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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think DH is being silly and I'll be fine to drive home?

55 replies

WhataHexIgotinto · 21/06/2017 21:55

I have always been in rude health so accept my judgement may be a little off BUT

I have to have a biopsy on a suspected cancerous area on my skin. It's not removal of the bloody thing, it's just a biopsy to see what we're dealing with so I don't want to make a fuss. The letter says it will be one under local anaesthetic so I have assumed that I'll have a bit of the thing taken for analysis, get in my car and go back to work. DH is insisting he comes with me, drives me home and I 'rest' for the day.

Now, I know he's being lovely and all that but I just want to have it done and get back to work so I don't have to think about it too much. He's worrying me even more by just trying to be nice, but I honestly think I'll be totally fine. Am I being niaive or is he over reacting?

OP posts:
everthibkyouvebeenconned · 21/06/2017 22:34

Had one on my neck last year. It was absolutey fine. Going to the dentist is far far worse and I drive after that

MerryInthechelseahotel · 21/06/2017 22:35

I've had about 8 or 9 skin biopsies and driven myself each time. I would have loved someone like your husband caring enough about me though to offer to come along! he told me he was obviously more concerned about himself as if I died he would be the one left behind

bigbluebus · 21/06/2017 22:38

Isn't it just like having a local anaesthetic at the dentist for a filling or tooth extraction? If so then I have driven straight afterwards although with the tooth extraction I had to wait for 15 mins before I could remove the cotton roll from my mouth which was pressing on the extraction site as I didn't want to choke on it if I had to stop suddenly.

I did get a message whilst I was at the dentist which meant I may had needed to hot foot it down to the hospital 20 miles away as there was a problem with DD at school and the dentist did say I needed to be careful - but I think that was more related to the post extraction bleeding rather than the anaesthetic.

TeacupDrama · 21/06/2017 22:39

I'm a dentist so give loads of local anaesthetic nearly always with adrenaline, it is the same type, as doctors and surgeons use. there is no reason to not drive after local anaesthetic, 97% of patients finish procedure make next appointment pay then go about their day, the adrenaline in local acts a a vasoconstrictor so less bleeding at sight, a very few people are particularly sensitive to adrenaline which is naturally occurring in our bodies ( absolutely no one is allergic) and feel as if their heart is racing for a short time.
The most common reason people feel woozy afterwards is the release of natural adrenaline as they have been tensed up and worried or they feel faint from having being lying down then suddenly sitting up or occasionally because they didn't eat beforehand and now have low blood sugar

Local anaesthetic acts and dissipates locally not systemically unlike sedation however mild

Back to OP there is no reason unless hospital say otherwise not to drive there and straight back to work afterwards if you can't do anything after it will be in the letter. However it's nice DH wants to come with you but if you don't want a fuss just say so, obviously the area will be numb for 2_3 hours afterwards

Good luck

lalalalyra · 21/06/2017 22:41

I think it would depend on where on your face. I had one removed on my neck and was fine, but I had one removed from near my eye and I wouldn't have been able to drive because my eye ran constantly (and them working close to my eye made me a bit wobbly nerves wise).

BunsOfAnarchy · 21/06/2017 22:43

Fingers crossed all goes well and its something benign or easily treatable.

It may be a small thing under local anasthetic but don't underestimate your OH's feelings. People often forget the impact a cancer scare has on the rest of the family. He wants to be there, let him. It's incredibly sweet and supportive.

You have a method of dealing with your feelings about this, but this is his method of dealing with his feelings. He sounds like my OH.

Ask him to drop you back at work after rather than resting at home. Compromise. That way he gets to be there for you in the way he wants, and you get to go back to work to take your mind off it like you want.

Best of luck and fingers crossed xx

Original poster
WhataHexIgotinto · 21/06/2017 22:43

Thank you all, Drama your post was especially helpful.

OP posts:
DirtyChaiLatte · 21/06/2017 22:45

It sounds like he wants to do it because he cares and he's worried about you. You've said yourself that you're scared and I'm sure that he can see that in you and just wants to be there to support you.

But, if you really do need to do this alone, then of course he should respect that.

NatureIsAWhore · 21/06/2017 22:46

What's rude health?

RubyRoseRing · 21/06/2017 22:47

I had a skin tag removed above my eye a few years ago, and wasn't told I was advised not to drive after the minor op. In fact DH was with me and could have driven, but I dislike being a passenger so I did drive. It was fine. It was painful and distracting the next day rather than day of procedure. But no major swelling. OP, I think it depends where your lesion is.

