a week with him to give him some of my time. I don't think it's odd, it's just not what everyone does.

Trooperslane · 30/06/2017 14:04

I'd happily cut off my right arm to have dinner again with my Daddy.

He's been dead for 10 years and I miss him dreadfully.

You've set me off, now OP 😭

Trooperslane · 30/06/2017 14:05

for everyone I cross posted with.

kiwiquest · 30/06/2017 14:05

When I lived in London I'd always go out for dinner with my Dad or my Uncle if they were in town on business. Sometimes they'd bring old school chums with them. Sometimes DH would come with me too. Now I can rarely make it he goes without me. I appreciate my Dad and Uncle as people not just because we have blood ties. Now I have DD I never go out and really miss it.

MidniteScribbler · 30/06/2017 14:13

I would give up everything to have another dinner with my parents. I lost my mum when I was 16, and we got along so well. My dad passed a number of years later, and we were best friends.

Anyone that 'grows out' of dinner with a parent has never actually lost one of them at a young age.

reluctantlondoner · 30/06/2017 14:16

Wow, what a strange reaction. I am an adult and I love having dinner with my Dad!

Mupflup · 30/06/2017 14:16

I'd love to have a dad to go to dinner with...make the most of it and ignore your friends I say!

tellitlikeitispls · 30/06/2017 14:18

My mum left when I was 2, so my dad was the only constant in my life until he died 7 years ago. He used to visit me once or twice a month when I was at uni to take me to dinner. And as often as possible after that although I was too far away usually to manage it (especially when I moved to Oz!) How I would love to have dinner with my dad again...

Edenrose206 · 30/06/2017 14:18

OP, you're so lucky to have the kind of relationship with your dad that leaves you wanting to meet him for dinner! My dad was controlling, probably alcoholic when I was growing up, hugely successful and incredibly cold. He's a liar, a serial cheater, and married to DW No.3, now, who is 30 years younger. No surprise there! He would never think to meet me for dinner; I literally don't think it would ever cross his mind. I live a continent (and an ocean) away, by design. I don't think I'm going to suffer much when he's gone (80 years old now). Lots of these posts have made me sad for the dream of a father I never had...a loving one. Enjoy yours!

jarhead123 · 30/06/2017 14:19

I was very close to my Dad (he has passed away) and I think unless you have that relationship you don;t get it.

I used to have friends telling me my family were like the Brady bunch (in a fond piss taking way) and we probably were, we all got on etc. Rather than though than all hating each other!

YANBU x

TipTopTipTopClop · 30/06/2017 14:20

Your dad sounds amazing.

Ignore these silly women.

Decaffstilltastesweird · 30/06/2017 14:22

Eh? I have dinner with my dad all the time. What a weird reaction from your friends. Yanbu.

FooFighter99 · 30/06/2017 14:24

I would give my right arm to be able to have dinner with my dad. He died when I was 11 and I still miss him terribly 22 years on.

YANBU at all, your friends are idiots!

I spend a lot of time with my lovely mum, she's my best friend and we very often have lunch together and with my DD.

I feel sorry for people who aren't close to their family.

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user1487175389 · 30/06/2017 14:25

I wish I had parents who were nice to spend time with.

ProseccoBitch · 30/06/2017 14:31

I work with my Dad but before I did we used to meet for dinner every few weeks when I was in my 30s.

Trooperslane · 30/06/2017 14:31

Also DD has been out for lunch since she was 2 days old (not eating, obv!)

And I'm sitting in her favourite cafe eating for lovely MIL to bring her in after nursery.

She's nearly 4 and it would break my heart if she ever grew out of wanting to go this with me.

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