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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Being latched onto abroad! NOW

351 replies

Poisongirl81 · 29/06/2017 07:20

Help! We don't want to appear rude but we are in Spain with my toddler and another couple have latched onto us for a week now...they have 3 dc and are different ages to ours 🙂 today we got up early to put towels down but they spotted us and so sad next to us...again! We can't move our towels now as it would be rude. We just want to chill and read but they talk all day mainly at us!

OP posts:

DartmoorDoughnut · 29/06/2017 11:08

Yeah I also thought breast feeding

Just say "we'd like to spend some time just the two of us today. See you later." No apologies!

CoffeeWithMyOxygen · 29/06/2017 11:09

You need to toughen up! When she says she'd wait to too I'd have gone with 'Why? You can go whenever you like, it'd be nice for DH and I to have some time alone' Look really puzzled, like you can't understand what she's suggesting.

Or just tell her to fuck off and leave you alone, either's good.

IloveBanff · 29/06/2017 11:09

Ecclesiastes "Seriously, tell them to fuck off. Essential life skill."

Do you mean that literally or do you just mean 'be assertive'?

WhyDoIKnow · 29/06/2017 11:11

If you don't like confrontation you possibly don't even need to say anything. Next time they talk to you, just give them a really long (I mean, hold for longer than is comfortable) stare, then turn your back and carry on with whatever you were doing. Hopefully that will freak them out and they'll back off.

Branleuse · 29/06/2017 11:12

how about "look, you guys are lovely and nice, and its been nice to have the odd chat, but ive got to be honest and you are really starting to make us feel crowded. Its feeling like its all the time. Im sorry to have to be so blunt, but we have tried to be subtle, and it hasnt worked"

astoundedgoat · 29/06/2017 11:14

barrygetamoveonplease I 100% though that this was going to be a breastfeeding while travelling thread.

Nikephorus · 29/06/2017 11:15

They just asked if we are going to the beach. I said no we will go later...theu said oh ok we will wait good idea when it's cooler etc.. ...wtf!
What you should have said was "yes we're heading off there now, we'll meet you there in a bit", packed up your stuff, pretended you were dropping bits off in your room first, and then when they'd headed off to the beach, come back down and settle down again. When they come back and ask why you didn't turn up you say "we changed our minds and decided to have some quality time just the two of us".
You could pretend now that you're going to your room for hot sex and then instead go to the beach for some peace. They might offer to join you upstairs but at that point you go with
If they definitely seem the type to be put off though by sexual invitations then you can guarantee peace by your DH quietly suggesting to Mrs Invasive that she pops upstairs with him for something sexual (you can use your imagination but I'd suggest something that sounds sordid) and that you'll join them in a bit. Worse case scenario she agrees and your DH ties her to the bed and leaves her there - if you do the same to Mr Invasive then your problems are solved for the day

KERALA1 · 29/06/2017 11:21

Holiday time is so precious cannot believe you have to even give head space to appeasing strangers.

Friends parents on cruise let's call them the smiths and 2 random couples had an argument as to who would be the smiths friends! None knew each other previously! Confirmed my view that I would never ever go on a cruise (plus get sea sick)

PlayingSardines · 29/06/2017 11:23

I honestly think it's more likely that Donald Trump will turn out to have been faking stupidity as some kind of sociological experiment for his Harvard PhD research than that the OP and her DH are seriously going to manage to say this.

MacarenaFerreiro · 29/06/2017 11:23

hey have just suggested we go for drinks while kids club is on. I said im.gonna just chill.

They just asked if we are going to the beach. I said no we will go later...theu said oh ok we will wait good idea when it's cooler etc

You're still not getting this are you, OP?? Either grow up and tell them to leave you alone or stop postong moaning about it... you are being far too passive and they are not getting the message.

GahBuggerit · 29/06/2017 11:27

LOL I was getting more and more agitated the more I read.

