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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be very cross that school's incompetence may have made DS ill?

331 replies

user1498726699 · 29/06/2017 10:56

DS's year had a mini sports day on Tuesday. Parents were invited to spectate in the afternoon so DH and I went along. I noticed that drinks were not brought outside for DC (which has happened before so I had brought one with me) so tried to get DS to drink the bottle of water I brought but he was worried he would get told off so only took a few sips. This was a 2 hour event with no breaks. It wasn't hot but very overcast and sweaty. DS's hair was soaking. I went to the shop and left DH to wait for DS to come out afterwards.

On the way home with DH, DS said that noise/talking was annoying him as his brain hurt. DH put it down to lots of jumping around, gave him a drink/snack and told DS to lay down for a rest. He took himself off to bed and conked out very uncharacteristically! I woke him later as I was worried and he was very upset that his 'brain was hurting' and his body wouldn't work. He was clammy, and I realised that he was probably dehydrated. He then told us that he had not had a chance to drink his breaktime drink as some of the DC were chosen to practice for the afternoon event so he had spent most of the morning running around too. I asked if they were offered water and he said no. The only drink they were offered was after the afternoon event just before hometime when they were told to have a drink after they got changed. So DS did almost 4 hours of quite vigorous exercise with only his breakfast juice at home, a small cup of water at lunchtime, and a few gulps of water from the bottle I took with me.

DCs are only 6/7. Surely it is irresponsible of the school to not make sure small DC are hydrated during sports events in June?

I had to spend Tuesday night trying to get Dioralyte down DS (big battle as he hates it) and he had a high temp for most of yesterday with headache and lethargy so was off school. He is recovered today and has gone to school with a note that consideration should be given to this at future sports events.

AIBU to think this could have been preventable?

OP posts:
MackerelOfFact · 29/06/2017 16:05

Wait... so there was a water fountain?!

AndTakeYourHorseWithYou · 29/06/2017 16:07

FWIW I don't put suncream on DS unless we are on a hot beach for the day, I like him to get a tan

Oh FFS, if you had any credibility you just lost it! you don't use suncream, you don't provide a hat as the school requires, you stand around with bottles of water while your kid dehydrates....but its the school that needs a lesson in caring for children? Nope.

RhubardGin · 29/06/2017 16:09

I think skin cancer is a larger worry than being a bit dehydrated but hey ho, that's just me.

I can't believe you don't protect your DS skin from the sun because you like him to have a tan, shocking!

Orangetoffee · 29/06/2017 16:10

Parents with water bottle and an accessible water fountain, no sun cream or hats because you want him to have a tan, alright then......

Estherdove · 29/06/2017 16:15

I believed this until the tan comment.

NO-ONE IS THAT STUPID SURELY Biscuit

AndTakeYourHorseWithYou · 29/06/2017 16:16

Oh but they are.

Onhold · 29/06/2017 16:18

More likely he had a bug.

HipsterHunter · 29/06/2017 16:20

You are joking re the tan thing? It was only a couple of days ago it was splashed all over the news about how tanning is nothing but bad for children.

Onhold · 29/06/2017 16:23

He was only running around for a few hours. Not trekking through the desert.

Peakyblinders · 29/06/2017 16:25

How do you justify not giving him a hat when the school asks you too !! And the tan comment wtf??
You are asking them ask to agree they have made him ill but honestly I think YOU did!

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 29/06/2017 16:27

You don't put sun protection on him because you want him to get a tan.

Are you actually for real.

theancientmarinader · 29/06/2017 16:30

Your dh massively fucked up. Write him a stern letter and complain. If a child who has been at a sports afternoon complains of a headache on the way home from school, you need to make sure they have a couple of big glasses of water before sending them off for a nap. It was pretty obvious he was dehydrated at that point - even without your protestations of how could you possibly have known he did sport in the morning as well blah blah blah. You knew he was running around all afternoon outdoors and had a headache. End of, really. Your dh, what with all his specialist knowledge, should have studied parenting 101 and been able to deduce that the kid just needed topping up and the headache would have gone away.
Am lolling that the specialist thought the headache was from jumping around though. 😂
It's pretty common to deflect blame when you are feeling embarrassed that you should have spotted something earlier. Especially when you have been dealing with stressful situations.
Either way, dioralyte was way over the top, dh should have clocked that a headache was a warning flag for dehydration, and you offering to run a water stand for next year's sports day should fix everything up. No need for a forensic examination.

user1498726699 · 29/06/2017 16:38

Good grief. Ever heard of Vitamin D deficiency. I said a tan, not burnt to a crisp. He does take a sun hat to school. Did I say he didn't?

