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AIBU?

WIBU to give DS2 DS1's middle name as his first name?

71 replies

BlackTowel · 26/06/2017 23:35

We gave DS1 our favourite names! Blush but are having a DS2! It took ages for me to get pregnant with DS1 and never thought it would happen again, so WIBU?

OP posts:
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sycamore54321 · 27/06/2017 03:14

I would absolutely hate if I shared a name with my older sibling. Being younger in the birth order can already feel like second best. As parents, you have a duty to give the same thought and care in choosing a name for your second child just as much as your first. It's dismissive and disrespectful to have them share a forename. They are individuals and deserve their own names.

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MitzyLeFrouf · 27/06/2017 08:38

Well unless you call your child Jetheysh or Ksysybs then they're all hand me down names aren't they?

All names are hand me downs but that recycling doesn't normally occur between siblings.

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GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 27/06/2017 12:35

I've just realised my DS is B A Surname and my DD's first name begins with A. I could have saved a fortune in labels if I'd ordered BA surname and snipped the labels!!

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ExPresidents · 27/06/2017 12:47

Don't do it!

I know a sibling pair who have this. Say their names are

Peter Chris Brown
Christopher Andrew Brown

Fine fine fine. Til they grow up and the older one decides they don't want to be called Peter, they've always hated Peter. They're going to be called by their middle name, Chris.

So the parents now have children called Chris and Christopher.
Christopher can never be called 'Chris' even if he wants to, because his older brother is Chris.

It's so fucking weird, this did really happen (although I have changed the names involved). I accept this situation is partly due to the older sibling being bloody weird but still, if they hadn't shared a name it wouldn't be an issue.

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FloatyCat · 27/06/2017 12:51

I wouldn't, just on the basis that they are separate & distinct individuals.

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AndTakeYourHorseWithYou · 27/06/2017 12:55

I wouldn't, just on the basis that they are separate & distinct individuals

And you think some name overlap might confuse them into thinking they are the same person?

The only people who care about middle names are people currently naming a baby and a few MN'ers. In the real world, nobody knows or cares what anyones middle name is, it could not make any less difference to anyones life.

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AndTakeYourHorseWithYou · 27/06/2017 12:56

I would bet everyone saying it's fine is not a second son or daughter

You lose.

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Popskipiekin · 27/06/2017 12:58

ExPresidents ha, did not think of that scenario!
We were going to do this for DC2 - DS1 had Alexander as middle name and we loved Alexandra nn Sasha for a girl. DC2 turned into DS2 and we still thought about Alexander but just decided it wasn't fair on either child, esp DS2.
Keep mulling it over OP. Tbh I reckon if you're uncomfortable/unsure enough to ask on AIBU then you won't actually go through with it as a bit of you believes it's not the right thing to do... If you're stuck for names, start another thread giving DS1's names as names you like but can't use and we'll come up with some new ones for you! Grin

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BelfastSmile · 27/06/2017 13:03

My friend did this with DC1 and DC4. No issue at all. Most people don't know her DC1's middle name anyway.

My granny, on the other hand, had both the same names as her sister - one was Ann Jane and the other was Jane Ann. Their eldest brother was Edward, but he died as a baby, so the next boy to be born was then called Edward too.

That was a bit odd.

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Twozealotmorethan1 · 27/06/2017 13:05

We considered this but decided against just in case DS1 decides at some point in the future to be known by his middle name... Unlikely, but I'm the cautious type!

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Underparmummy · 27/06/2017 13:07

Eva Mendes (?) did this recently I think.

Middle names are a bit insignificant anyway.

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Scrumpernickel · 27/06/2017 13:10

I find it really weird when people say they only like literally two names in the whole world. SO many names to choose from.

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UsernameInvalid66 · 27/06/2017 14:27

I know someone who did this quite recently, and I thought it was a bit strange at first, but as both DC are called by short forms of their first names, it's not likely to cause any confusion!

It's not as strange as two brothers I knew who had totally different first names but which could both be shortened to the same short form - they didn't, but it felt a bit wrong to me that they could have done.

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TheNoodlesIncident · 27/06/2017 15:15

Tbh this seems a much easier scenario than when a son is given the first name of his father, then the son is referred to as, for example, "Tom junior". Now that would be feeling a bit more towards loss of identity than having the same first name as a sibling's middle name... I wouldn't think anything of the latter, frankly. Except maybe "guess you really like that name".

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usernamenonumber · 27/06/2017 15:26

I think it's a bit of a shame because you are pretty much taking away the elder child's option of using his middle name, should he prefer it.

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Yukbuck · 27/06/2017 15:29

Usernameimvalid what is the name?! I'm intrigued

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AVY1 · 27/06/2017 15:46

My parents gave my DSis my middle name though it was then shortened to a nickname. I've always loved it (though when younger was a bit miffed she didn't gave my first name as her middle name!)

Yanbu

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BeautyGoesToBenidorm · 27/06/2017 15:49

I knew a woman years ago whose DH was called Shaun, her DS was Shaun Jr, and her DD was Shauna. It was like none of them had their own identity!

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Roomba · 27/06/2017 15:51

I briefly considered this with DS2. Chose my two favourite names for DS1 and assumed I would never have any more children. Then I decided it would be daft and chose a different name. Now I can't imagine him having the other name at all, it just wouldn't suit him. So I say no, don't do it.

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NotTooWorried · 27/06/2017 16:24

I gave DS1 my favourite names but still managed to think of more names for DS2. It took a while but we got there so I would say no, give them their own names. There are plenty out there.

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Talith · 27/06/2017 16:57

My husband's parents did this. I found it rather surprising after all there are loads of great names out there so YABU! Grin

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