To struggle with being a mother

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Name changed, people are on here and know my situation personally.

3 months in & omg it's the hardest thing I've ever done.

When he cries, when he fights going to sleep, when I have to go in and out, when I have to stop doing what I'm doing to put his dummy back in.......I feel like my insides suddenly twist in actual pain when I hear him cry.

Single mother doing it without the help of his DF.

Help from DM only have no other family.

I hate going to sleep solely because I know I have to get up and do it all again, I know people say it gets easier but right now I just want to pack a bag, get in my car and disappear!

I get told constantly I have to just get on with it, this is the life I have and basically tough luck....I say the same thing to myself all the time but it doesn't make it easier to deal with on my own.

I'm drowning & I can't ask for help because il be branded post natally depressed, a mother who clearly cannot cope and should have her DS taken off of her.

Why is it socially acceptable to leave the family and only see the DC every other weekend but if I rang SS and said "I'd like someone else to care for my DS and I visit him every other weekend" I'd have him removed from my care and adopted 😣

I'd be classed as mentally unstable & would deserve to have my DS removed! Why is it soooooo unfair??

Yes I had sex, okay, I fell pregnant but I didn't plan for anything that happened after to actually happen! He left, not me, I planned my entire life with him 😔

Sorry! Just need a rant, I'm so bloody deflated, stressed and exhausted with the sole responsibility on my shoulders.

Just feed the full thread op. With my first I followed, from 3 months, the controversial Gina Ford (she was new at the time "the contented baby book") it's a very strict routine supposed to be implemented on day one but I was a mess for the first 12 weeks. So this routine has baby up at 7am nap 9-10 and at 12:30 to 2:30pm and in bed by 7pm. I think my first baby was very agreeable because she fell into this routine and I lived for her nap times and bedtime (I pulled that forward many a night), mostly though it helped for me to know what was coming: nap, free time, bath. The longest period was the afternoon (which i often dreaded) but I would try and go for a walk or do some shopping in that time. It doesn't have to be that routine but any system that will allow you to know that you'll have an hour or two to look forward to. My second child wasn't so keen on napping. Or feeding. Or agreeing with any of my suggestions so I am well aware that every baby is different. I hope you find something to help you.

Just want to reiterate that you ARE NOT ALONE! I struggled with all the same thoughts and feelings you describe and I had a supportive partner..... I can't even imagine how much harder it must be for you. Is there any way you could move in with your mum for 2 or 3 months until things settle a bit/you go back to work? I found going back to work was a great turning point for me! Sending love x