Am I being walked all over here?

[user1498051868]

I'm 31 so you would think by now I could stick up for myself more.
My friend has a big group of friends but wouldn't dream of speaking to them like she does me.
Saturday night me and her other friends arranged a night out ..she said we will pick you up at 10pm..I said 10pm that's late..why don't you come at 8pm and we can have a few drinks in mine.
She agreed then turned up at 10pm anyway.
I wasn't part of this discussion about times etc ..they made the decision.
Earlier in the day I said I want to go to this particular bar..(one of the other girls says she doesn't like it,so every time we go out with her we aren't allowed to go) she said ok then.
Got out of the taxi and she said no we weren't going in there..so I went to the pub they wanted to go.

At the weekend we are going to Manchester.
5 of us and taking 2 cars.
I said to my friend I'm going in your mums car as your friend drives too fast (Literally 70 in a 30 area once) she said ok then.
I know for a fact come Saturday I will get to the house and she will say your in the car I don't want to go.
Basically everything I say or ask for isn't listened too.
Yet the other 2 girls will get to be in her mums car ..
How do I stand up for myself?

Don't get in the car?? Just say "no that's ok I'd rather not go" and go home.

Get new friends. Or, do without friends and just sack this lot.

Why are you bothering?

She doesn't sound like a good friend OP

I think you are expressing your views but she's completely ignoring you! Make new friends!

What Silverdale said. You have to take control of this and that starts with putting your wishes first.

I'm worrying a lot about Saturday,I know I'm being over dramatic but I just don't feel safe in her car,she's too busy with her music and doesn't pay attention.
I've already said I'm getting in the other car,she drives too fast.
All I got was "we will see"

We've been friends for about 10 years.
Since she has got in with these girls she's doing things she would never do.

I would cancel in advance and say you don't feel respected enough in group situations and would rather meet up under different circumstances.

Yes you are being walked over. You don’t have to go in the other womans car if you don’t want to, you can point blank refuse to get in. Can you get alternative transport to Manchester if you still want to go? Train or bus? You need to make a point and follow it through or your ‘friends’ will just con tin to walk all over you.

Con tin = continue

I could get the train but it's £130 return ..
Not sure I want to pay that much.
I agree I do need to say no and follow a plan through ...

You dont need friends like that, tell her how you feel and say it seems my opinions dont count, so no point in going, you go go and enjoy yourself,
If she values your friendship she will take notice,if not you will know where you stand, and know shes not a true friend

Why are you worrying about Saturday? Be an adult and don't go. It's that simple, actually. She's not your friend, but you're making a drama out of something you don't need to.

I've reserved the hotel rooms on my credit card,if I don't go and they decide not to go I'm going to be charged £500 as no cancellation polucy

Is that the total for the hotel bill? I suggest you message everyone going asking for their share of this before you go. Say your bill is due in soon and you need it to pay that. Then if you decide not to go you are only out of pocket for your share.

You're paying for them all to go?

When are they paying you back?

If you're as timid as me it could take until your 60s to really learn to stick up for yourself but that's by the by.

If your friend treats you like this she's not much of a friend is she? I'd fins some new friends who don't push you around. Easier said than done, I know.

Yes, you are a mug. Even more so after your last post. Why did you have to book rooms? When will they pay you back?

She is no friend and is clearly trying to show off/fit in with new crowd.

cancel the booking if you possibly can. this isn't acceptable. if you find yourself down £500, let it be an ongoing reminder not to associate with these people. if that happens and they ask, tell them you got your money back.

You paid up front for everyone's rooms ? £500.......are you kidding?

The girl may have a valid reason she isnt sharing to not want to go in that particular bar so I would let that slide. But that's the only thing, they sound like a nightmare. I assume she is a friend from school, people change. One of my best friends from school worked in the city and hung out with coke snorting bankers. After one party with that lot I had enough and just distanced myself.

Yes you are being walked over completely time to forget that friend.

Yes. You are being walked on. Crikey - they have got your number haven't they?

No I'm not paying I reserved the room on my card but then we pay in cash when we get there but if we didn't turn up my card would be charged the full amount.
That's what my friend has started doing taking Coke on nights out ..she has 3 young kids too.
That's not her,she's spending too much time with this girl.