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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask is this Hotel policy usual?

297 replies

IsThisStrangeOrNot · 27/06/2017 06:00

Children under 12 not allowed to be alone in bedrooms. Small posh hotel recently refurbished. I can understand why they might not want toddlers running riot in the bedrooms but when DS is asleep and we're watching him on the baby monitor that's still not acceptable. Bedroom is up the stairs and we would be eating dinner in restaurant at foot of stairs, less than 5 seconds to get back to bedroom. It's in an isolated location with nothing nearby so can't imagine policy is for the security of children.
Their hotel, their rules - which we respect but first time I've heard this policy. Anyone else heard such a policy for kids under 12?

OP posts:
supermoon100 · 27/06/2017 13:15

Swearing is one thing, name calling is just nasty. Sorry I just think people can disagree with out calling each other fucking idiots but then we all have different moral codes of conduct!

XiCi · 27/06/2017 13:26

Yes supermoon and my moral code of conduct would not lead me to leave a toddler in a hotel room alone while I went out for dinner. Obviously my comments hit home and I stand by them

grannytomine · 27/06/2017 13:34

Could some of you tell the OP and me where the hordes of people stampeding down the stairs are going to come from in a hotel with 10 rooms. We don't know if all the rooms are occupied, presumably if people are down stairs having dinner some occupants are already downstairs. I'm sure the OP would have had a different view in a multi storey hotel with 200 rooms but we are talking about 10.

But it is not about blindly following rules. The rules are there for the safety of everyone. Imagine if there is a fire, the people in the rooms upstairs are all coming down the stairs, maybe all at the same time. It is busy, people are pushing each other in their panic to get out. But they are all heading the same way - down the stairs. Imagine then that someone is trying to go against the flow, to push their way back up the stairs. In the panicking chaos of a fire do you think people will just step to one side and let them through? They would likely be pushed back down again. Or fall over, or cause someone else to fall over. That is why it is selfish, someone going the opposite way in a fire evacuation causes these problems for others.

That's fine, you can stand outside watching the fire while I get my kids out, if I see yours I'll grab them for you. I'm sure you will feel very virtuous but not sure how the kids will feel.

storminabuttercup · 27/06/2017 13:35

I just couldn't do this! Family holidays are just that, we eat together, not always early, we go see the entertainment, walk into the town, play cards by the pool bar, we've been holidaying in hotels since DS was 3.5 before that caravans and self catering places. If you want an adults meal get a baby sitter.

grannytomine · 27/06/2017 13:35

We aren't just talking about babies and toddlers, we are talking about under 12s.

grannytomine · 27/06/2017 13:38

A parent at my son's gym class was cautioned after leaving a sleeping baby in her locked car ( on a cold day) for two minutes while she dropped off her son.
She was taken to the police station under caution.

Would they have done the same with an 11 year old? I think the issue is where you draw the line.

Coddiwomple · 27/06/2017 13:41

You have to love posters like grannytomine who have an answer for everything in theory but end up being the ones creating tragedy in real life.

Decaffstilltastesweird · 27/06/2017 13:55

I don't know about an 11 year old. I'm fairly sure I have been left in a hotel room when I was that age, though with my 14yo brother. I've never been a parent of a child that age but I imagine they'd be more likely to fuck about in the room would they not? I'd worry they'd do something dangerous and injure themselves, or just wreck the place, but obviously depends on the child.

I wouldn't leave a baby or toddler in a hotel room to go and have dinner, no.

I guess the policy is in case of fire maybe; the child could get left behind by accident. Or maybe so children don't get left in a room screaming while their parents get pissed at the bar, (absolutely not saying the op would do that, but if there's no policy, then I suppose some parents could).

I used to work in a hotel too and I remember one couple had a baby monitor with them while they had drinks at the bar (it was the couple's wedding). It was all fine and we didn't have any policy about it, so management wouldn't say anything to the couple, but I was very Hmm about it. I couldn't imagine doing it myself.

An acquaintance of mine once settled her baby DS, gave the baby monitor and set of keys to the next door neighbour and then went out for dinner. I found that horrible, but maybe I'm massively overreacting. Wouldn't do it.

I know it's maybe a bit dramatic to bring up Madeleine McCann on these threads, but I do think what happened to her has made me be even more cautious with my DD when it comes to this sort of thing.

supermoon100 · 27/06/2017 14:01

Dear XiCi thank you for showing me the error of my ways with your foul language. That's really done the trick. No more shall I leave my kids alone in hotel rooms 😜

sycamore54321 · 27/06/2017 14:02

Major eye roll at all the internet warriors bravely striding into the he flames to rescue their children because they love them more than everyone else loves theirs. While ignoring the fact that the rest of us wouldn't have left the beloved child alone in the first place. Selfish

Coddiwomple · 27/06/2017 14:05

Dear XiCi thank you for showing me the error of my ways with your foul language. That's really done the trick. No more shall I leave my kids alone in hotel rooms

I am guessing that if you are the kind of parent happy to leave a child alone in a foreign place, or with a foreign babysitter you don't know, no sensible comment - or insulting one - will ever make you change your minds. Your holiday must come first, you wouldn't want to be impaired by the children you chose to have, or - shock horror- spend time with them!

grannytomine · 27/06/2017 14:08

Coddiwomple, perhaps you missed the bit where I said I never did this with my kids? My point was people saying you can't go back and get kids and I wanted to know who would stop me. If a hotel receptionist told you that you couldn't get your kids would you say "Oh fair enough" or would you say "Oh right" and carry on?

