To think "I have anxiety" is becoming the new 'go to' armchair diagnosis?

[ClothEaredBint]

I'm saying this as someone who actually has an Anxiety Disorder, diagnosed, medicated, lived with it for 20 years and which has a serious impact on my ability to function day to day..

I seem to be spotting it being thrown out like a disclaimer for peoples neurotic behaviour on here just lately, and its really actually starting to get on my fucking nerves.

Yes, you might be anxious, it does NOT mean you HAVE Anxiety.

Anxiety is a recognised mental health disorder that seriously affects peoples ability to function, it filters into every aspect of their lives.

Claiming you 'have anxiety' when something is worrying you is as offensive to those of us who actually DO have it as saying 'a little bit OCD' when you like something done a specific way, or 'a little bit depressed' when you're a bit sad about something.

Stop it.

You're minimising a very real and very upsetting disorder that people actually suffer with.

Batteries im really sorry you had a bad experience but Ive worked in this field for 10 years and I really don't think it's the norm.

I agree 100%. I have been pushed to the brink of suicide by severe depression on multiple occasions; it is the most painful and lonely place you can imagine. Drives me absolutely mad when people say they are 'depressed' because their favourite ice cream flavour wasn't in stock. There is a serious misunderstanding about what people - such as myself and clearly the OP - who have truly experienced the horror of these illnesses have to endure.

My sympathies, OP while I've not been in an identical situation, I certainly can relate.

I think it's awful that people in this thread only seem to think anxiety is anxiety if you want to kill yourswlf, or struggle every hour of every day. It's more complex than that. Just because it isn't the same as your situation doesn't make it any less valid.

Iris65 I get that, I am registered with ukcp and accredited with bacp and babcp and know what it involves

But most people don't think to check for those things when choosing a private therapist, why would they.

Hrm. I'm not sure it's helpful to say 'if you've not got an official diagnosis, there's nothing wrong, get on with it'. I have bipolar disorder and it took over a decade to get that diagnosis sorted.

Were my experiences for those ten years meaningless? Or not real because no doctor put a stamp on them? Plus, yeah, maybe some posters here exaggerate their symptoms, but I think I'd rather some special snowflakes get to feel a bit better about themselves without being really ill than someone with genuine GAD or depression gets a kicking and told to get over themselves when they are really suffering.

Is that what the are saying Ihave?

There has to be a criteria for conditions and illness or they cannot be identified properly.
There is a trend for people self diagnosing everything now and its not helpful

I don't understand why someone would want an anxiety disorder or anything else that has such a huge impact. I suspect its because claiming to have something is a bit like getting the 'perks' without the downsides.

'I have anxiety' 'oh you poor thing' or 'ok you dont have to do XYZ'
Cool. I can just get on with my day

Someone with an anxiety disorder would quite probably be next to unable to express that they were too anxious to do something or go somewhere. They would then be considered flaky or selfish or lazy etc.

Anxiety is exhausting. It makes everything so complicated. I am delighted I am better than I was a couple of years ago. My anxiety only really flares up when certain specific things trigger it. I lived with complex ptsd for over a decade. I lost a whole ten years to it.

WHY would anyone want to lay claim to that?

You don't have to have a dr diagnosis to know you have anxiety.
I've never been to gp about it as I'm a huge gp avoider, but I know I have suffered from anxiety in the past.
It's where you worries, which you know are completely irrational, preventing you from living a "normal" life. Not being able to get a full nights sleep because your so worried about your dc's top bunk breaking and harming younger dc on the bottom bunk, hiring a villa and spending every night and the floor of your dcs room because your worried about someone breaking in and kidnapping them, refusing to go anywhere that requires travelling by train because platforms scare the shit out of you and you constantly fear someone falling onto the tracks.
As I said I've never been to the gp about it, and when I've been pregnant all fears intensified to the point I had a full blown panic attack during my last labour.

Anyone who believes they have some form of mental illness be it anxiety, depression etc deserves full support as you have no idea what is going on in their head. You don't have to be at the point of suicide to be depressed just like you don't have to be at the point of too scared to leave your house to have anxiety. Stop being so judgemental

I have a diagnosed anxiety disorder. I very much disagree with your post.

Mental health issues are generally on a spectrum and you don't need to be severe to be miserable and need help. I think this attitude puts some people off seeking professional support- they think they are making a fuss or they aren't really that bad. That's more harmful in the long run.

