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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder what our options are if the coil isn't working for us?

55 replies

SharkiraSharkira · 29/06/2017 19:40

Since being with DP I have had several issues with my mirena coil when I had previously had a blissful 5 years of period and baby free awesomeness with it.

My new coil (the one I had fitted after getting together with DP) managed to 'migrate', causing me extreme pain and necessitating a removal of said coil and a very painful re-insertion of a new one. I have no medical confirmation of this but I strongly suspect that this is due to the fact that DP is *ahem rather well endowed and quite 'energetic' during sex, especially since I am now, only 3 months on, experiencing the very same kind of pain as before when my coil migrated Blush

So it would seem that maybe the coil isn't suitable for DP and I due to previously mentioned issues. But what is my alternative?

Neither of us want a baby.
I don't want to take the pill (previous migraine issues).
I don't want the copper coil (probably will have the same issue/I have heavy periods).
We can't use condoms (DP genuinely can only use special order condoms off the internet that are EXTREMELY expensive. We did it for 3 months in between coils and was a real downer on our sex life).
Dp won't get the snip (nor would I ask him to) and sterilisation for me would mean a) a rather invasive op and b) I would still have periods for the next 20+ years.
I hate the idea of the implant and I worry about the injection giving me the same migraine issues as the pill.

Help!!!!

Aibu in thinking that the coil issues are down to DP? Aibu to not know what to do to avoid periods/babies without DP getting the snip? Arrrrrg!

OP posts:
Tazerface · 29/06/2017 20:11

I don't understand how the size of his dick can have anything to do with your coil. It's in your uterus, which is stoppered by you cervix. The whole thing being fairly well anchored in your body.

Speak to your doctor. I never had a cessation of periods on hormonal contraceptives so you may be out of luck.

Try the implant or injection.

Original poster
SharkiraSharkira · 29/06/2017 20:13

Elspeth, I was with a different partner for the first one (DC's father). Had no problems at all with the coil with him.

Since being with DP had lots of issues. I don't know for sure if the issues are connected but I was having a lot of pain during sex and was told it had migrated, had it removed and re-installed, now having the same pain again! Very annoying.

OP posts:
mirime · 29/06/2017 20:16

The mini pill is OK to take if you've had to stop the combined pill due to migraines. It can have side effects of its own though and you may have to try a few versions to find one that suits you. I tried three then gave up.

Original poster
SharkiraSharkira · 29/06/2017 20:16

I'm don't think its actually going through my cervix Tazerface but he can definately feel it when we dtd, sometimes to an uncomfortable extent (for both of us).

OP posts:
silverrings · 29/06/2017 20:23

If you get migraines, you're not meant to be taking oestrogen as it increases the risk of strokes. I've been on the progesterone only pill for years and have never had a problem with it and they didn't change my migraines when I started taking it. Would you mind the drop injection? It's progesterone so shouldn't have any impact on migraines and is an injection every three months so useful if you're not great at remembering a tablet each day

ShinyBadger · 29/06/2017 20:23

If you have had a coil before and it was fine I would go back to your Gp 1) to make sure your coil is the right place. 2) to make sure you don't have an uterine infection, as you can have infections within your endometrial cavity and 3) make sure you don't have any other infections going on.

Aquamarine1029 · 29/06/2017 20:43

Get your tubes tied. It's a very simple operation and so worth it. I had it done 16 years ago and was the best decision. Yes, you'll still have your period but with most birth control you have it anyway. That's just the way it is, but the relief of knowing you can't get pregnant is wonderful.

Writerwannabe83 · 29/06/2017 20:50

I'm currently pregnant but before that happened I had the Mirena in for 12 months and for 8 of those it was hell.

Prior to that Mirena I'd also had one before we had DS1 and that time round it was bliss!

Because of medication I'm on the Mirena is my only contraceptive choice and I'm dreading having another one put back in after DC2 arrives due to my experience with the last one.

I'm going to ask DH to have a vasectomy as we definitely don't want more children. .....it's his turn now to deal with contraception Smile

louise987 · 29/06/2017 20:50

Progesterone only pill - I was in the same situation as you and was on it for years once I switched to it.

