AIBU?
to have not sent a 'birthday daddy video' or card?
HCantThinkOfAUsername · 25/06/2017 09:41
Haven't name changed as cba 
, ill try not to drip feed.
DS1 (4) has seen his bio dad (estranged, abusive, cheating H who won't sign divorce papers!) once in 3 years. He pays when he cba but no cards/letters/communication with DS.
Fathers day I had a shitty message because I didn't send a card for the first time ever. H birthday was yesterday and he has sent yet another shitty message because I 'should' have sent a birthday card & video message saying, "happy birthday daddy".
I don't even know where he lives in the world anymore, every year I've sent a card from ds but thought no point anymore as he has made no attempt to communicate or see ds even though I've asked repeatedly.
My current partner has raised ds1 for the last 3 years. DS doesn't call him dad but if you asked him who his dad is he would say its DP, how do you explain to a 4 year old his bio dad doesn't bother but get him to say a, "happy birthday daddy" video and confuse him?!
I'm so angry I need to vent but also appreciate other opinions on the matter, maybe IABU I don't know :/
LindyHemming · 25/06/2017 09:48
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
HCantThinkOfAUsername · 25/06/2017 10:07
Good idea re CSA!
Probably should have said we met in Wales, married here and had ds here. H moved to England. So says he isn't prepared to travel unless he can have him for weekends straightaway. Ive offered to pay his travel. He is dillusional.
Ditsy1980 · 25/06/2017 10:24
Ignore him, he won't take you to court. Then he might have to take an interest in DS.
I've had similar with exh. This year I got no birthday or Christmas card from DD as he didn't take her to get me one. So I didn't get him one from her when it was his bday. He went mental. 
Birdsgottaf1y · 25/06/2017 10:27
He isn't a Dad, he created a child, but that doesn't entitle him to a Father's day anything and as said what is the point in distressing your Son, so he can have a Happy Birthday message.
Ignore it and leave the ball in his court.
If he wants a relationship then it is up to him to start and maintain it.
You or your DS owe him nothing (except contempt).
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