would you stop on a hard shoulder for this?

[eeniemeenieminiemoe2014]

say you know the next services isnt for 8 miles on a motorway and your houdini of a toddler manages to undo her harness and stand up in her seat.. eould you stop on the hard shoulder? or carry on the 8 miles?

the besafe thing worked for abput 15 seconds.

shouting in her face doesnt work, i tried it once when she bolted and I think it would have had more of an effect shouting at a brick wall than my dd :(

theres no smart motorways near here!

The seat pictured above is great for escapees and also children with additional needs who don't understand the need for safety.

I agree with a PP, take a look at one of those forward facing car seats with an impact cushion, they use the car's seat belt rather than a harness so harder for your dd to get to.

thecarseatlady.com/houdini/

I suspect the little buttons would stop a determined child for about five minutes...

I would have stopped. But you need to be bloody quick because being on the hard shoulder is so dangerous.

pauldacre, I love your name.

Op, you need a Crelling harness for her, should do the job.

STOP

sorry, only read 1st page so not sure if been suggested but I bought a waistcoat type restraint from mothercare called 5point plus which stops toddlers taking their arms out of straps and climbing out.

Until you mentioned unfastening the baby, I'd have said no. Rejoining the carriageway from the hard shoulder is fucking terrifying, let alone the dangers of being parked in one.

Yes I would of (and have) stopped.

I get punishment seems the best option here but if your DD is autistic or struggling then maybe in the future you'll need the opposite to ensure a safe drive on any long trips.

Just make sure you lock all the doors and buckle them in, if she continues to unbuckle and a new car seat doesn't work then try offer her something if she can make it to the end of a journey, start with a sweet then as time goes on lower to a gold star / you need 10 gold stars for a sweet etc.

Hopefully in another year or so she will understand the dangers. My son was about 4 when he finally started listening to me in the car. He is 6 now and fully understands. But when they are younger danger doesn't mean much.

I would stop if I couldn't drive safely - either because I couldn't concentrate or if there was a risk of her getting out of the car.

Otherwise I would drive slowly and carefully in the slow lane till the next exit. The chances of being hit on the hard shoulder are much higher than of having an accident driving 8 miles on a motorway (the safest type of road). Hard shoulders make me shudder - working in A&E, I have seen horrific incidents, including a mother & toddler wiped out by a lorry when the family stopped because the toddler was desperate to pee .

If you haven't got an airbag on that side or can disable it (or even get it disabled by a garage) I would sit her in front passenger seat until she grows out of it. Pushed backed as far as it will go - in fact front facing seat with an airbag can be ok if the seat goes back far enough...I can't remember the details now - there was a distance from the child's chest sat in their seat to the dashboard...
I used to have a similar problem with DD1 (who was diagnosed with ADHD as a teen) and I spoke to the police safety officer about the best thing to do. At least next to you it is easier to see when she goes for the buckle - judge her mood - whether she is likely to do it and if she does do it you will know quickly... and it is safer than trying to keep an eye on her in the rear view mirror... - so not ideal - she is safer in the back -but you should be a safer driver with her in the front...
(If you do - remember there probably isn't a child lock on the front so you need to lock the door- so she can't decide to open it on the motorway...)
I wouldn't really recommend this but I cured my DD by frightening her. It would be a battle to get her in her seat - then she could undo it and
I had to drive along a relatively fast clearway - with an inaccessible verge for a couple of miles everyday. I tried everything and I was desperate. One day when she refused to get in her seat (in the rear) I drove really slowly (5mph ish) on a car park then slammed my brakes on - which threw her forward. Not enough to hurt her but enough for her to realise why she had to be fastened in -it did work -but not my finest parenting moment.
DD2 - NT - decided to see what it was like not fastened in when she was about 3 ....it was a bad Winter, the first time I had taken the car out for over a week, the road was covered in thick snow, lots of parked cars and a single track of clearish road in the middle...I couldn't stop for 100 m or so because I was worried about a car coming up behind and skidding into us. I was already worried about driving in those conditions so I got a real fright and when I could stop I really shouted at her. For probably for the first time as she was always really good/well behaved. She never did it again. In fact one day years later I set off on the drive when she hadn't finished fastening her belt and she panicked!

She did open the door once from her seat - had forgotten to put the child lock on after taking it off for much older children. Luckily it was going through a village at 30mph - not on the 60mph road just before or after.

I got the Kiddy Guardian pro exactly for that reason. THere was no way dd could slide, climb or reach the seatbelt to get out. She was wedged in. I could aslo hold her in with the wedge bit whilst doing the seatbelt. She then actually enjoyed her 'table'.

www.childcarseats.org.uk/choosing-using/children-undoing-their-harness/

I think you did all the right things here OP. I also think you should give her immediate consequences if she comes out of her seat. I agree with others about smacking here, but if you don't want to do that then shout really scarily at her to sit down. Or get a new rear facing car seat with hidden buckles. Need to nip this now really.

she is very likely to be autistic, she cant make the link between the danger and she also cant link consequences to the behaviour

she's 2 and a half, of course she can't make those links, that doesn't have anything to do with autism.

Let's presume OP knows her child, Prospero

I assume she does, but thats a very off thing to say is the point.

When dd2 undid hers I tucked the car in between lorries in the first lane and carefully carefully drove at 60 to the next exit and pulled over there. I'm too terrified about rejoining the motorway from the hardshoulder. The lorries are generally nose to nose round here.it bad enough joining on a slip road!

Why the hell would you NOT stop?

Because it's incredibly dangerous. 16 people killed each year and 200 injured - which is extremely high when you consider how little time we spend on them. A traffic police officer once told me that your average life expectancy on the hard shoulder is 15 minutes.

People sometimes asked me if working in A&E changed my behaviour. The answer is basically no - I still wear non-sensible shoes and drink too much gin . But the one thing that I never do is stop on the hard shoulder unless it's a dire emergency.

Indeed, shiny. There's a reason everyone has to get out of a broken down vehicle and stay as far behind the crash barrier as they can whilst waiting for the AA.

shiny, how do those risks compare to an unrestrained toddler?

You mentioned about her seat being on the traffic side, I assume at least that the child lock is on so she can't open the door while you're driving?

I'd definitely stop. You did the right thing and you must have been terrified.

I've never had to, but why is it so unsafe to stop on the hard shoulder?