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AIBU?

Being latched onto abroad! NOW

351 replies

Poisongirl81 · 29/06/2017 07:20

Help! We don't want to appear rude but we are in Spain with my toddler and another couple have latched onto us for a week now...they have 3 dc and are different ages to ours 🙂 today we got up early to put towels down but they spotted us and so sad next to us...again! We can't move our towels now as it would be rude. We just want to chill and read but they talk all day mainly at us!

OP posts:

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Pleasestoplickingthetv · 29/06/2017 07:58

You either say something, or put up with it.

I would be very vocal once toddler was in kids club and say
"Hope I don't come across rude, but now toddler is away for few hours, we are going to sit quietly and have some times just us".
Or once toddler is in kids club, go back to your room and come out once they have found their sunbeds and sit way away from them!

LapinR0se · 29/06/2017 08:01

"Sorry but i need to have a private chat with my husband, we'll come find you later"

expatinscotland · 29/06/2017 08:04

Get a spine!

GinSwigmore · 29/06/2017 08:06

You poor bugger.
I once knew a family like this.
I had one child at the time. They had three.
In essence they didn't like each other's company or their kids and were using us to dilute the situation for want of a better word.
I was polite. For a year. Before going nc. Never again.
Now I myself have three children. I find being a five is hard but for the life of me cannot see how latching onto another family would help. I am no doubt an unsociable git but I like my own company and would not think of subjecting anyone else to my kids. They're my responsibility.
Holiday time is sacred. You pay so much. You need to not be British polite and make it clear you're just not that onto them.
Or put your little one on kids club and go for an afternoon shag (will they be popping up for that too?!) Yikes.

MacarenaFerreiro · 29/06/2017 08:06

You need to be very assertive over this. Forget about offending them. Or wimp out and put up with it.

twinkletwonk · 29/06/2017 08:06

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

WeAreEternal · 29/06/2017 08:08

Whenever they approach you... "hi, sorry but do you mind if we don't sit near each other/you don't share our table/we don't socialise today we're just wanting a quiet day by our selves today. Thanks"

Repeat every time the approach you every day.
Eventually they will get the message.

ems137 · 29/06/2017 08:08

We've been in this same position before and DH really struggles to be rude and not speak to people if they speak to him. I'm a lot stronger and can easily ignore people or make it known I can't be arsed.

There's no easy way to do it, you either have to tell them straight that you would like time alone or you have to ignore them when they constantly speak to you whilst reading.

GinSwigmore · 29/06/2017 08:08

into them
(because you're onto them).

Ceto · 29/06/2017 08:08

So, you don't want to sit by the pool with this family there. So don't do it. There are other things to do on holiday.

Screwinthetuna · 29/06/2017 08:10

That's tricky. I think shesaid has the best idea. Go OTT about how you can for some alone time as you barely get any family time at home. You could go as far as saying your DH is going to be working away for months on end when you get back...or that you are trying to save your marriage.

Decaffstilltastesweird · 29/06/2017 08:14

There's nothing rude about being honest and saying you just want to read your book. They sound like they're being annoying.

Elephant17 · 29/06/2017 08:15

Oh. My. HOW annoying! My worst nightmare.

You have a toddler, this holiday means a lot you- having a bit of alone time with your partner is essential. You're going to have to say something, maybe just head to the beach with 'ok, we're heading to the beach now- need have a bit of couple time while DC is being looked after! We hardly ever get time to spend with just each other these days so going to try and spend the last few days just me and DH'... you won't have said anything about them personally but still gets the point across that you want to be by yourselves.

People like this should plan holidays with pre existing friends, if they can't bear the thought of socialising amongst their own family for 5 minutes. It's ridiculous to assume everyone wants to do the same as them. why would you put your own child in the day care if you wanted to spend the day with a stranger's DC?! Ludicrous people.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 29/06/2017 08:15

I think if you really want to get away from them you wlil HAVE to move away from the pool, go out for the day, find another place to relax!
You can't expect them to fuck off away if you're not giving them clear indications to do so - so either be blunt (and sod caring about appearing rude) or take yourselves off out of the way.

