Greedy friend

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This is very petty but has been annoying me a bit...

Recently went on hol with several others, it was good. One girl I'm particularly close friends with (at the risk of sounding horrible), can be really greedy with food.... and it's starting to annoy me. Just silly things e.g. We'd buy an expensive cake for everyone in the group, one person wouldn't have theirs but it would still be gone - she's eaten it on the sly. Or we'd order a few portions of crisps/chips/sharing dessert to share and unless you're completely on it, it's all gone (she's eaten it). I just found it a bit exhausting to keep monitoring it to ensure that I had some!

I would never mention this to her but how hard is it to share?!

On a practical basis could you say get 5 plates and divvie it up at the start to stop her helping herself to other people's share?

But if there was a slice leftover then there should be no problem with her eating it unless you wanted it for yourself?

Stop buying food to share. Buy individual cakes and if someone doesn't want one then there isn't one spare which sneaky friend will eat later.

If you order chips and she doesn't want any then offer her a chip once. If she goes to take any more so you're really hungry and if she wants some then should have ordered a portion.

Sorry but I would have given her an ear bashing by now. I'm obviously not as nice as you!

But if there was a slice leftover then there should be no problem with her eating it unless you wanted it for yourself?

OP said "one person wouldn't have theirs but it would still be gone - she's eaten it on the sly"

Perhaps the person whose slice of cake it was wanted to eat it later on? Not everyone wants to have their cake and eat it at the same time.

A simple "Do you want this cake or can I have it?" would have been polite (and normal).

I would find this so annoying!
Either don't order anything to share anymore, or take your share before your friend has a chance to clear the plate.
Re leftovers, I would call her up on it: hey friend, I would like some of the leftovers as well, let's ask everybody if they want some and divide it! Now way she can say no (hopefully)

I'm bloody greedy.

I just about manage to stop myself launching into the pie with friends. But with close family and DH I'll definitely pig out and shamelessly try to get the bigger portion. Terrible behaviour. They don't seem to mind though. I'm the only person I know who not only not gives their child the best bit of something but will actively ask if she's finished and I can have the rest of hers.

This is my shame.

this is one of those things where if you were all blokes, and one bloke did this, someone else would just shout "which greedy bastard ate the last slice of cake?!?!"

Argh, as someone who actually likes to taste their food and eat slowly (as is recommended) it's so annoying to be eating opposite someone who hoovers most of a sharing platter and then eyes the rest agonizingly. I love food & live for it but that's precisely why I like to take my time. What's the point in ordering something nice if it is all gone in 20seconds? Plus, the whole idea of "sharing" platters is to spend a convivial moment with friends, no? To chat and say "ooh, try this one!" and have some nice wine and some nice times. Not to stuff yourself with your own portion & then see if there's anything else up for grabs. As well as spoiling the atmosphere, it's also unfair if you are splitting the bill. I'm not advocating competitive under eating either - I think that sharing food with friends should be a moment to ENJOY the food and savour it. Picking also makes for a miserable atmosphere.

Unfortunately so often in Britain we seem unable to get this balance right. I don't enjoy sharing with pigs or pickers so I like having my own main course and if it tales me longer to eat it then tough. Oh and re. the friend's secret cake - eating in the op - eating on "the sly" is always worrying - it points to secret binge-eating. Just tell her you're fed up of it, I don't think you need to sugar coat it.

this is one of those things where if you were all blokes, and one bloke did this, someone else would just shout "which greedy bastard ate the last slice of cake?!?!"

Maybe you need to adopt this approach!

it's so annoying to be eating opposite someone who hoovers most of a sharing platter and then eyes the rest agonizingly

Oh, that resonated. My friend isn't greedy (as in doesn't eat more than her fair share) but she did this whenever I went round and took 2 bars of chocolate.

She would practically inhale hers, I'm surprised she didn't choke on it. I'd eat mine slowly, savouring each square and would have around 3/4 of it left by the time she'd finished hers.

Being a small-breasted woman I finally got an insight into how big-boobed women feel around certain types of men. I'd be talking to her but her eyes weren't on me, they were firmly focused on my Cadbury bar She'd even let out a huge sigh of longing/despair when I finally ate the last piece.

She's slimmer than me btw, no F word shaming here

Recently while away at CP with two friends we bought three different types of pizza 'to share'. I divided up each pizza into thirds and put a slice of each pizza on each of our plates. One friend S looked most put out, "Oh. I thought we'd share?"
I said I thought that was the best way to do it.
Found out later from other friend that usually S's idea of sharing was divide up the food then grab and eat far more than her actual share as fast as possible!

@llangennith - aaaaaahhhhh, this is my nightmare!!!! As if she had the cheek to claim that divvying up the food equally did not amount to "sharing"....! What is wrong with some people?!

And @music - yes this is what i'm talking about!! Of course everyone can have a day where chocolate hits the "sweet spot" and you may end up eating faster than usual, but then LIVE WITH YOUR CHOICE and leave the other to enjoy their chocolate at their pace! I'm sure her staring dampens your enjoyment as it just makes things awkward.

I find this trait really annoying- and difficult to break

I have a friend with a daughter who is 14 and like this. It isn't an eating disorder, she doesn't want for anything but anytime there is anything 'for free' and particularly food, she will take handfuls and handfuls and not think of anyone else. My friend is mortified and has told her again and again but it is really difficult to stop her doing it. My friend does warn her before meals with us now (after a terrible Christmas where she was offered a chocolate Santa from a bowl at another friends house and continued to go back and back to the bowl until all her nice christmas goodies were gone!) but it's a worry that she may be annoying her friends or classmates as she is shameless and doesn't care if things are shared out equally!

Well - unfortunately I don't think there is any nice way of telling your friend's daughter - other than generosity is a lovely & attractive quality whereas the behaviour she's displaying is the opposite! Gluttony is very very unattractive - one because we're not actually meant to gorge ourselves like that, the body can't handle it, and because it usually results in depriving other people of things - like your friend's Christmas goodies. She should be made aware that unfortunately unlike other careless behaviour that is the type of thing that can stick in people's minds & that she really doesn't want to be associated with that.