One PP said they were allowed to cross a corridor to their child in a leisure centre, well sorry but I can't understand that, or are you going to say there was a stampede of people on that corridor as well?

12 is an arbitrary age, I know 10 year olds who are more sensible than some 12 year olds, even some 14 year olds. There comes a point where a parent can make the call.

WillowWeeping · 27/06/2017 14:29

An 11 year old in a hotel room is absolutely fine Confused

supermoon100 · 27/06/2017 14:29

Coddi - I have a very close and loving relationship with all my children thankyou very much as I do with my dh

Original poster
IsThisStrangeOrNot · 27/06/2017 14:29

LOL - I'm in wales with patchy wifi! Barrage of irate messages - DS is 18 months, was left with hotel babysitter last night. Prefer to use hotel management than total stranger.

OP posts:
Original poster
IsThisStrangeOrNot · 27/06/2017 14:36

Note not left alone - with hotel babysitter and video baby monitor zoomed in on his cot

OP posts:
SnowBallsAreHere · 27/06/2017 14:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

budgiegirl · 27/06/2017 14:43

There comes a point where a parent can make the call

I agree, but in this case, the hotel has made the call, and parents should respect that. If they don't like it, then choose another hotel.

budgiegirl · 27/06/2017 14:47

One PP said they were allowed to cross a corridor to their child in a leisure centre, well sorry but I can't understand that, or are you going to say there was a stampede of people on that corridor as well?

It's quite normal, and good fire procedure, to allow children to be evacuated in the event of a fire by the adults who are in charge of the children at that time. Not the parents, if the children have been left in charge of another adult at a club or similar activity. It really can hamper evacuation efforts if parents are going in the 'wrong' direction to get to their kids - as understandable as their desire to do so is - even if it is just across a corridor.

CountryCaterpillar · 27/06/2017 15:03

There were tons of kids in tons of activities and yes tons of parents.

It made sense. One end of the corridor was one lot of activities, I was the end with the cafe (where the fire was I later found out) so no they weren't letting anyone down the corridor to the other end.

Each activity evacuated their own children directly out into the outside (including all the swimming lessons the poor kids!) And parents had to evacuate from the door nearest the cafe.

I have to say it worked and yes parents running down the corridor to the activities would have hampered the evacuation and been a risk. everyone evacuating straight out worked.

I did go straight to my child (who was in a line up and not supposed to leave so I went and stood with them having a cuddle) and she is now scared of alarms. But me running to her as I tried to do before being stopped really wouldn't have helped.

And they're a big leisure centre with a fire plan. Now they're older we've discussed what to do if separated (ie at legoland/hotel) and fires etc.

This was where people they knew each week who had been cfb checked were looking after them and knew how to evacuate. Not being left in a room in a strange hotel with strangers. No way would I have done that!!

TheWhiteRoseOfYork · 27/06/2017 15:08

That's fine, you can stand outside watching the fire while I get my kids out, if I see yours I'll grab them for you. I'm sure you will feel very virtuous but not sure how the kids will feel.

Grannytomine FFS. Even 10 rooms could be approx. 20 people, maybe more if some of them are family rooms. Then there could be visitors, members of staff. If everyone is trying to get down the only flight of stairs at once then even a smallish number can cause a stampede, as you put it. But hey, don't believe me, It makes no odds to me.

BTW, You would not need to grab my dc from a burning hotel room because I would not leave them there alone, so they would be with me during an evacuation. Thanks for the offer though. If I see you desperately trying to push your way up against the flow I will surely stand aside and let you pass. Or maybe I would have grabbed your DC already and be bringing them down to you.

kaytee87 · 27/06/2017 15:40

You want to leave your 18month old alone in a hotel room Shock
You're on another planet.

Groupie123 · 27/06/2017 16:13

You're an idiot OP. 18 months is no age to even consider doing this.

storminabuttercup · 27/06/2017 16:30

I'm confused, are they with a babysitter or left alone, you say with a babysitter in your last post but presumably they are over 12 so you don't have an issue however if you really do mean leaving an 18 month alone yup yabu regardless of the hotel policy

MoonfaceAndSilky · 27/06/2017 18:25

18 months, dear God Angry