NataliaOsipova · 29/06/2017 08:15

Seriously, tell them to fuck off. Essential life skill.

I agree with this. It's hard, especially if people are trying to be nice, but it needs to be done, as politely as possible.

In essence they didn't like each other's company or their kids and were using us to dilute the situation for want of a better word.

I think this is spot on - pound to a penny this is what's happening here. They'll be a family who usually go on holiday with others and, for whatever reason, are on their own this time and they are looking for someone to fill the void.

Huge sympathy by the way. My DH is an antisocial whatsit and manages to send out "fuck off" vibes quite generally. This clearly has its downsides, but I've never been put in the position you find yourself in. I'm sure I'd hate it too!

rizlett · 29/06/2017 08:16

Whatever they feel about what you say to them is down to them to deal with. Please don't not say anything because you worry about how they feel.

Their feelings are not more important than yours.

Use this as a practice to stop being over considerate to people.

Say 'I'm not being rude but..... ' and then say you want to have time together as a family without anyone else.

MacarenaFerreiro · 29/06/2017 08:17

Concocting elaborate stories about marital difficulties or heavy hint dropping isn't going to work. Far too subtle for a situation which has been going on for SIX DAYS without any hints being taken and without the OP or her partner who appears to have lost his voice in all this finding their assertive gene.

OP you need to get your big girl pants on and tell them straight.

rizlett · 29/06/2017 08:17

You don't have to explain to them why either as that just weakens your words.

Whowouldfardelsbear · 29/06/2017 08:20

Have you met anyone else there you could introduce them to, and pass them on?

Nancy91 · 29/06/2017 08:22

Haha you remind me of myself, I don't want to commit myself to hanging out with or even making small talk with anyone on holiday.

When this happens to me it's a matter of headphones in, or pretending to sleep or putting my back to them and talking to my partner about personal stuff they can't join in with.

Can you be annoying? Put on a really annoying laugh? Play really shit music? Keep spilling your drink on them or splashing them at the pool? Every time they eat, ask for a bite and then take loads? Get blind drunk and tell them outright you want to be alone?

GrumpyOldBag · 29/06/2017 08:22

Invite them back to your hotel room for hot couples sex NOW.

(Warning, there is a risk this could backfire).

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 29/06/2017 08:23

I mean, if you really can't bring yourselves to be rude, just say to them that you'd actually like some time to yourselves in your last 2 days of holiday, and you don't really want to have to talk, as you came for rest and relaxation. Also, you're not there to co-parent their children, especially as you've put your own in childcare to get said R&R.

It's not particularly rude, but it is straight talking.

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Nancy91 · 29/06/2017 08:24

If you're with your partner, go extra with the kissing and general PDAs until they become uncomfortable.

NataliaOsipova · 29/06/2017 08:24

Invite them back to your hotel room for hot couples sex NOW.

(Warning, there is a risk this could backfire).

WhatchaMaCalllit · 29/06/2017 08:25

Just say to them "Hi David & Jane*, as these are the last few days of our holidays we want to spend them just as our family, together. You know how it is with holidays being so expensive nowadays, and just wanting to chill out alone on holidays. Even as a family we need alone time. You understand, right?"
*names have been changed
Alternatively, can you remove their towels from their booked sunbeds and pop them somewhere else on other sun beds? They are clearly waiting for you to make your move each morning, so make your move and when they come down to 'book' their sunbed, say "Would you mind giving us some space please? We're all on holiday and need to wind down."
Perhaps you could make a joke of it "Well, we'll need another holiday after this one - you know, because this wasn't the most relaxing holiday after all" If they ask why "Because you guys aren't giving us any space to relax"...
Time to hoike up the big-girl bikini bottoms (an alternative to big girl pants), and sort out the last few days of your holiday!

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