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AIBU?

Unexpected wedding thank yous

53 replies

restofthetimes · 29/06/2017 21:11

not from the bride and groom, but from the guests. Basically saying thank you for having us, what a wonderful party, food etc and for sharing your lovely day.

Did anyone else receive these? I got a handful, mainly from the older, posher guests. Now I wonder whether I should have been doing it all this time?

OP posts:
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DeanKoontz · 29/06/2017 23:13

I always text the B&G and wish them a happy honemoon ect. Does that count? Do all my thankyous by text nowadays.

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Sammysquiz · 30/06/2017 08:56

If only they'd invented a quicker and more convenient method of communicating a thank you

But thanking someone isn't always about speed and convenience. After my wedding my elderly parents were thrilled to receive thank you cards from people. People rightly assumed that they would prefer this to a text or an email.

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DeanKoontz · 30/06/2017 10:57

etc

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astoundedgoat · 30/06/2017 11:00

We got them too. We hired a castle for the weekend, and paid for everything (i.e. accommodation, food, drink and transport) for everybody who came. It seemed much more straightforward to do it that way, and we got lovely thank yous - from the older guests only.

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Nikephorus · 30/06/2017 11:58

But thanking someone isn't always about speed and convenience. After my wedding my elderly parents were thrilled to receive thank you cards from people. People rightly assumed that they would prefer this to a text or an email.
^^ Exactly! Does it really hurt anyone to make that little effort as to send a card or note?

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TuttiFrutti · 30/06/2017 13:49

Yes! I always send a written thank you note after a wedding (and any party). The hosts have gone to a lot of trouble and spent a lot of money, it's the least you can do. A verbal thank you or a text is not the same thing.

One guest didn't send a written thank you after our wedding. My parents have never forgotten it!

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Yorkshiremummyof4 · 30/06/2017 18:42

I do send one if the host is obvious, if it's the bride and groom I normally add wording to that in the wedding card. However I often send thank you cards to friends if I've been to a firmal dinner at their house, I don't if we just go for a catch up and supper. I think the main point is their not expected just a nice gesture sometimes. Especially if you've cooked for 16 people (we have a large group of friends who we often go between houses), and lets be honest whilst we might look like everything is hand when friends turn up it's generally always a stressful day or 2 in the run up.

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AuntieStella · 30/06/2017 18:46

Yes, I always write a thank you letter.

Only about half out guests sent them (to my parents as they were the 'official' hosts, but they of course passed them on to us.

I think it's acceptable to send a letter electronically these days, as long as you know the recipient is OK with that.

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LatinForTelly · 30/06/2017 18:52

I have always written a thank-you letter after going to a wedding.

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FilledSoda · 30/06/2017 18:58

Yes, I pop a thank you in the post after a wedding, it's generally to the bride's parents as they usually host.

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GarlicAndOnions · 30/06/2017 19:17

I always write a thank you card - nothing elaborate, just a line or two thanking them for sharing the day with us and wishing them a happy marriage. Takes about 5 minutes, and isn't too personal to be considered intrusive or awkward for them to reply to.

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Goingtobeawesome · 30/06/2017 19:17

My PIL got a thank you from one of my guests. The invitations were from dh and I. PIL paid for the open bar and possibly the reception.

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alicebiscuits · 30/06/2017 19:32

Totally essential to send thank you after wedding - shows you care!

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weepat · 30/06/2017 20:14

Never heard of this. My mum & dad didn't receive any as far as I'm aware.
When I got married I said thanks in person to those who gave gifts to me & hubby. I only sent written thank you cards to people I didn't see.
Not aware of anyone complaining.

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Familyof3or4 · 30/06/2017 20:17

My husbands always sends one. Don't think we got any from our wedding. Now but not necessary.

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Gwenhwyfar · 30/06/2017 23:09

"PIL paid for the open bar and possibly the reception."

Possibly? You don't know who paid for the reception?

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NataliaOsipova · 30/06/2017 23:16

I always send a written thank you. If the invitation came from the bride's parents, I'd send one to them as well as the couple.

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Goingtobeawesome · 01/07/2017 07:24

Gwen - I've been married a long time. I genuinely can't remember for certain.

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MiniMaxi · 01/07/2017 07:34

We always said thank you in person only until our own wedding when we received a couple of lovely hand written notes after the event. Now we certainly try to do the same (though it's a bit late as most of our friends are already married!)

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Marylou2 · 01/07/2017 09:37

Pretty standard from me after weddings, dinner parties and anything that involves effort from others. Just the way I was brought up.

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jeezlouise85 · 01/07/2017 09:46

Neither us nor our parents received any as far as I know (maybe we didn't throw a good enough party 😜) but I wouldn't have expected any!
Presumably this is in addition to a Congratulations card, cash gift, new outfit for the day, transport to and from the wedding, possible hotel stay, etc, verbal thanks on the day, etc?! Overkill!

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sashh · 01/07/2017 09:56

I've always done this.

Sometimes more than one eg I thanked the relatives who hosted the Sangeet when it was the aunt of my friend who held it, then one to the parents for the actual wedding.

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Turquoise123 · 01/07/2017 23:04

Always do a written thank you- people will have spent a lot of time and a lot of money. Why would you not ?

Bur I also send a written thank you for dinner/lunch/ wahtever. Takes 2 mins

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Clayhead · 01/07/2017 23:11

I always send a written thank you - I'm not that old and definitely not at all posh Wink

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Gindrinker43 · 02/07/2017 17:47

I would send a thank you to the brides parents, also written thank you for dinner parties, posh lunches etc. Nothing wrong with old fashioned manners.

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