I probably am unreasonable because it's for charity so I'm sure no one will feel bad about ripping me to shreds but the what that rapper on the Grenfell Tower Bridge Over Troubled Waters song says

[TheIncredibleBookEatingManchot]

It could have been his mum or his nephew or him up there.

But a couple of lines earlier he says he's never even met any of the victims so what makes him think he could have been in their homes?

I might be a little forgiving if it turns out he lives in or has lived in a tower block as equally unsafe as Grenfell turned out to be but...

At least 79 people have died, many more are injured, traumatised, homeless and bereaved WHY IS HE MAKING THIS ABOUT HIM?

Well we're talking about him.

I don't think the song is aimed at those of us that don't like it. I think it's aimed at kids and teens without much disposable income. I haven't bought it but both my kids have as they like it. I have also donated to the just giving page, but the small amounts from the song are all extra bits of cash they probably wouldn't have got from me otherwise. I can't believe people share getting so angry about this. If you don't like it just don't buy it

People saying Stormzy is empathising when he says "it could have been me," let's use a smaller, easier to imagine example.

You home is broken into. Everything you own is stolen or destroyed. Someone living a few streets over from you who you've never met hears about it and starts saying to everyone they see, "You know that horrible house break in, it could have been me."

Do you think, how nice, this person is empathising with me?

To me it sounds like wanting to get sympathy and attention, kind of basking in the glow of other people's misery.

It might be normal and human to think, "it could have been me" when you hear about something bad happening. It doesn't mean it's the right thing to say to people who are suffering. It WAS them.

And people saying, he's just saying they're people like us... that's something you should have known without being told.

But its a song. He's not walked up to a victim and said "yo dude, you think you have it tough but I'm worse of because it COULD HAVE BEEN ME!". Its not the Sam thing at all.

If you don't like it, don't buy it. Don't buy anything else he makes. But seriously CHILL OUT

'I'm so sorry you're house got broken in to! This neighbourhood is a nightmare, it could have been any of us. The police need to take action.'

Actually I think I'd be fine with that.

To me it sounds like wanting to get sympathy and attention, kind of basking in the glow of other people's misery.

Well poor you in that case if that's how your mean spirited mind works.

OP the point of AIBU is to gain other perspective, not to give your perspective. On this occasion when you've had, what, dozens of posters say that isn't what he met... it might be wise to think that even if it wasn't expressed perfectly, it was meant empathetically.

It's actually very insensitive to look at someone's tragedy and rather than simply saying, "that's awful, I feel for you, I will help you" ( or words to that effect) and instead say, "how terrible, it could have happened to me."
the former is sympathy (which we all have for the victims), the latter is empathy (which only people who have lived in similar environments or who have been through similar trauma can experience. I think that Stormzy is trying to say that their life experience and his are similar and that he can empathize with their living situation before the fire.

Does anyone know how the money will be spent? I was concerned to read that the council tenants of the block will be rehomed and receive help but the private tenants are being left to fend for themselves: is this true?

...and he didn't just say 'it could have been me'. He said he will not forget them, he understands them, he is devastated in their behalf.

Well I bought it, I love it and I really like the rap intro - am only just getting into that kind of music and finding I really like it. I think it transforms a song that sits firmly in its era and hasn't stood the test of time very well. Oh and I'm in my 60's and have the original Simon and Garfunkle album, after a few large glasses of red I have been known to play it, but not while sober

ILookedinthewater You do not have to have experienced something similar or be living in similar circumstances as someone to empathise with someone. Empathy is putting yourself in someone else's shoes, regardless of how similar or different you might actually be from them.

SwedishToast The point of AIBU is discussion.

Do you know what aibu stands for?

Nah the op is right. Let's rewrite the song.

This is really sad for all of you, I couldn't possibly understand what is happening as your situation is so very specific.

But trust me I really care, but only as much is appropriate.

Because I wouldn't want to make this about me. Oh shit, I have done.

anyway.

Here's some money.
out

That's pretty good actually

Yes, SwedishToast

If people haven't convinced me I'm being unreasonable I can continue to try to clarify my point and say why I disagree.

It's a web forum. It's for discussion.

That's song is just awful, so badly done too. Could have picked something much better. Just saying.

But trust me I really care, but only as much is appropriate

How much do you think it's "appropriate" to care?

If people are going to put limits on how much they care then they're probably sociopaths.

I can continue to try to clarify my point and say why I disagree.

Continue to clarify? Each of your posts is just a repeat of the last.

They ruined a lovely song. Nothing about the charity version is good. Bad editing, singing, timing. And irrelevant.

OP, I live in the north and have visited Manchester Arena many times with my DC's. When the terrorist attack occurred there I did think oh gosh that could have been us. Not in a 'woe is me' kind of way, but in a 'but for the grace of God' kind of way. I can't help the way I felt and I certainly wasn't trying to draw attention away from the poor families affected but I felt it very acutely because I had been to that place with my kids and couldn't imagine the panic, fear and devastation those poor souls were going through. I would never presume to understand their suffering as I wasn't there but I was very sad on their behalf.

I genuinely don't see anything wrong with the song. I assume Stormzy grew up in a tower block alongside his mother and nephew, hence the lyrics. I'm sure he feels this more acutely because he has known and understands this living situation. I imagine he held his mother and nephew extra tightly when he next saw them after the disaster. I don't think he is trying to shift pity or attention to himself, I think he is merely showing his empathy in his own way. I actually found his verse extremely moving and heartfelt. I'm very sorry that you see it differently but that is your perogative.

MotherBear I do get completely the "It could have been me" feeling.

When I was in my early 20s I thought one day it would be nice to sit in a quiet park near my work and read on my lunch break. I went there about three or four times and on the last time a man approached me, being very verbally aggressive, accusing me of stalking him just because I happened to have been in the same place at the same time as him a few days in a row. I was intimidated and left and never went back. A few weeks later he was in the news, he'd been arrested for the murder of another young woman close to that park a year earlier.

So, yes, I did have a shocked, "he could have murdered me too" moment.

It wouldn't have been helpful for me to have approached the woman's family and friends and said that though. Quite possibly that would just make them wish it had been me instead of her.

Just wondering, have any of these celebrities who care about the people of Grenfell Tower so much that they had to get together for a group karaoke session in their honour done anything else to try to help them?

Have any of them figuratively laid themselves down like a bridge over troubled water as they sang they would?

This is a genuine question. I'm not being snarky.

I remember a similar furore over the Band Aid single, where Bonio invited listeners to "thank god it's them, instead of you".

Bartholin if understand anger over that far more than this tbh. As the Brooklyn Beckham threads shows, celebs are never right though. If they have donated, sorted clothes etc and not been public about it they'll be vilified for not helping. If they do help and publicize it they'll be vilified for piblicising it and it not being enough. .Simon Cowbell donated 100k - its not much compared to his wealth so its not good enough and if he really cared no one would know

Aside from the well documented examples, I don't know which, if any, celebs have helped 'behind the scenes' but I assume that many might have. Celebs can never be right in situations like this. If they make a (quite frankly mediocre!) charity song they are profiting from a disaster and only doing it for their public image. If they donate privately they are criticised for not caring. They can't win.

I think as a country, we have all been appalled by the Grenfall disaster and tbh, I think it would take a pretty self-centred person to try to gain anything out of such a thing. Whether you hate or love the song, I think it comes from a good place. It's an easy way for everyone to be involved. And as I said earlier, they are using their particular skill set to do their bit, just the same as a builder or plumber may offer their services. It all helps.