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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this optician is a bit over the top?

52 replies

Babypassport · 28/06/2017 10:45

Eye test this morning for my 11 month old. She's normally an extremely placid baby.

For the test, the doctor got the receptionist to hold her head against the metal frame, and I held her body. She started getting upset so the receptionist held her harder, really ramming her head against the metal, and told me to do the same.

By now, baby was wailing like I've never heard before, and the optician started shouting at her, she said to shock her into stopping crying. I looked a bit shocked as well I think, and the optician said, oh look now Mummy's upset too, maybe we should give her a sweetie.

Afterwards she told me that all baby eye tests are like that. AIBU to think that there are gentler ways to do it? I honestly have no idea, having never been to a baby eye test before - maybe it really is the only way.

OP posts:

Allthebestnamesareused · 28/06/2017 10:47

Maybe all HER baby tests are like that. What does she expect shouting and holding a baby tightly! None of the ones any of mine ever attended were! Change opticians.

MrsOverTheRoad · 28/06/2017 10:48

Oh my God! Write an official complaint! That's NOT normal!

TheWitTank · 28/06/2017 10:50

Good grief -no, not all baby eye tests are like that at all!!!
Complain and never go there again.

Original poster

Babypassport · 28/06/2017 10:54

I worried that might be the case. I was so desperate to call a halt to it mid-test but I just felt powerless to stop as she kept saying that it's normal. My poor poor baby

OP posts:

zzzzz · 28/06/2017 10:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

underneaththeash · 28/06/2017 10:59

Was it at a local opticians or at the hospital?

I don't really see many 11 mo, they're usually seen by the hospital eye service.

I suspect it was a slit lamp and the problem with them is at unless the person's head is against the metal bar at the top, you can't image the eye (and therefore can't see if something is wrong). I would usually sit the baby on the mother's knee and then attempt to have a look.

However, they shouldn't be shouting, that's very unprofessional.

Groupie123 · 28/06/2017 11:07

Yes they are like that at the hospital.

What would you have preferred? That they let your baby rule the show & miss a possible brain tumour?

Original poster

Babypassport · 28/06/2017 11:07

It was a local optician. Hospital was all booked up for several months unfortunately.

It was a test to see if anything was wrong inside her eye so that could warrant the test you mentioned? The baby was sat on my lap and she was okay at first, but as soon as the receptionist came to hold her in place it got worse very quickly.

The shouting actually did stop her from crying for a few minutes. I'm quite a quiet sort and the baby is normally very calm and always checks with me for my approval, so I've never had to raise my voice to her!

OP posts:

Groupie123 · 28/06/2017 11:09

It sounds normal. You need to do whatever works for the benefit of the child. In this case the benefit of the child was an appropriate eye test. Babies can't be reasoned with.

Original poster

Babypassport · 28/06/2017 11:13

Groupie, that is exactly why I came on here to ask. If that's the way it must be done then so be it, but I don't think that trying to find a less aggressive alternative makes me someone who lets the baby rule the show

OP posts:

nina2b · 28/06/2017 11:15

Official complaint. That is not ever acceptable. Poor baby.

spiderlight · 28/06/2017 11:22

My DS had all sorts of eye tests from 6 months onwards and never any treatment like that! It was all very calm and play-oriented, and I don't remember him crying at all. I would never go back to a place like that :(

nina2b · 28/06/2017 11:26

Babies can't be reasoned with? Eh? Did you just say that because in that case you - and everyone connected with a frightened young child in such a situation - should do everything possible to be kind and reassuring. You do not shout. And you most certainly do not shout at a young child in any circumstance.

zzzzz · 28/06/2017 11:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tinty · 28/06/2017 11:33

My daughter had eye tests in the local hospital from about 6 months old, they never did anything like this. If it is the case that they have to do this and the baby is going to get upset then they shout, they could have at least told you first so you know what to expect.

BeepBeepMOVE · 28/06/2017 11:35

Pah, it was ten minutes of babies life, hardly a life long trauma.

Do you mean red in the face shouting or a firm voice? An do'm guessing you also mean receptionist was holding the babies head firmly rather than ramming it against a metal bar. Were marks left on her head?

zzzzz · 28/06/2017 11:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

53rdWay · 28/06/2017 11:39

No they are not all like that! Mine has had eye tests at hospital since younger than that, and at no point has anyone felt it necessary to deal with an upset baby by yelling at it. FFS, that's not on.

Original poster

Babypassport · 28/06/2017 11:47

Not red in the face shouting as the optician wasn't angry, it was just shouting 'stop!' And a few more comments about how she was a silly baby having a tantrum.

And yes she now has a red mark along the length of her forehead to go with stretch marks and redness above her eyes.

I appreciate that the optician had an important job to do, but it riles me that the baby was upset as a result of being restrained, rather than restrained as a result of being upset. That still wouldn't be great but it would be understandable at least.

OP posts:

Original poster

Babypassport · 28/06/2017 11:48

Scratch not stretch !

OP posts:

Unadon · 28/06/2017 11:59

No definitely not all baby eye tests are like that. Is your optician a paediatric one per chance?

LilaBard · 28/06/2017 12:03

Sorry but even if that is what all babies eye tests are like, if you felt it was too much and you are not happy with it - and I can't bloody blame you tbh! - then you need to make a complaint. I can totally see why you were stunned into not saying anything, it sounds shocking. They should be well used to dealing with squirming babies and toddlers without having to resort to that.

Original poster

Babypassport · 28/06/2017 12:10

Here are the marks. They've just started to come up in terms last half an hour or so.

To think this optician is a bit over the top?

OP posts:

FeckinCrutches · 28/06/2017 12:10

Groupie it's absolutely not normal at all. I've worked in various opticians for over 20 years and this would absolutely not happen in any of the practices I've worked in. The optician should be able to use the ophthalmoscope to get a view of the inside of the eye to get a rough idea if they need glasses, by using distraction techniques. If that doesn't any work, we would use drops to get a better view. It wouldn't even cross our minds to put the babies head into the frame.
I would definitely complain.

CheeseCrackersAndWine · 28/06/2017 12:11

Definitely not normal. My DD (21 months) has had I think, 3 eye test now. All at the hospital rather than optician and this has never happened!! I would complain then find a new optician.

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