I just need to get this out as I've been cross about it all day.
This morning was ds2's concert. He's in reception, and has been excited about it for weeks. I planned to go, along with one of my uncles (who is really good at stepping into quasi-grandparent role), and had to take ds1 (12, severe ASD) along too due to logistics. Been planned for ages. Ds1 was fine about it - meant him getting to school a bit late, but all good, and he likes going along for the snack, and having a chat with other parents/teachers.
Yesterday, STBXH suddenly asks me what this concert is that ds2 is talking about, and gets stroppy that I haven't told him about it (we are recently separated, still live in same house, and I bloody gave him the school calendar the day after it arrived back in April, and have repeatedly pointed him in its direction since). Then announces he will come along too. Great for ds2, not so for ds1 with last minute change of plan etc, but hey ho, I'll get him through it.
So, come this morning. Stbxh appears 10 minutes before I am due to leave with my uncle and the dc, and says he thinks he should have a lift too ((he NEVERcomes on school run, so another change, and other concerts he has attended he took his own car, and met us there), and that my uncle should walk down and meet us there, because it's too hot for H to walk down in his suit (wtf? My uncle is almost 70, and umm, a guest?!). Plus another change for ds1 to deal with.
But we get on with it, and get ds2 to school, meet uncle there, no worries. Ds1 doing really well, considering.
We get into the hall, sit down, and within 5 minutes, Stbx announces that he thinks he'll have to leave halfway through (it's a bloody reception concert, fgs, it only lasts about 20 minutes!) because he has a meeting he really can't miss at work. Ds1 hears, gets really anxious, I manage to tell Stbx that I don't think it's a great idea - ds1 will hit the roof, and go overboard asking where's daddy going? over and over, and ds2 might be a bit upset to see his dad walking out in the middle!
Stbx argues, saying I didn't tell him how long it would be, and ds1 goes into meltdown as can't cope with yet another plan change. I take ds1 out, Stbx stays.
I couldn't calm ds1 enough to go back in at all, so I missed the whole concert, but had to wait for Stbx afterwards so ds1 could say goodbye before going to school - as he came out, Stbx hissed 'we need to coordinate this better, this whole thing could have been avoided' said goodbye to ds1 and strode off.
Sorry, that's all really long! But just needed to rant about it, as I'm still fuming.
(ds2 was a trooper, btw, and despite seeing ds1 and me outside as he went in to perform, took it really well that I wasn't watching, and didn't get put off, which is the main thing)