to have not sent a 'birthday daddy video' or card?

[HCantThinkOfAUsername]

Haven't name changed as cba , ill try not to drip feed.

DS1 (4) has seen his bio dad (estranged, abusive, cheating H who won't sign divorce papers!) once in 3 years. He pays when he cba but no cards/letters/communication with DS.

Fathers day I had a shitty message because I didn't send a card for the first time ever. H birthday was yesterday and he has sent yet another shitty message because I 'should' have sent a birthday card & video message saying, "happy birthday daddy".
I don't even know where he lives in the world anymore, every year I've sent a card from ds but thought no point anymore as he has made no attempt to communicate or see ds even though I've asked repeatedly.

My current partner has raised ds1 for the last 3 years. DS doesn't call him dad but if you asked him who his dad is he would say its DP, how do you explain to a 4 year old his bio dad doesn't bother but get him to say a, "happy birthday daddy" video and confuse him?!

I'm so angry I need to vent but also appreciate other opinions on the matter, maybe IABU I don't know :/

Would having his address help you with getting maintenance? If so, send him a text saying "if we had your address we could post a card/drawing from DS." see if he'll give you an address.

Otherwise, ignore. Go to CSA, wait for him to get organised to go to court. If he can't organise a card for DS's birthday or a trip to Wales to visit, he's not going to organise filling out forms for court.

Sounds like my sons dad. Cheeky fucker.

Taking you to court for not sending him a father's day card? Oh yes. The judge will love that one.

He has sent 1 Christmas present but never a card etc

Contact is for the child to build a relationship with their bio parents. But your DS has had no contact, his father should write to him as a start, try to build a relationship. Build up to actual contact.
But no if your son has no contact then it would be unhealthy for your DS to have to make him a card etc.

I'd just rather not engage, if he doesn't see DS/send cards/presents why do you need any communication? Even then if I were to reply it would have been something along the lines of "I didn't know it was your birthday, it's not something I need to concern myself with"

He has found a new woman, has probably got her/ will get her pregnant, and is busy selling her a sob story, telling her how devastated he is you won't let him see his son, didn't let ds send a birthday card. But you knew that.

Actually I take back my post.

Send him this. And then keep sending it to him. Every hour for the next week.

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He's had a girlfriend a while (she was a schoolgirl he left me and ds for). He absolutely slates me on Facebook regularly but people know he's chatting shit I hope

Is he employed? If so, I think he will have to fund any legal action himself, and even then, he will have to explain why he hasn't bothered with his son until now. I would also screen shot the Facebook abuse too. He sounds like a deluded idiot.

Yes he has a v well paid job. I know he is a twat. If he wanted to see his son he would, he has plenty of money and doesn't work weekends.
He wanted this video so he can plaster in on social media.