OP, listen, you sound nice, way too nice, the nice excuses clearly arent working so you really do have to get tough. This would absolutely infuriate me so Im afraid Id just have to say what PPs have said "Aww, well listen guys, its been so lovely to meet you, but we're just going to chill now and enjoy the last days of our holiday alone so like I say its been really nice to meet you and hope you enjoy the rest of your holiday" then just put your headphones on/go to the bar/get something to ear etc

You do need to be more assertive, you'll never see them again so do you really care what they will think?

TheMaddHugger · 29/06/2017 11:28

Sounds like some of my family.

They are 'More the merrier' Types and don't understand
I Just Want to Be On My Own. With a Book. Some Wine. My pets and some munchies.

Hissy · 29/06/2017 11:29

"Aww, well listen guys, its been so lovely to meet you, but we're just going to chill now and enjoy the last days of our holiday alone so like I say its been really nice to meet you and hope you enjoy the rest of your holiday"

Absolutley this!

Ceto · 29/06/2017 11:38

They just asked if we are going to the beach. I said no we will go later...theu said oh ok we will wait good idea when it's cooler

There's your problem, you gave them a way in. You should have said "No, but do carry on" and left it there. Then if they stick around, get up and go; if they ask where you're going, look puzzled and ask why they need to know.

RoseTico · 29/06/2017 11:41

Slight silver lining in that there is now a 3rd couple they seem to have also latched onto so pressure off and she is nice so I've been chatting to her.

I understand your nightmare, I really do. However if someone starts a thread complaining about the two annoying couples who wouldn't leave them alone at the pool today, it will make my day!

belmontian · 29/06/2017 11:42

This is why I never go to a resort, I have childhood memories of holidays trying to escape past latchers incognito. I remember a Scottish family who latched onto us and DM had stupidly given them our address. Within one week of getting back home they had sent a letter saying they wanted to visit us ASAP, to "relive old times" DM never replied and never fully relaxed until we moved house two years later.

Belle1616 · 29/06/2017 11:46

What a nightmare. I hope you mange to enjoy the rest of your holiday in peace!

zzzzz · 29/06/2017 11:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fruitlovingmonkey · 29/06/2017 11:49

Noooo! This is my worst nightmare. I would probably be too polite as well, whilst quietly seething.
Please lose your shit and shout at them today. Do it for me all of the nervous, socially awkward mnetters reading this.

Chattymummyhere · 29/06/2017 11:50

I would hate this on holiday (or at home) you've been too nice for too long you need to be rude. Never ever let someone even attempt to latch. This is why I like uk holiday you can just get in the car and bugger off out for the day somewhere to visit an attraction plus sites are larger than aboard complexes plenty of room to avoid people.

NellieFiveBellies · 29/06/2017 11:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ecclesiastes · 29/06/2017 12:12

Ecclesiastes "Seriously, tell them to fuck off. Essential life skill."

Do you mean that literally or do you just mean 'be assertive'?

I mean it literally. If polite assertiveness fails, you have to fight fire with fire. These people are being monumentally rude, so you have to use language they understand. If you're not a natural swearer, you could always reach for 'Leave us alone!' (or the Hugh Grant in Notting Hill variant, above).

I might be rude, but at least I get to enjoy my holidays in peace.

Ecclesiastes · 29/06/2017 12:16

This is the flipside of the 'Why Can't I Make Friends?' threads we see on here so often.

Expect a thread from some poor woman in three days' time, distraught that yet again her friendly overtures have been rebuffed: 'We met this lovely family on holiday and at first I thought they like us and were interested in being friends but then the wife started acting all bitchy...'

Lweji · 29/06/2017 12:21

My dd was breastfed until four and I was a breastfeeding counsellor for twelve years. When I read you were being 'latched on' to by a couple, OP, the mental images were absolutely shocking!

I wasn't and I still had some strange mental images.

TheWitTank · 29/06/2017 12:31

A firm 'NO we are spending some time alone as a family thank you enjoy your day' should be blunt but polite enough. Don't give them any wiggle room. Answer any plans questions with a 'not sure' and be non committal.

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