Also, it only took me 2months to fall pregnancy after coming off it (which isnt rare) so it's reassuring it doesn't affect fertility

RainbowPastel · 29/06/2017 20:53

Condoms can be blown up to the size of your head so don't know why he would need special ones.

Original poster
SharkiraSharkira · 29/06/2017 21:05

I'm not willing to go into graphic details rainbow but safe to say I have used many different condoms with DP and the vast majority of them do not fit without extreme physical discomfort on his part which is obvious a bit of a killjoy during sex. In addition, they split and break. The only ones that have not had this issue have been special sized ones that can only be ordered online at an extravagant cost.

OP posts:
Flisspaps · 29/06/2017 21:13

I was sterilised last October.

Fucking brilliant.

Didn't feel invasive (the idea of a coil and the fitting feels far more invasive!) and I felt fine the following day despite GA. The only pain I felt was from the gas used during the op and that dissipated overnight.

Improved our sex life no end.

Tazerface · 29/06/2017 21:30

The only way he can feel it is if it is being expelled. Or he can feel the strings.

You need to see your doc.

Luttrell · 29/06/2017 22:16

Honestly, he isn't pushing it out of place. It's not like he's going beyond your cervix?

The patch was pulled a few years back, I asked about it at my last appointment. Given that you don't want children, don't trust pulling out or apps.

Stopping periods is a nice side effect for some but never a given - lots of people don't get so much as a diminished one. It can't be guaranteed so there's little point chasing it - what stops it for one may not stop it for you.

Depo?

NameChange30 · 29/06/2017 22:22

If you don't want periods or children, I don't understand why you don't just get sterilised? Job done.

And if he doesn't want to use condoms or have children, I don't see why he won't get a vasectomy. Instead of relying on "anecdata" he could actually look up reliable information (BPAS have info on their website) and he'll realise that the chances of complications are extremely low.

SophieGiroux · 29/06/2017 22:32

You could maybe ask for the strings to be cut shorter if he can feel them? Agree with others that it seems highly unlikely it would be possible for the coil to be moved out of place.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 29/06/2017 23:12

The rhythm method ? Withdrawal ?

Works for me and I had 2 kids

I am over 40 though

Aquathest · 30/06/2017 16:46

@SharkiraSharkira
I have used the coil, mini pill and implant all with differing success.
Can I ask how you feel touching the implant is any different to being able to feel/ checking that the coil is still in place?

I cannot feel the implant when moving in every day life but I can obviously touch the site where it was inserted and feel it - it is on the underside of upper arm so I do not see it under the skin unless specifically looking for it.
The coil was incredibly painful for me - not just at insertion and withdrawal stage but also for the duration ( had it removed after a year of suffering).

Local anaesthetic is used prior to inserting the implant and I have not experienced the discomfort I had with the coil.

I would definitely recommend giving the implant a try.

Original poster
SharkiraSharkira · 30/06/2017 21:30

I think it's that the implant would be in my arm where I could feel and see it all the time whereas the coil I can't see or feel at all apart from when they actually put it in! I've never checked the threads, I can't reach that far Blush

OP posts:
BeingMePls · 30/06/2017 21:49

I've had two implants and they were brilliant. You really don't notice them there and also they did pretty much stop my bleeding.

However, now I have problems with flooding so I took it out and got a mirena. Can't comment on that yet as it's not been long enough.

LynetteScavo · 30/06/2017 22:39

Just how big does a penis have to be for condoms not to fit? Shock

I don't think cutting the strings shorter in this case would work.

OP, I think in your case sterilisation is the best option.

MojoMoon · 30/06/2017 22:42

Nuvaring? Not widely known by GPs so you might need to go to a specialist sexual health centre

www.nhs.uk/conditions/contraception-guide/pages/vaginal-ring.aspx

BeingMePls · 30/06/2017 22:47

Check you don't have fibroids. I did and they were pushing the Mirena coil out each and every time.

Just recently got them taken out so cross fingers!

NC4now · 30/06/2017 22:53

I was just about to ask about the ring. I don't know a lot about it but it may be worth enquiring.

expatinscotland · 30/06/2017 22:57

You really need to see a doctor. The implant might well work for you.