Where did I say my DH was any kind of specialist?

DS would not have left the field. He didn't know he could. He would have sat and had a drink halfway through though if everyone else did and water was provided.

OP posts:
youarenotkiddingme · 29/06/2017 16:38

Yanbu to expect them to have access to rehydration during sports events.
Yanbu being unreasonable tonne concerned he felt he'd get into trouble for having a drink.

But the symptoms your ds has described are also the same as the symptoms a lot of people (including me) have had this week as there appears to be a nasty virus going around

Kardashianlove · 29/06/2017 16:39

Err Kardashian WE DID NOT KNOW HE WAS DEHYDRATED THEN as we did not know he had done another sports day in the morning or what he has drunk that day.

Fuck me. How many more times. People want to find any which way that the parents can be blamed rather than the school don't they!

I know you didn't know that he had done sports in the morning but you DID KNOW he had done sports day in the afternoon with only a few sips of water and was sweating.
So even WITHOUT the missing his breaktime drink and the morning sports, I would have still thought that taking a drink to school (before the bike ride home) and also getting him drink lots after getting home would have been a good idea.
Obviously you don't agree.

I said in both my posts that I did think the school was to blame but still feel you have to take a bit of responsibility for potentially making a bad situation worse than it needed to be.

I just find it strange that even if he had just done the afternoon sports, you wouldn't take a big drink for him to meet him with at school. I can understand that you/DH maybe forgot/didn't think, these things happen but to keep saying that it's not something you think you should have done seems a bit odd.

IToldYouIWasFreaky · 29/06/2017 16:42

He was only running around for a few hours. Not trekking through the desert.

Yes! While I agree, the school should have provided drinks, or allowed the children to have water bottles with them, he was only doing "sports" for about 4 hours of the day. Children are supposed to be active!

WomblingThree · 29/06/2017 16:45

What planet have you lived on for the last 20 years? A tan is evidence of sun damage. Up to 2500 people died last year from malignant melanoma to which sun damage is a contributing factor. I can't find any deaths directly attributable to Vitamin D deficiency 🙄

SweetLuck · 29/06/2017 16:46

I am not surprised the school haven't responded to your note, they probably don't know what to say without telling you that you're being ridiculous.

SuburbanRhonda · 29/06/2017 16:48

OP, if you do end up going into the school to complain, I suggest you dial down on the rudeness you've displayed on this thread when people have disagreed with you.

SuburbanRhonda · 29/06/2017 16:50

And I'd recommend the book "Stick up for Yourself" to help him build resilience.

Not all children are comfortable speaking up but there are strategies to help them learn how to.

Sirzy · 29/06/2017 16:56

www.google.co.uk/amp/www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/40407734 Might be of interest for the OP

unfortunateevents · 29/06/2017 16:57

I said a tan, not burnt to a crisp - hmm you do understand that a tan IS a burn???

HorridHenryrule · 29/06/2017 17:02

People are being goady and trying to wind you up. You should have left the thread a long time ago. I was born in the 80's when I went to primary school on sports day all the children were offered a drink and a snack. I have noticed back in my day in the 70's oh it was a different time. I have heard that we are going back to the 70's because of the Brexit maybe your school couldn't afford to give the children water.

LynetteScavo · 29/06/2017 17:02

FWIW I don't put suncream on DS unless we are on a hot beach for the day, I like him to get a tan. Nor a sunhat although school insists on hot days or they have to stay inside

I think you did say he your DS doesn't wear a sun hat.

The school should have allowed the DC access to water. Your DS had access to water but chose not to drink.

It sounds to me like he had a virus, poor lad.

AndTakeYourHorseWithYou · 29/06/2017 17:07

Good grief. Ever heard of Vitamin D deficiency. I said a tan, not burnt to a crisp

You're a donkey.