As a person with anxiety, I am happy to listen to and support friends. Them labelling themselves as having anxiety without a diagnosis doesn't lessen my experiences in any way, and I'm happy that people are increasingly able to vocalise their struggles so they don't have to go to some of the dark places I've been.

I agree with everything CloudPerson has said - I have Aspergers, Social Anxiety, General Anxiety and Depression. All diagnosed. I get a bit pissed off sometimes when people talk on here about how they are 'having a panic attack', because honestly, when I'm having a panic attack, I'm struggling to breath and trying to convince myself I'm not going to die, so posting on MumsNet isn't even on the radar.

I also agree that when you have co-morbid conditions, it's more difficult to get effective treatment. For example, I have been through a few 'rounds' of CBT now, but unfortunately there are things that just don't work for me because of my Aspergers, so they've never been massively successful. Generally they get me out of the house again ultimately, albeit not doing too much else, so I guess they are useful in that sense - until the next time. Oh, and they tried to get me to go to a group session too at first...that was never going to happen.

I think there are a lot of people with undiagnosed anxiety issues, not always to the extent of disorders, but with definite need of help and support, but admitting you need help can be difficult.

There are also a lot of people who think tacking, 'I have anxiety' onto a statement makes everything okay, and it just doesn't.

I particularly agree with Cloud's thought that there may be a higher percentage of people with MH/ASD on Internet forums because it is an easier place to interact - it certainly is for me!

I think anxiety, along with depression, has to be seen on a sliding scale rather than an 'either you're in or you're out' situation. I know of a friend of a friend who has anxiety but it's only triggered by certain situations - if she doesn't hit that trigger, then she's fine and you'd be none the wiser. I have another friend who suffered from a very serious bout of depression but, again, (I hope!) only as a one-off before rebounding. Likewise, I would take somebody saying "I sometimes have problems with anxiety" to mean anything from "I sometimes have panic attacks" to "sometimes I get a bit anxious if my keys aren't where I thought I left them".

I too have anxiety and depression, which has been treated by a combination of on-and-off medication and talking therapy for about 15 years. I would say most of the time I function pretty well - I have some nasty intrusive thoughts and occasionally feel more lethargic than I should give my circumstances but that's really it. However, about once every 18 months or so, I will have fairly crippling panic attacks followed by days of just being able to do nothing but lie in bed staring blankly at a wall or, if I'm lucky, a screen. I'd be left completely gutted if somebody dared to challenge me during one of my better periods because I didn't seem 'unwell enough' - but, to an extent, they also have a point because I don't need any special accommodations or whatever during my better periods so I'd be being something of an entitled little madam if I went around demanding them.

Sheep how would you know? Do you have any idea how impossible it is for someone with an anxiety disorder to make a complaint about a professional?!

You might think the people you work with are competent and great. Maybe they are.

I have fairly extensive experience of NHS and private and believe me, whilst the best people I've seen have all been NHS, so have the worst. And I've come across this 'oh all NHS therapists are amazing, my team is wonderful' attitude before. Often it's because those people don't see the whole picture.

I agree Batteries, my NHS counselling was dreadful. I never made a complaint. I just stopped going.

I'm also wondering if one of the main purposes of CBT is to get unemployed people or sick people back to work. Every week I had to sign all these forms about work and benefits. I was neither working nor on benefit, so the forms were not relevant. It all seemed structured around productivity.

Although that wasn't what made it awful.

It isn't just that I noticed on here very early on that when anyone has a probelm with anyone even a friend, everyone jumps on bandwagon diagnosing ADHD, anxiety etc in said friend.

I pointed out that everyone jumps to armchair diagnosis first before considering anything else and I got my arse handed to me

The chances of every single problematic relative, friend, child having a disorder is remote but it what is bandied about here.

I use 'I have anxiety' a lot on here (old poster, frequently nc). I have chronic GAD, diagnosed by several doctors and will probably be taking medication for the rest of my life.

YABU to assume that anyone who writes 'I have anxiety' or 'I have panic attacks' doesn't actually have a diagnosis and / or illness.

It's one in four people though, isn't it?

Yes it is, because I have seen it. Have a read through and you will too.

People are comparing their anxiety to what others should be feeling when it isn't like that at all. It's a spectrum.

Not sure on your (?) feels like a bit of a put down, not really any need to be honest. I'm not stupid and do happen to have the ability to read.

I've often wondered how people are able to post when they are having a panic attack I know I wouldn't be able to.

This however I totally agree with. I've only had 4 panic attacks. In each one I've not even been able to string two words together as I struggled to breath so much, never mind logging on and typing a post. People do need more education on the difference between and amxiety attack and a panic attack.

