My feed

to access all these features


To wonder if the country will hold a minute's silence for this victim or

74 replies

JunefromAccounts · 28/06/2017 16:22

Does it not matter because it was a "domestic incident" and not a terrorist attack

Daily Mail link

OP posts:
stopfuckingshoutingatme · 28/06/2017 20:59

Also the minute silences are also a mark of respect for the others involved in the mass incidents

I don't think your post was the right tone OP as it made it sound like people don't care

They do . I have noticed it too

Swallalala · 28/06/2017 21:00

"oh lots of women are murdered. It just happens"

Has anyone said that? I agree with DV you are being antagonistic. No life is worth more than another and everyone has a cause close to their heart, unfortunately it's just not possible for us to mourn everyone who dies, what kind of life would that be for us?? However I assume you'll turn this around with 'what kind of a life do these victims have' etc.

JunefromAccounts · 28/06/2017 21:21

Don't think you're getting the point, Swall.

OP posts:
MipMipMip · 28/06/2017 21:22

I agree that we need something similar to the don't walk by approach. I would guess part of the reason we don't is that the state can forcibly remove children if they are in danger. They can't with consenting women (or men) even when there is coercion involved. The victim has to be prepared to leave.

And I feel the two minutes silence should be reserved for armistice day. There's more than enough lives lost through war for it to have something different. Commemorate other tragedies too, just in a different way.

sloanewarrior · 28/06/2017 21:32

I'm a bit surprised by the response to this post, though perhaps I'm misunderstanding it.

I took the OP as posing the question rhetorically, not asking seriously why we don't have a minute's silence for domestic violence victims (or shall we say intimate partner murder).

Violence against women is a part of our culture, it is so normal that it barely causes a ripple other than within the victim's immediate community.

Did anyone else read this report with two (adult) brothers talking about the loss of their mother and sister at their father's hands? Link:

The brothers talk a lot about how they felt the attack was minimised in the media and how they have noticed this in other reporting too.
"On the day of the attack, the police told the public that incidences such as these are “incredibly rare”. But just six weeks later, in County Cavan, Ireland, a woman called Clodagh Hawe and her three children, Liam, 13, Niall, 11, and six-year-old Ryan, were killed by Alan, her husband and the boys’ father. “And who knows,” Luke says, “that man in Ireland may have read one of the articles that described our dad as a nice guy.”

We excuse and accept violence against women. That's why it passes more or less unnoticed.

JunefromAccounts · 28/06/2017 21:41

Sloanewarrior - spot on.

Thank you.

OP posts:
TheFirstMrsDV · 28/06/2017 22:34

You're just posting true to form

what the fuck does this mean? Hmm

we are furious about the level of violence towards women

There are too many silences as it is. Why would another one achieve anything? We need better preventative strategies, more refuges, early education, more social housing, DV outreach workers and improved prosecution rates.

Why do you want a mawkish gimmick?

poweredbybread · 28/06/2017 23:37

Junefromaccounts I think you are making a valid point. That kind of murder is an act extreme violence/ terror. Her violent murder impacts on her family and all in her school community and beyond. We all stand together against terrorism. It's all barbaric. Goodness knows what this women went through as she was being attacked. There are no words

AnnieOH1 · 28/06/2017 23:41

I don't think it necessarily comes down to numbers either. We've had two recent (ish) local events, one where a teenager was knocked down pushing her friend out of the way saving friend's life, and the other a horrible murder. Both had local minutes silences held.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 29/06/2017 07:17

OP the Hugh number of murders against women is under reported

The teen stabbings do get
More reporting with regards to the volume

Which is right as they are someone's child

But why doesn't The Times for example have a front page saying 'one woman killed by her partner every 4 days '

It's like a murky little secret

The only people that report are the DM ! But that because they love a murder Sad

SoupDragon · 29/06/2017 07:23

I've not noticed many minutes of silence for each young man/teenager stabbed to death either.

Or any other murder.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 30/06/2017 22:45

And another poor girl
Who also had reported him

MrBobDobalina · 01/07/2017 08:07

I know Sad

And it's not made much of a ripple on the news. Because it's normal. Only the horrible public nature made it a big deal.

SoupDragon · 01/07/2017 08:15

Very few single murders make so much as a ripple on the news.

MrBobDobalina · 01/07/2017 08:27

Well, no. But the point of this thread is that violence against women is an epidemic, and we think it's normal.

ethelfleda · 01/07/2017 08:49

I won't click on a daily mail link so I have no idea what story you are referring to!

SoupDragon · 01/07/2017 08:55

I don't think "we" think it's normal at all.

Society has become inured to single acts of violence full stop.

This thread is ridiculous because it is trying to compare a single act which kills multiple people with many single acts. They are not the same at all. Classic "apples and oranges" scenario

MrBobDobalina · 01/07/2017 09:12

OK Soup, you've convinced me. Yay you!

corythatwas · 01/07/2017 09:13

OP, I really don't see why you lash out at the one poster who made an actual productive suggestion about honouring the victims of DV- which is more than you did. MrsDV's suggestion about 1 minute's silence on IWD was a good one, which you clearly had no interest at all in acknowledging.

Do I get the impression, OP, that your main aim with this thread was not to suggest ways of drawing attention to DV, but rather to draw attention to the (supposed) fact that nobody else cares as much about these matters as you do?

SoupDragon · 01/07/2017 09:17

OK Soup, you've convinced me. Yay you!

Er... OK Confused so sorry for putting forward a view that doesn't coincide with yours.

corythatwas · 01/07/2017 09:20

And yes, I absolutely agree about newspaper reporting. We need a complete change of culture. I don't think there are many mumsnetters who wouldn't agree with that.

But on the positive side, the Relationship thread on MN is one of the strongest, most consistent anti-DV and anti-abuse resources online. People spend their time tirelessly and constantly pointing out that no level of abuse is right, giving tips on how to recognise warning signs and pointing other people in the direction of help. I don't know of a stronger voice saying DV MATTERS.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 01/07/2017 17:15


A young girl was stabbed to death in her boyfriends car in a car park in Chatham , Kent

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 01/07/2017 17:16

Unfortunately the DM report most of the cases / nut because they are especially anti violence but they do love a murder Hmm

GreenHillsOfHome · 01/07/2017 17:20


People are murdered/killed daily in the UK. Through 'actual' murder or drunk drivers or horrific accidents.

They're all sad but you can't hold minute silences for every one of them or you'd be doing it every day (more than once).

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.