Who pays?

[themumfairy]

Yesterday i took a friend to her hospital appointment. I've took her before and ended up paying the parking fee as she forgot her purse. I honestly didn't mind as it was only a few quid and i had it in loose change in the car anyway. However yesterday she 'forgot' her purse again and this time as she was in there a few hours it was a bit more. I don't ask for petrol as the hospital is in our city and I'm not that tight but as I wouldn't be there if i didn't take her surely she should pay. Or aibu and should just pay each time. She's got another appointment next week so I'm expecting a text soon asking if I am available.

After reading your update, OP, there's doing a favour for a friend and there's being taken for a ride (pun intended).

I'll be rethinking the balance of your friendship if it's usually you who pays for taxis/coffee/stuff.

I'd be busy next week. I'm guessing once the free lunches, taxis and parking stops, you may hear less from her.

Next time I would be inclined to say sorry I am busy xxx

If you are paying for everything-hospital trips aside, then you really are being taken for a mug and she isn't your friend, she is a total user. Don't let yourself be treated like this.

You are letting her take you for a mug. I'd text and ask her to transfer yhe money she owes for parking and petrol and if she refused then you know where you stand.

I'd be busy the next few weeks. Do not agree and then say have you remembered your purse.

'I'll definitely say have you remembered everything including purse next time. I honestly don't mind doing it but after starting this thread and thinking about it this isn't the only thing she gets out of paying. I've never really paid much attention but it's usually me who buys lunch and if we go out I pay for the taxi. Maybe I need to stop and see if our friendship continues.'

Just say you can't and put the brakes on this. Stop paying for lunches or taxis. If you go out, tell her, 'My budget is tight, I can only pay for myself.' She pulls the forgotten purse stunt, you leave her hanging. 'I can ring a mate for you on my phone, but I don't have any spare money.

Some people have very tight budget margins and 'a few quid' at the end of the month is sadly out of their range. It's not being nasty, it's just being skint.

I think she is taking advantage, she should definitely be paying for parking and offering money for petrol.

You are being taken for a mug, OP.

Point her to the nearest bus stop or give her the number for a local taxi firm.

Even if you were swimming in money, she still has no entitlement to spend it for you!

Thanks all. I'll definitely say have you remembered everything including purse next time.

That's not clear enough, OP. I would make it clear that you don't have the parking money and she needs to bring change/cash.

And no more free taxis and lunches for her!

Yes, because she might have her purse with her, but no change in it.

Text back 'yes if you pay for he parking ticket, I'll willingly take you to your appointment'

Don't take your purse

Another one saying you should forget your purse. But make sure you realise just before you pick her up so you can make sure she has hers.

Really, fuck playing games with the purse. Just tell her, 'Sorry, can't take you in,' a few times if you can't front her and tell her, 'You need to pay for petrol and parking this time or I can't do it,' and stop all the freeloading.

I wouldn't want to spend any more time with someone as mean (and deceitful) as this "friend", so would just drop the acquaintance now.

I pay my helper to drive me to hospital, ie her hourly rate plus petrol money - disabled parking is free - and feel happy that she pays for coffees, which is kind.

So she's a user. Do you want to be used?

"She's got another appointment next week so I'm expecting a text soon asking if I am available."
Don't be available.

I would take her, if she says she has forgotten to take her purse, say bugger so have I, take her to the appointment drive off and let her make her own way home. I bet she will find her purse then.

So you take her there, WAIT for her there, then take her home and she 'forgets' her purse twice?

Fuck that. Say no.

I would be "busy" next time

Does anyone else think us Brits are too polite for our own good?
I would try to turn it in to a bit of banter and if she asks for another lift say 'suppose so you cheeky mare but don't forget your purse this time'

She pays!

@Morphene, you can't just drive in and out of pay and display car parks if they have the type of machines that you have to put your car reg into.

You get fined, I did when I put one wrong digit into the the thing.

OP If you don't want to pull her up on her tightness, next time ring her before you pick her up and tell her you don't have any change so she better have some.

Ring not text, so she can't say she did'nt read the text.

Have you had a text, OP?

Does anyone else think us Brits are too polite for our own good?

Yes!