LadyLannister · 21/06/2017 22:53

I had a cancerous growth removed from my back and drove straight home afterwards no problem. It didn't even occur to me not to drive home to be honest as it's done under a local anaesthetic so you shouldn't be drowsy or anything.
I suppose it depends how worried you are and whether you think you'll get a bit shaky but the anaesthetic and procedure alone shouldn't be enough to stop you driving home.

Jeffstar79 · 21/06/2017 22:53

I had one on my head the other year. Went to the appointment thinking they were just going to look at it and they took a biopsy there and then. I was fine to drive but it did bleed an awful lot - I got some very odd looks walking out of the hospital.

purpleflower23 · 21/06/2017 22:54

Let him take you and then maybe go somewhere nice afterwards, lunch or maybe something distracting like the cinema to take your mind off things? Hope all goes well xx

TheSnorkMaidenReturns · 21/06/2017 22:55

You will probably be fine, but if you and your DH can both take the time off, it might be less stressful.

Do you know how long it takes to drive to the hospital at that time of day? How the parking is? Your way around the hospital? All these things use time and emotional energy.

If you think you would be better off on your own, go on your own. Anxious family in the waiting room are the pits Wink.

ShavenConnery · 21/06/2017 22:56

You probably don't need the time off for a biopsy unless the hospital has said so, but you should take the opportunity for time away from work anyway.

I guess what I'm basically arguing is- you're being giving a free day, there must be something you want to do with a free day rather than go to work. Do that.

MammaTJ · 21/06/2017 22:57

I had one done on the side of my face. Local and fine afterwards. I cycled home, as that is how I got about in those days.

Elphame · 21/06/2017 22:59

I've always driven my self home after having procedures under LA. Even the vacuum assisted excision breast biopsies.

The sole exception was some fairly extensive surgery but I was absolutely fine afterwards and could have driven myself.

2017SoFarSoGood · 21/06/2017 23:00

I fought that fight several years ago and won. Prize was going alone to have a (non-cancerous but suspicious) mole removed from my chin. What a mistake. Was not prepared for it to be all 'surgery' like, including putting large green sheet over my body leaving only face poking out, and the doctor and nurse all gowned, booted, masked and suited. I got the shakes, proceeded to faint and had to stay there for several extra hours (with actual smelling salts!!!!) and then get a cab home, where I rested up for the rest of the day. Was rather upsetting, if not painful, and ended up with lots and lots of internal stitches and quite a few outside as well.

Of course, I am a wimp and can't stand blood/gore. I say take all the help you can get. I'll never make that mistake again.

josCS · 21/06/2017 23:02

I drove to the hospital for a very minor procedure under local. It wasn't until I was been discharged and they asked who was coming to collect me or did I need a taxi that I discovered I wasn't allowed to drive home! Husband had to get in a taxi and come and collect me and the car! Best to just check with the hospital.

Sounbelievablydull · 21/06/2017 23:05

Oh dear- life is very short work is always there
Please give yourself and your husband who is trying his best to be supportive a break
Take the day if keavecallows if all ok have a nice lunch the two of you
If not so good have a rest xx

Freshprincess · 21/06/2017 23:06

I had one done on my cheek last week. I would have been fine to drive home (my sister insisted on driving me). I felt really really tired afterwards and had a little nap, though I could have managed an easy day at work if I'd had to.

I would advise you to keep your eyes closed, I freaked out a bit when I saw her coming at my face wth the needle.

The numbness is weird afterwards and it was a bit sore once the local wore off but not unmanageable.

Nospringflower · 21/06/2017 23:19

I think it is not the physical effects of the biopsy, local anaesthetic etc but it is the psychological facts that you are worried even if you are trying to put a brave face on it. I would let your husband come with you and take the day off and give yourself time to relax a bit.

Muumi3 · 21/06/2017 23:28

WarriorsDance, NatureIsAWhore definitely local anesthetic. My brother is the same way, but I guess it's not a common reaction

I also meant that I, personally, definitely wouldn't drive because of the confusion. Not that I was advised not to drive

Noisybastardsshutup · 21/06/2017 23:32

I had a biopsy on my chest and drove myself to hospital. Afterwards I was so shaky I had to sit down for ages until I felt able to drive home.

PoohBearsHole · 21/06/2017 23:41

I had local and op to remove something from the crease of my "knicker line" drove ysekfnthere and back, although not immediately afterwards. However dh was unavailable to do so, so it wasn't an option for me but no one told me i shouldn't. If it helps i was fine, the local didn't wear off for several hours. I also drive home an hour after two fillings under local in a very busy motorway, was also fine, Howecer your u might want your dh there, you won't need him but it's often nice to have someone care for your u 🙂