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AIBU?

DS's TA calls him 'nose' AIBU to think it's not hard to say his name?

69 replies

violetmeadows · 21/06/2017 19:55

Yes, my son has the MN dreaded name (Noah) and ifs funnily the only kid in his year with the name Grin anyway...

His TA calls him 'nose' - I know it's clearing the first syllable with an s on the end (so it's Nos) but still!

AIBU to think it's not hard to just say his name?

OP posts:
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NotYoda · 21/06/2017 20:24

So he doesn't care and neither should you

MN is full of parents complaining about something someone does, assuming the worst possible interpretation of what it means, which does not bother their child

Isit too hard to think that she's being affectionate?

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ImperialBlether · 21/06/2017 20:24

Nose is not a nickname for Noah and she needs to be told not to use it.

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barrygetamoveonplease · 21/06/2017 20:27

She needs telling. It's a while since I was teaching but having nicknames for pupils was definitely against guidelines. Using names as accurately as possible is essential, too, though a different issue.

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BadToTheBone · 21/06/2017 20:27

I'd have said something way before now, with only a few weeks left till summer, won't he change classes in September?

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ThroughThickAndThin01 · 21/06/2017 20:28

It's not a nickname. It's the first syllable of his name

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msgrinch · 21/06/2017 20:28

Of course "Nos" is a shortening/nickname of Noah. Just like Wills is of William, Debs is of Deborah and so on. I know loads of Noahs, so many in my sons class and football club, they all get called Nos/Noey/N.

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RebelRogue · 21/06/2017 20:29

It's a while since I was teaching but having nicknames for pupils was definitely against guidelines.

Really...need to check on that one then.

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llhj · 21/06/2017 20:32

It's just a TA being friendly and trying to build a relationship with a child. Surely you can explain Holly is Hols and he's Nos? If he's not upset why the big deal?

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OnwardsNewLifeAhead · 21/06/2017 20:34

I hate it when teachers decide a) that a child needs a nickname and b) what that nickname should be. It's not their decision to make, and as a pp has said, it is usual to be asked (on forms etc) to give full name and indicate what the child is usually known as.

My dd1 is very firm with people who try to shorten her name - she only uses the full version, and will tell people directly 'that's not my name'. She used to have a family nickname (shortening of her name, but not a common one) but asked us to stop using it a few years ago.

Dd2 was always her full name, never shortened. Until one of her teachers decided to only call her by a short version, and dd2 was too shy to correct her. Now dd2 is known by that shortened version, and says 'I don't really mind' which doesn't sound like a great endorsement, tbh!

Ds is known by a shortened form of his name, and woe betide anyone who uses the full version - he has never been the full version, and probably never will be! He was quite upset when he started at school and his peg/book bag/name label all had the full version on (why, I have no idea, as I very clearly wrote the name we use on all 'child known as' forms, plus all the teachers at school know he's that version, as they've seen him since he was born, due to dd2's school runs!)

I think it's really rude to just decide you want to call someone a different name, and teachers certainly shouldn't be doing it.

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NoCapes · 21/06/2017 20:37

I'd be glad that she has such a connection/bond with him that she feels comfortable to use a nickname tbh
I'd also take it to mean that she likes my child, which is always nice

DDs teacher in reception gave her a nickname and now the whole family use it! Smile

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SailAwayWithMeHoney · 21/06/2017 20:38

I too have a Noah, someone once tried calling him No-No... I wasn't all that impressed.

I wouldn't be happy with a teacher deciding upon a nickname for him...

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NotYoda · 21/06/2017 20:38

If he decides he really does care, you can coach him how to ask her to call him Noah. If she cocks a snook at that, then she's really unreasonable.

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helpimitchy · 21/06/2017 20:41

People shouldn't assume that they can give people nicknames just because they feel like it. A person's name is usually an important part of their identity and an unwanted nickname can cause bad feelings.

Start calling the TA 'Spleen' seeing as she's fond of random body parts.

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donquixotedelamancha · 21/06/2017 20:44

"It's a while since I was teaching but having nicknames for pupils was definitely against guidelines."

Yeah right, in the same way stuff is 'against health and safety' and 'the EU have banned it'.

People making shit up and blaming 'rules' is why some people think necessary safety rules (like don't clad a tower in burny stuff) should be done away with.

Some kids like to be taught by actual humans who can have an unscripted conversation. If DS isn't upset, then there is no issue.

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JimmyChoosChimichanga · 21/06/2017 20:46

I love the name Noah. It's just one slightly bent syllable. How hard can that be?

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Hulababy · 21/06/2017 20:48

Its just a NN, not meant maliciously.

However, if he doesn't like it or would prefer her not to, just have a quiet word. I am sure she will stop.

Im a TA these days and been a teacher for a while longer - so a good 20+ years in all. No guidelines on using NN with children in any school or LA I have worked for. I mean, how would they even police it!

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msgrinch · 21/06/2017 20:48

It's a while since I was teaching but having nicknames for pupils was definitely against guidelines. what time machine have you dragged yourself out of?! As it was fine when I was growing up, fine when very much older and younger siblings were, fine when my children were and fine when my 66 year old mother was. You must be very old.

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donquixotedelamancha · 21/06/2017 20:48

"People shouldn't assume that they can give people nicknames just because they feel like it."

That is literally how every nickname ever came into being. Try asking to be called 'ace' from now on and see how it goes.

"A person's name is usually an important part of their identity and an unwanted nickname can cause bad feelings."

It certainly can, especially mean ones. But this isn't and it hasn't. If it did then coaching the child to make a pretty simple request would be the first step.

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Hulababy · 21/06/2017 20:49

FWIW DD's name is Mollie, and many a teacher have called her Moll. She's never thought they were doing it for any bad reason, just as a pet form.

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Mexxi · 21/06/2017 20:49

Where I teach, the children are called by their full names. I don't think it's appropriate to shorten a child's name like that. The TA should know better and i think you should speak to the teacher about it.

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NotYoda · 21/06/2017 20:51

Mexxi

Can't she talk to the TA?

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donquixotedelamancha · 21/06/2017 20:53

"Im a TA these days and been a teacher for a while longer - so a good 20+ years in all. No guidelines on using NN with children in any school or LA I have worked for. I mean, how would they even police it!"

Yep, but I guarantee you met someone who invents silly rules- teaching is full of them.

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WorraLiberty · 21/06/2017 20:54

I don't understand why some people on this thread, are still assuming the TA finds saying Noah difficult and that's why she's chosen to say 'Noes'?

Do you only shorten people's names because you find the proper name difficult to pronounce?

Have you never shortened someone's name affectionately?

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BubblesBuddy · 21/06/2017 20:54

This child has a name and it is not "Nose". It is not acceptable for any member of staff to use a name other than the given name because it is not respecting the child or the parent. If the child arrives at school and is affectionately called a nickname by everyone, then that's fine but Nose is not acceptable if it is the invention of a member of staff. The beauty of Noah, I thought, is that it is too short to be shortened!! It is not difficult to ask politely that the TA to use his given name. All children should feel comfortable at school.

How this topic relates to Grenfell Tower is beyond me!

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228agreenend · 21/06/2017 20:55

If the nn was commonly used by everyone, and the child didn't mind, then not a problem.

However, this ta has chosen her own nn. I don't think it's acceptable. Its making the relationship too familiar, and it's not her place to give him a nn..(unless she's the type of person who gives everyone a nickname).

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