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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think someone has stolen my jeans?

42 replies

WildBelle · 28/06/2017 11:02

I've been going mad searching the house for my favourite jeans. Literally spent a whole day looking for them, and it's not a big house so there's not many places they could be. Checked all the obvious places and the less obvious ones too, like in the kids' drawers in case I accidentally put them in there. They are nowhere in the house.

I remember the last time I wore them and since that time only two people other than my children have been in the house. Firstly, my cleaner, who's worked for me for a while and has never taken anything, I trust her 100%. Secondly, my dd's friend who is 13 and has previously stolen from me (there was a thread about it a while back under a different name), which I forgave her for as I realised she's a bit of a messed up kid and I didn't want dd to lose her friend. So obviously she's my prime suspect but it would be odd if she had taken them as they wouldn't even fit her. I did ask her if she had taken them (which felt justified given that she'd stolen from me before) and she denied it, but she hasn't been over since then. So she either feels guilty or offended that I've accused her.

I'm really gutted, I'd never found a pair of jeans I liked so much, and I can't replace them as they are no longer for sale and can't find any on eBay either :( I keep hoping they will turn up but there is really nowhere I haven't already looked.

OP posts:

Groupie123 · 28/06/2017 11:05

She prob did steal them. Don't have her back.

Birdsgottaf1y · 28/06/2017 11:07

I thought that I'd lost pj bottoms the other day, they were hanging at the top of a folded up ladder

There's a saying "can't see for looking", so take a break and don't make any conclusions.

Original poster

WildBelle · 28/06/2017 11:09

It's been a couple of weeks since I realised they were missing (we were away for a week of that though), so I've had a few goes at trying to find them, including the epic all day hunt.

OP posts:

SheGotOffThePlane · 28/06/2017 11:10

Was that the mascara post? If so, then I think it probably was her.

Although..... I've found things that have been missing for weeks, and it's usually that they've been caught up with other clothes and put in the wrong place.

Original poster

WildBelle · 28/06/2017 11:13

The eyeliner yes! I'm really hoping that they do turn up but have been through every drawer and pile of clothes in the house (several times).

OP posts:

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 28/06/2017 11:14

I didn't read your previous post, so can't comment based on that but I'm not sure why your DD's friend would steal jeans that wouldn't even fit her.

I've lost things before that technically should have been unlosable within the house. They do generally turn up - but sometimes weeks or months later in the oddest place! Or even the most obvious place where you were 100% certain you'd already looked .

scurryfunge · 28/06/2017 11:16

Could they have been stolen from a washing line?

Bluntness100 · 28/06/2017 11:17

I doubt a thirteen year old stole her friends mums jeans that wouldn't fit her, just smuggling them out the house would be an issue. Could you have left them behind when you were away? Either that or they are mixed up with someone else's clothes.

That happens in my house, think something is lost, search for ages and then find its in my husband or daughters drawers/wardrobe because it got mixed up in the laundry.

Original poster

WildBelle · 28/06/2017 11:22

No one can get into my back garden where my washing line is so don't think they'd have been taken from there.

I didn't leave them behind when we were away as they went missing before that.

OP posts:

Yokohamajojo · 28/06/2017 11:22

I was going mental when I couldn't find my DS's football top as I was sure I had washed it. Eventually found it behind the drawer, have you checked that?

hesterton · 28/06/2017 11:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

WildBelle · 28/06/2017 11:31

Haven't checked behind the drawers, will have a look.

Can't talk to the mum as she's a bit mad (the root cause of dd's friend being messed up IMO).

OP posts:

summerlovinggirl · 28/06/2017 11:32

I lost a dress the other week and I've hunted for it high and low. I've since come to the conclusion that I accidentally put it in the charity bag of clothes I was donating. Sorted the bag out in s rush whilst I was in the mindset! I also found that some of my jeans accidentally got put into DH cupboard instead of mine. Could this the case for you too?

DoomGloomAndKaboom · 28/06/2017 11:35

I remember your previous thread.

She might have a problem stealing things, or it might have been because she was cross about the eye liner thing.

Either way, don't have her back. You can help her in other ways but you can't trust her in your house, sadly. She might have taken them to sell.

Synecdoche · 28/06/2017 11:35

Could they be languishing in the tumble dryer (if you have one)? Or, as summer says, masquerading as another member of the household's jeans?

viques · 28/06/2017 11:36

If you were away for a week is it possible you left them wherever you were staying. I still mourn my lovely soft green dressing gown that I left hanging behind the door of a hotel. - who then denied it was there, bastards.

Tinty · 28/06/2017 11:37

So you haven't seen them for a couple of weeks and you were away for a week of that time. Where did you go, did you leave them there? Did you pack them when you went away? Do you remember putting them in the wash when you came back. If they are your favourite jeans it is highly likely that you took them to wear. Did you go away on hols or to stay with family? Could you have left them?

Umbrellifera · 28/06/2017 11:40

Could the jeans have been mis-filed, who puts the washing and ironing away in your house? They might be masquerading as black trousers hanging up by the hem instead of the waist, for instance.

Kleptomania isn't always logical, sufferers sometimes take things that have caught their eye but are actually useless to them. Sadly a person who has stolen from you is not going to admit that unless put under extreme duress to do so, and I imagine that's not going to happen.

PoorYorick · 28/06/2017 11:41

You say you went away? Any chance you left them in your hotel/holiday accommodation?

It's such a big jump from stealing a small thing like eyeliner to a relatively large thing like a pair of jeans. Neither's excusable, of course, but to a young teenager, slipping a small tube into your pocket is a much more trivial act than folding up clothes and stuffing them away in your backpack (the only way she could have done it, surely). Also, I can see why a teenage girl might steal makeup - but a pair of jeans that wouldn't fit her and are worn by her mum's generation? Doesn't sound right to me.

Original poster

WildBelle · 28/06/2017 11:53

Didnt take them away as they were missing before that. Have checked all drawers in the house, and laundry baskets, and tumble dryer.

She potentially could have taken them as I'm not always here when her and dd get back from school. It would be a bit weird though. They are quite 'young' jeans, I'm quite young myself and her mum is much older so they are not the sort of thing her mum would wear. But we are probably 2 clothes sizes apart from each other so would be a bit weird for her to take them. I hate even thinking she could have them but I can't see any other explanation.

OP posts:

PuppyMonkey · 28/06/2017 11:55

I also think they might be hanging up in the wrong wardrobe.

Lotsawobblybits · 28/06/2017 11:56

Puzzling- If they have been taken by your DD's friend then I doubt you will see them again.

On the other hand they may turn up where you least expect it.

I had a lovely pair of shoes that had only been worn once, and one of them disappeared. Searched high and low- kept the remaining one. Had discussion with DP the missing one wasn't going to turn up after 10 years so chucked the saved one.

Yep you guessed it, weeks later it turned up. It was under the kitchen units- we removed the kick board due to a leak and there is was....10 years later!!!

Original poster

WildBelle · 28/06/2017 11:57

Pretty sure they weren't washed in between me wearing them the last time and them going missing, so I wouldn't have put them away dirty.

OP posts:

luckylucky24 · 28/06/2017 11:58

I searched for weeks for one of DD's dresses and thought I was going mad. I found it inside out in the wardrobe.

Floggingmolly · 28/06/2017 11:58

Whether she stole them or not (and unless they show up you'll probably never really know), don't allow her in your house again.
You can't have people in your home, especially when you're not even there, who are happy to steal from you.

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