I was probably guilty of rather flippantly claiming to "have anxiety" when I felt anxious or worried about something.

Then my husband had a big change at work, which triggered real anxiety. I have never seen anything like it. Vomiting, inability to get out of bed, shaking uncontrollably. It was awful and completely out of character for him.

I am lucky enough that I don't have any personal experience with mental health issues, so this came as an utter shock. I could not understand why he couldn't just force himself out of bed and go to work. On a rational, logical level he agreed with me. He didn't understand it either. He cried a lot because he didn't understand what was happening to him. It was like something was physically stopping him from functioning.

It was treated with ADs and some CBT and he seems to have moved past it now. It was a genuinely horrible period in our lives. It has flaired up once or twice since (only over work-related matters) and he goes straight back onto ADs until he is able to see the wood for the trees.

I must admit I live in fear of it raising its head again. But never again will I take anxiety lightly. Real anxiety is a terrible, terrible thing.

So you, someone who doesn't know these people or there medical diagnosis are judging them... I wonder if you'd feel the same if the shoe were on the other foot.

Get over yourself. Aniexty effects everyone differently no two of my attacks were the same.

I absolutely agree, and having suffered a mental breakdown because of severe anxiety about 18 months ago, I really do think it shouldn't be trivialised at all.

I have always been an anxious person, but 'feeling anxious' and having an anxiety disorder are two completely different things entirely. Someone v close to me suffers terribly from panic attacks and anxiety, and has agoraphobia too so their anxiety is completely all consuming at times. It's so sad to watch people with this condition suffer all the time, and I certainly wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy.

I sometimes wonder if people who don't have anxiety or mental health issues ever really 'get' what it is truly like at all... I have been told by family (who are lucky enough not to suffer mental health issues) that I have to 'stop being so anxious' and at the height of anxiety and breakdown, all I was told was 'take the pills and medication', as though it was the only solution and easiest thing ever.

Having anxiety really sucks. In some ways, depression seems almost more socially 'acceptable', and that having anxiety is 'just' something that can go away with a few breathing exercises etc. Meditation, breathing exercises etc all certainly help to calm people down and change brain chemistry / thought patterns etc but altering deeply entrenched anxiety is another thing altogether, I think.

I have posted in the midst of prolonged panic attacks. I think always on the child health boards. I don't even want to look at them, they will be extremely embarrassing.
I posted once after being turned down for blood donation and it was cringeworthy. Some poor poster didn't 'know' me and was clearly bemused at my utter bonkerness. I felt bad that people thought she was being unsympathetic.
It wasn't her fault. I was coming across very badly.
When I have had the most serious PTSD flares I can't post though. Can' t move my arms away from my body.

Its true that you don't need a dx to genuinely have anxiety and that people have different degrees of anxiety BUT that does not excuse the glib 'I have anxiety' comments anymore than it does the 'lol I am a bit OCD' type ones.
THAT is what the OP is saying.

Free, I have to admit I've done that on certain threads, but only when I've recognised certain behaviours as similar to my own, or my ds.
When it comes to mental health, or ASD/ADHD, there are a lot of us out there, diagnosed or not.
The trouble with the posts in question is that so often the OP and others, in the pile-on, fight club that AIBU tends to be, they only want to hear "yes, they're twats, YANBU", when in RL it's rarely that straight forward, and many of my own experiences, without the background info of ASD and/or anxiety and MH stuff (things that not many RL people know about) would lead people to say with conviction that I am a twat, but with relevant info that they're not party to, it makes perfect sense.
I'm not sure I see it as armchair diagnosing in these cases, more putting a different spin on it going by my experiences. I've noticed this something that a lot of us with ASD or DC with ASD tend to do, trying to get people to see things from a different perspective.

Evening folks. Just a reminder to please be considerate when posting about issues like this. While we don't mind a discussion, we do think it's possible to have the debate without causing offence and being derogatory. Just so you're aware, we've had to delete one post that we felt wasn't in the spirit of Mumsnet and several posters had quoted said post afterwards, so we've deleted those, too. Apologies if yours was among them. Please do feel free to post again without mentioning the deleted post.

I totally agree.

I hear a lot of people saying it but they don't understand what it's really like, what it's like to be able to not sleep, to feel the hair on the back of your neck stand up when you feel an attack coming on, when you stutter over your words, replaying conversations in your head over and over again incase you said something wrong and overthinking every last detail, having trouble making decisions, feeling under pressure and everything else that goes with it.

It's awful.