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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to shower alone!

49 replies

ZestyLimeAndKiwi · 30/06/2017 09:13

I love DD. She is a gorgeous girl and an easy baby.
I love OH. He is a gorgeous man and easy to live with.
I do not want them in the shower with me. However it seems more and more often when I am having a shower in the evening OH appears with DD in his arms telling me "She misses you!" Hmm
This also occasionally happens when I'm cooking dinner! DD is scrumptious and I would happily snuggle her all day but not when I'm in the shower! OH is generally good with her and takes over feeds when he gets home from work but I think he worries something will go wrong if I'm not there! I just need a little break and half an hour in the bathroom at the moment feels sacred!
Ahh feel so much better after that rant!

OP posts:
Sunshinegirls · 30/06/2017 09:14

Tell him!

JohnLapsleyParlabane · 30/06/2017 09:15

Tell him, and lock the door

Rumtopf · 30/06/2017 09:15

Have you told him that?
Having a little room and headspace for yourself is really important, even half an hour a day.
I'm sure your baby is utterly delicious but you are entitled to a little time off.

Sleepsforpeeps · 30/06/2017 09:16

I would lock the door - or if no lock the. tell him straight. It'll be the only time you have to yourself!

DramaInPyjamas · 30/06/2017 09:17

Lock the door and tell him. Otherwise she'll might get in the habit of being clingy to you when she's older

junebirthdaygirl · 30/06/2017 09:18

As he only sees her in short bursts he doesnt get tbe head space thing. Tell him loud and clear.

PurpleMinionMummy · 30/06/2017 09:18

Return the favour. He's being lazy.

ofudginghell · 30/06/2017 09:19

Tell him your planning a face pack body shave and some peace and quiet so you will be shutting the bathroom door to get the space and how lovely it will be for them to just play whilst your in there Smile

Original poster
ZestyLimeAndKiwi · 30/06/2017 09:21

We don't have a lock Blush
I do tell him. He makes a joke, something like "But we love you Mummy".
I agree about the headspace thing. I'm sure he thinks it's all rainbows and snuggles during the day!

OP posts:
amousehaseatenmypaddlingpool · 30/06/2017 09:24

Nip it in the bud now, DS is four and I rarely get to shower without him.

Having said that, getting them used to showers makes it much faster in the morning when you go back to work Grin

Chillyegg · 30/06/2017 09:26

I think id get my knickers in a twist about that sorry. Hes being a shit

livefornaps · 30/06/2017 09:28

Argh that would really fuck me off. Hate it when people make a cutesy joke of things which means if you don't go along with it you look like a tyrant. Just make a big sign that says "leave me the fuck alone" and put it on the bathroom door. Then pour yourself a large g&t and hide in there (oh, and I guess shower too)

DearMrDilkington · 30/06/2017 09:32

He sounds like a lazy fucker that doesn't want to watch his child for a few minutes.

I'd be furious if my partner kept doing this, luckily he knows better and is able to look after his own child without having me holding his hand.

Iamastonished · 30/06/2017 09:32

Get a lock for the door then. I have never been able to understand why people don't have locks on bathroom and loo doors. We all like to go to the loo or have a bath/shower in uninterrupted peace. DD understood from being tiny that anyone using the bathroom was to be left alone.

It isn't very nice for visitors to not be able to lock the door either. If you can't get a lock buy a rubber door wedge and stick it under the door when you go into the bathroom.

FizzyGreenWater · 30/06/2017 09:36

Spend a couple of days phoning him at work and insisting that he goes out of the office as aw she just wants to hear your voice SQUEEEE isn't it soooo cute, say hello to Daddy darling!!! then when he gets sick of it, look confused and say 'but surely you're happy to put aside whatever you're doing for just s moment, I mean I've said I need just that tiny bit of headspace and alone time in the shower after being with her ALL DAY and you don't seem to think that's acceptable, so surely two minutes of your time four times a day isn't much to ask??'

FizzyGreenWater · 30/06/2017 09:36

...and then get a lock.

FreakinScaryCaaw · 30/06/2017 09:38

Shock You have the patience of a saint

How old is dd?

averylongtimeago · 30/06/2017 09:39

Return the favour- every time he goes for a shower, quiet shit, doze on the sofa, dump the baby on him saying "oooh days misses you daddy!" When he complains, explain.

user1471545174 · 30/06/2017 09:41

Don't lock the door, if you fall no one can get in.

Tell him you really don't want company in the shower and you will only tell him this once, for the last time.

Rumtopf · 30/06/2017 09:41

"I love you both too, now piss off and leave me be".

BoredOnMatLeave · 30/06/2017 09:44

Yes nip it in the bud now. My DD has learnt to come in without DP now Hmm and if I lock the door she cries and hits the door. Be firm with your OH.

WomblingThree · 30/06/2017 09:51

Just tell him outright. "I am going upstairs for an hour's peace. Please do not disturb me as I have the baby all day and you need to spend time with her".

Tell him to grow up, learn to parent alone, and knock off the ridiculous emotional blackmail.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 30/06/2017 09:56

Return the favour- every time he goes for a shower, quiet shit, doze on the sofa, dump the baby on him

^^ This. Good luck.

TheAntiBoop · 30/06/2017 09:56

Yeah that's not sweet. What wombling said.

I assume you are home all day with young baby while he works. Maybe everytime he's having some downtime walk in and tell him his boss is on the phone.

Iamastonished · 30/06/2017 09:56

"Don't lock the door, if you fall no one can get in."

So, are you saying that no-on having a bath or shower should ever lock the door? That ain't happening in my house. That said we have locks that can be opened from outside using a coin.